If I had a dollar for every time I saw a posting for a lost dog on FB I could take us all out to dinner.

In my day, dogs weren't allowed in the house.

The few exceptions were people who had small dogs and that's a good thing,

because all of the bigger dogs would probably have eaten them.

Dogs were pets.

You played with your dog.

You took your dog with you when you rode your bike around the neighborhood.

They didn't need a leash because we trained them as pups.

We didn't give them a treat for doing a trick. Food was too scarce for that.

Just saying the word NO was enough to stop your dog from whatever he was getting into.

Again, because we trained them.

We didn't treat them like family or pamper them.

They were pets.

I can see why so many dogs get lost.

If people let them stay in the house all the time,

lying on the sofa and getting treats for doing a simple trick,

then if I got out of the house I'd be lost too.

Wait- was I talking about dogs or children?

~

The lemon must be the favorite citrus fruit of many,

because I see an overwhelming amount of people walking around with a look on their face attuned to those who have just bitten into one.

~

It has taken me 71 years, but I have achieved what I've always wanted:

A peaceful, content life.

~

Know what's better than roses on your piano?

Tulips on your organ.

I've been pondering the idea of sporting a bowler.

Men wear hats a lot more today.

I'm not talking about ball caps.

Totally different.

Maybe I'll start a trend.

Maybe I'll wind up adding another chapter to my 'oddness' legacy.

Be a trendsetter and join me.

~

If you can make them laugh, most people will like you.

Except for those people who can only laugh at other peoples' misfortune.

~

While walking today, I cut through the parking lot of a local gas station.

I turned a corner of the building and

BAM!

I almost walked into a lady coming from the opposite direction.

To be honest, it scared me half to death.

Warily I walked on, hoping for no more surprises before I had recovered.

Two scares so close together might prove to be fatal.

~

I recently bought a pair of khaki shorts online.

Good style, good price and I liked that they had buttons instead of velcro on the pockets.

Although there were pictures of the shorts with the buttons on the pockets,

the very first comment I read from customers was from someone who had purchased the shorts,

and then 'discovered' once they had received them that they had buttons on the pockets.

SMH

~

I'm tired of scraping, saving and waiting for the Great American Dream to happen,

so I'm going to buy some LEGOS and do it myself.

~

I met a woman recently who is close to my age and has a great body.

She is interested in me for only sex.

We have absolutely nothing in common.

I won't be pursuing her.

Why?

Because if I wanted to have sex with someone without having anything to talk about,

I would have stayed with my ex wife.

~