2nd personal training session in 2 days. My arms now hate me. My stomach hurts when I breathe. But.....bloody hell am I starting to get results!

Pics done. But do i start going through my pics and start deleting the more elephantine ones of me, or just leave them as an archive of how I have changed?

.. and for the first time ever I *didn't* post them in the bbw catergory...

I dont really post that many pics of me anymore - the shiny arse loves taking pics of what we do, so haven't really had the urge to do just some of me and my camera phone for a while. Not that I'm hiding - far from it. Its just that at the moment I feel I am a bit of a work in progress....

The weight is melting off me. Since Jan 1st I have lost 10lbs and I have also got myself a personal trainer down the gym. In an earlier blog (August?) when i came back from Corfu I was quite down about how big I was, and the stress I was under when I started my new job in the September wasn't really that conducive to shifting a large amount of weight. But the reality of going to a clothing optional place over Easter has hit home to me and I guess it has spurred me into action big time.

So.....I'm going to do some pics tomorrow. And maybe some people can tell the difference. I can. I seriously need to go clothes shopping as nothing fits me anymore!

I'll be honest. I'm having a bit of a shit time of it at the moment. The dream job has turned into the stuff of nightmares and I find myself signed off for three weeks with work related stress. I am going to leave teaching for good - I jut cant hack it any more. Plus, all the love and enjoyment I had for it has disappeared as well. So the plan is now find myself a little job in the NE, move in with the bloke with the shiny arse and do a degree in fine art (which, I guess, is what I should have done a long time ago)

But. This morning. I had a knock on the door. This is what I got.





I know I keep saying this but it is times like this I feel like I am the luckiest girl in the world. I found love here. Proper love. The mad passionate once-in-a-lifetime leaves you breathless type of love. And soon we will be together all the time.

This is utterly fucking amazing. Its even more amazing when you consider she's 80.....

A local school have made this for Children in Need. Its hilarious quite frankly......

There may be more...

It had to come to an end. Just had the most fantastic holiday with the shiny arsed one, finished with a very naughty and unexpected treat down the adult club on Friday night.

But I had to get on the scales again. I was dreading it, but I hadn't been too naughty and indulgent on holiday - just desserts and alcohol, really....so I was quite relieved that I only put on 2 lbs.

But I still don't feel comfortable in my own skin. I still feel very fat indeed ( lets face it, I am..) and I did feel very self conscious by the pool. TSAO took loads of photos, and to be honest I look elephantine in most of them. So do I go running to the Rose and Galaxy, indulge then feel a whole load worse afterwards? No. I do something positive. So its back on the waggon for me.

We are looking at next year's holiday. And I am looking at a bit of a surprise for TSAO as well for Easter next year. So...start now, feel much happier for then. So I have a new target - 4 stones (56lbs to the rest of the world). This will take me to what I was before i became ill. I wasn't skinny then..but i feel I need to be that size again. 4 stone over 9 or so months is do-able. I will blog the weight loss on a weekly basis and believe me I'm not going to shy away from this. When i set my mind to is, I usually get what I want.....this is completely within my own control.

So...first big challenge. Next week. The big 4-0 and a meal at a Chinese.....so I'm already working towards that so I can enjoy myself without having to worry.....I mean I am only 40 once...