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stretch

Evil, dishonest, sadistic and a whole lot of fun.

62 years old
Male
8,002 views
Joined 21 years ago
Last login today

stretch's Status Updates

stretch

Whether you like it or whether you don't, that's the way The Astros do it!

2 years ago · 1 comment

NaughtyHTXCpl likes this

Raven2005

Must have been The Andromeda Strain !

2 years ago

stretch

Okay Emu.

4 years ago · 20 comments (show all)

stretch

That is just us. The entire world needs it to fix this problem. Honestly, more people than want it need to get it. Slippery slope but true.

4 years ago

EmuLater

I agree with you.

4 years ago

stretch

A good nice long slow Stretch. It is what the body needs sometimes.

4 years ago · 4 comments (show all)

Tahca, Artistic, GottaBeMe and 1 other like this

MrsTrellis

Meh

4 years ago

OldTroubador

We can't help ourselves Gotta. It's in our nature.

4 years ago

GottaBeMe likes this

stretch

If mr. zipper shows up the gang will all be accounted for.

5 years ago · 1 comment

GottaBeMe likes this

stretch

Any minute now.

5 years ago

stretch

At the risk of sounding like Rodney king....... Can't we all get along?

5 years ago · 19 comments (show all)

TopCat57 likes this

anon_a_moose69 we are ave peas in our times

5 years ago

lonelunatic in recorded human history there has been less than three hundred days peace. u got a better chance winning the loto whilst riding a shark and struck by lightning

5 years ago

stretch

How much sausage should one man have to tolerate getting shoved in his face before he becomes the xxxxxxxxx feared by any and all sausages?

5 years ago · 30 comments (show all)

happyhumper69 likes this

lip2lip I would of eatin it myself lol

5 years ago

lonelunatic as a house warming a friend slipped me some sausage, not very long but wide and rock hard. so i put the bratwurst in my freezer

5 years ago

stretch

I hope everyone notices that Ol' Uncle Stretch ain't complaining about nothing. No sir, he only says what he is supposed to. Happy happy joy joy.

6 years ago · 62 comments (show all)

steelrat60, Raven2005, Artistic and 2 others like this

stretch

Yes indeedy.

6 years ago

Artistic

nothing to see here, nope, just moooove along

6 years ago

stretch

I was just told I have violated the 3 tequila shot rule. Fuck me to tears.

7 years ago · 23 comments (show all)

DubbleStrubble Tell me somethang i doan nose

7 years ago

stretch

Got nuthin.

7 years ago

stretch

Wetter than a wet thing.

8 years ago · 15 comments (show all)

stretch

Donnie has the bestest words.

8 years ago

DubbleStrubble Bigly ..........

8 years ago

Agent_K likes this

stretch

Gentlemen, once they are spoilt it is all but over. Proceed with great caution.

8 years ago · 26 comments (show all)

stretch

You might want to drink the bleach and pour the tequila in your eyes this time.

8 years ago

EmuLater and LordRebellion like this

LordRebellion

Lmao! You're right - that might be more effective in this situation

8 years ago

EmuLater and stretch like this

stretch

Now we have photo comments deleted without the poster objecting. Fuck me to tears.

8 years ago · 6 comments (show all)

LordRebellion likes this

mrsUnderDog59

Hello stretch

xxoo..............

..........hug and kotc

8 years ago

juicy

I have the notion if you have the motion

8 years ago

stretch

Da fuq ewe sae.

8 years ago · 6 comments (show all)

theroyalcouple

whale oil beef hooked

8 years ago

Jacknjenny

sofa king clever

8 years ago

theroyalcouple likes this

stretch

So many echos...............

9 years ago · 17 comments (show all)

lynskey

load of codswallop

9 years ago

rubnserved likes this

stretch

I admit there was also some fried alligator eaten but it has never produced these type results before.

9 years ago

stretch

So... I stop off at a couple of camsites every morning just for grins. I recently saw a female who listed a fart on he pricelist. What is the value of a camfart in your books?

9 years ago · 93 comments (show all)

Agent_K likes this

DubbleStrubble I think we decided the only way of verifying a genuine camfart was by viewing the orifice during said expulsion.

9 years ago

juicy and steelrat60 like this

steelrat60

Um.... no

9 years ago

stretch

So.... I go to Mellow Mushroom for lunch to go. I forget my glasses. Not good for menu reading. Ended up with a Gourmet White. It all worked out, after I pulled the Roma tomatoes off.

9 years ago · 8 comments (show all)

DubbleStrubble I'd fold them if he shared that pizza with me!

9 years ago

stretch

Gotta order bigger pizzas.

9 years ago

stretch

She showed me her cock.

9 years ago · 29 comments (show all)

rhinostool and Hjohns like this

DubbleStrubble June 8th

9 years ago

stretch

June 8th only comes around once a decade.

9 years ago

stretch

I feel a new block coming on.............

9 years ago · 22 comments (show all)

LordRebellion

Anyways. Carry on.

9 years ago

stretch

I buy my grandkids extras so they don't run out.

9 years ago

stretch

Then she tells me she wouldn't pay 1200 quid for it........

9 years ago · 28 comments (show all)

stretch

Yet.

9 years ago

DubbleStrubble ^^^^ British for "yit".

9 years ago

stretch

Stretch missed Klark92's cam show.

9 years ago · 7 comments (show all)

jester_smiles and imnotreallyhere2 like this

imnotreallyhere2 Kirk stretches a big...NO! NO! Nurse...the brain bleach please.

9 years ago

DubbleStrubble

9 years ago

stretch

For the record... I did polish DS's knob once I found it.

9 years ago · 3 comments (show all)

Revord2 likes this

stretch

Yeah, but it did shine.

9 years ago

Revord2 Different strokes for different folks

9 years ago

stretch likes this