[url]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x54h9VG4VAk[/url]


......only my guynacolojist knows the truth!! cant be arsed to spellcheck that!! Anyway......not usually one for bearing my soul in pubic forum arenas but fuckit (have the greatest respect for those of you that do BTW)........just sat in the garden with the wind blowing through the trees....no other sounds for about an hour.....unbefuckinglievable!!! Real time for reflection and wondering if it will be salad or pizza for dinner......anyway, got to thinking about life and cream cheese and footpumps and all that mallarkey and thought about this place.........and all the pretty damn fine ppl ive met here.....(down to earth is my definition of fine)......not in a sexual capacity because i am usually not capable of that due to cockus non-inflatalatus....................which is nice!!

Thought about one of the nicest ppl i met in here ........Wetshubby.....always up for a laugh and a real genuine kinda guy......we would probably be good mates in real life reality TV type situation.......so heres a shout going out to ya mate......Fucking pull yr finger out and get yerself back in chat buddy.......not the same without ya!!

[url]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdQioZHYpvQ[/url]

In a pub quiz the other day I lost by one point. The question was where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently, it's Africa!!

I've heard that Apple have scrapped their plans for the new childrens iPod after realising that iTouch Kids is not a good product name.

George Clooney is to star in a new film about Gary Glitter, called "Oh, She's Eleven."

There's a new Muslim clothing shop opened in Camberley but I've been banned from it after asking to look at some bomber jackets

A mate of mine has just told me he's sh*gging his girlfriend and her twin. I said "How can you tell them apart?" He said "Her brother's got a moustache!"

A biker goes to the doctor with hearing problems. "Can you describe the symptoms to me?" asked the doctor. "Yes. Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastard and Marge is a skinny bird with
big blue hair."

ENJOY THE WEEKEND......and come on you yanks!!!

Somehow in chat the other night i managed to sort myself out hot date........dogging in Asdas car park with a fit chic.....i think she might even be a real woman....how weird is that?!!!
Im all excited about it for 3 main reasons;-
1) never been dogging before and 3) never had a date with a real woman before!

Just one problem........what you supposed to wear when you go dogging on Valentines night?!!!

[url]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPOl-f3RdRI&feature=related[/url]

just emptied me sac........nope....nothing!!!

Merry festivities one and all x

12 of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on British TV and radio:



1. Ted Walsh - Horse Racing Commentator - 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.'


2. New Zealand Rugby Commentator - 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.'


3. Pat Glenn, weightlifting commentator - 'And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!'


4. Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - 'Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew.'


5. US PGA Commentator - 'One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them. Oh my god !! What have I just said??'


6. Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on 'Time Team Live' said: 'You'd eat beaver if you could get it.'


7. A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, 'So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?' Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!


8. Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: 'Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69 yesterday.'


9. Clair Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on 'Look North' said: 'There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this. '


10 Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on 'Sky Sports': 'Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets.'


11. Michael Buerk on watching Philippa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: 'They seem cold out there. They're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts.'



12.. Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: 'Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny; other weeks he prefers to do it by himself.'

"romance....start as you mean to go on wat wat"?!

[url]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cU3XjOwwfJE&feature=fvw[/url]

This has no doubt been blogged before but what the feck....i dont care.....reminds me of back in the day when getting paid was pure joy and not a means to an end.....bill and maintenance wise!!! Not complaining.....wouldnt have it any other way!!

inspired by MDs recent hairdo blog...top notch blog that it was mate!!

[url]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YhvHOsg_Pk[/url]

is it just me or does this fella look like a samuel L whoopi goldberg kinda love child?!!!

have a great weekend nudists!!!

I have one main passion in life ( well 3 if you include dressing up as a 70s throwback affro porn king....and shagging all things inflatable, not necessarily at the same time...but it helps, trust me ) and that passion is music.....i do like a fairly broad range of music.....but when i heard this cover of a cover on the radio yesterday.....it blew me away. Its pretty old hat but i hadnt heard it before......and i love it when something is totally re-vamped so much so that you struggle to think what the original was.

[url]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XC_Rj51DLI[/url]

Whoever sits there and creates the "Top Tips" for Viz magazine......has my full respect......what a worthwhile and essential service they provide.........feckin love it!!!


FOOL other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car phone by holding an old TV or video remote control up to your ear and occasionally swerving across the road and mounting the kerb.

DRILL a one inch diameter hole in your refrigerator door. This will allow you to check that the light goes off when the door is closed.

Thicken up runny low-fat yoghurt by stirring in a spoonful of lard!

Minor skin grafts can be performed on pigs by covering any cuts and grazes with thin strips of bacon.

BOMB disposal experts' wives. Keep hubby on his toes by packing his lunchbox with plasticine and an old alarm clock.

MAKE shopkeepers feel like criminals and con men by carefully checking their change and holding bank notes up to the light before accepting them.

SAVE on charity donations by spending a pound on clothes at a charity shop, then selling them for 50p to another charity shop. This way you can give twice as much, at half the cost......I think.

is it that i havent had a real woman since..........