don't say anything bad about Americans, they dont like it, even if it is the truth. The blog below is a good example.

my wife has gone out to play canasta with her girlfriends, my bird loving, tree hugging greeny sister in law (from the land of stars and strife)has gone shopping with my little(33) daughter who is as soft , caring and compassionate as General Patton, and uses similar tactics to win the day,Little daughter is a shopping Nazi so sister in law is about to get her come uppance!!. She goes home to dreamyland(California) on Wednesday morning via the big grey double decker bus (United Shabby airlines) the only airline where the hostesses uniforms look like they have been slept in all night (probably have, humping the aircrew).
Am I cynical? No. Am I compassionate? Just a little.
Do I like Americans? Of course I do, my mum came from Manhatten.
My son is in Viet Nam at the moment, trying to smooth over the horrendous fuck up that Kennedy started (US dropped seven and a half million tons of bombs and killed 1.1 million people because they did not have the political party they liked) plus all the poor US soldiers that were sent there and came home in a body bag the whole 50 thousand who died for nothing.
But my sister in law is a true champion, a tree hugging, bird watching greenie; but then she comes from Ca and they have Arnie to protect them!!

today I took my sister in law from California to the local wetlands centre. We tramped around the perimeter fence, stared at the muddy bottom of the 5 marsh ponds, stared at umpteen varieties of birds and was asked my opinion of this bird or that. I told her rule #1 is the only birds I recognise go between 2 hunks of bread rule #2 I couldn't give a stuff about the rest of the little bastards, so long as they don't shit on me. rule #3 I am not a tree huggin greeny and if you can't put them in a pie, then forget the little boring shits!!
You may be surprised, but things went downhill fast after that especially when I mentioned the only birds in California were the plastic variety with little motors in then at Disneyland - the rest had died from a mixture of extreme pollution and acid rain from fat arsed Americans trying to make a fast buck.
The rest of the trip around the wetlands was in silence, for some reason or other and tried unsuccessfully to find a hole to stash my empty water bottle.
Y

last night I went to bed naked and havent had anything further on so far today, I took 2 loads of washing out to the line and covered myself with the washing basket from the nosy bitch over the back fence and as soon as I finish lunch, I am going for a dip in our pool.
Years ago when we lived in South Australia, I used to tease our kids about going to Maslins Beach ( a nude beach) until my 10year old said dad, I bet you a dollar we never go to Maslins beach.
20 minutes later, we arrived at Maslins, I took a broadsheet newspaper in case I got excited, although the son said a cigarette paper would have done the job fine! I had been warned previously about the sickos on the beach but there were none on the beach, they were on the cliff tops overlooking the beach or in the myriad of boats anchored just offshore, all with binoculars. I had never enjoyed myself more than the freedom of swimming as God made us. Now that we live on the Central Coast, I go to Birdie Beach and swim with the normal people and thoroughly enjoy myself. Aussie Kylie goes there, but if I ever see her, I will not say anything; she posts pics of her face and is entitled to her privacy

Being a boring person, I have always liked plain white toilet paper, especially being a person who uses it sparingly (but not too sparingly, I never have brown fingers after the action!)as against eco terrorist women who scrunch (see previous blog 2 January 2006)but my family now all use 2ply or 3 ply with flowers or petals on it or even perfumed paper.
Years ago, they used banana leaf in Fiji and North Queensland, now the affluent use flower printed scented toilet paper which you glance at from 60 or 70 centimetres away and it only comes in contact with the bumhole to remove the excess shit and dags for a man or the pussy to wipe the excess piss (cause they can't shake it like a man)or the cum as well for a woman. The point to contemplate here is does the anus or pussy know the difference? Do these orifices smile in pleasure at the tissue or frown at the plain white at my place?


Am I super intelligent or super sick contemplating the things that fascinate me?

Over a period of many many years I have noticed the common occurrence of womens panties having stains in the fork and yet men don't have this problem. Does this mean men have more control over the sex glands than women, that women are far weaker than men whom they constantly criticise and point out their obscure and very few faults.
I am not a person who bites, chews or even sniffs womens thongs, strings ot even panties, I have removed many of them with one hand (and bras with two fingers) and on one occasion in a passionate embrace in the front of a car, managed to knock the vehicle out of gear and start it rolling down a hill.
Depending on the amount of social contact directly relates to the moisture in the panties. One of our nn chat room members gets off on Clint Eastwood and David Hasselhoff and I am sure her panties would be soaked at the end of an evening. So instead of the embarassment of washing saturated panties, perhaps a disposable diaper like old people wear would be the answer.
If women don't have the same control of their sexual juices as men do, then perhaps this is the answer.

to Brisbane for a wedding and will be back on Monday. I will miss every one of my friends as I won't have access to a computer
LM,LL

A young man working on a cattle property rang his boss on the cell phone, "Hey Boss, I can't move the truck, I got a pig caught in the grill of the truck and I can't move it" "Then get the rifle out from behind the drivers seat and shoot the fucking thing".
A few minutes later the kid is back on the phone, "Hey boss, I still can't move the truck, the bike with the blue flashing light is jammed under the chassis and I can't move it"
There was no reply on the other end of the phone!!

Making love is the best thing for stress, research suggests.
Scientists found that,when stressed, peoples blood pressure normalised faster if they had made love recently.
The study, reported in New Scientist, was conducted by psychologist Stuart Brody. He asked 24 women and 22 men aged 24 to record sexual activity for a fortnight.
Later they were given a stress test that involved public speaking.
Blood pressure was monitored and it was found that the blood pressure of those who had had intercourse returned to normal the quickest. Masterbation or A head jod did nothing, only full blown sex workrd.

As if we didn't know!!

kittenmm made a remark in an earlier blog re men leaving skid marks on their undies as against women who don't leave skiddies and while I was away in North Queensland, I constantly worried my feeble brain as to why? in fact when travelling those long boring miles in outback Queensland, I constantly pondered the question
I came up with a couple of theories 1) men eat less fibre than women and don't have a clean cut off. 2) Women take it anally an that pushes it back up the waste pipe 3) Men do all their thinking and planning in the toilet, so when they are yelled at for being there so long, just have a quick wipe and get out, leaving a few dags behind 4) Women have a tighter, sharper Sphincter muscle, something to do with muscles in the pelvic floor sort of region, which operates with the efficiency of a rat trap. 5) men do it on purpose so a woman can show her dedication to her lover. 6) Men couldn't care less and couldn't give a shit anyhow!!!