Lost my goat earlier this year. Then my pup died the day before thanksgiving. But my pup was old.
I have two more pups that are old as well.
One 65 lbs and the other only three lbs. The three lbs pup almost died five time in a years time. She pulled threw. She walks like an old lady and needs pampered a great deal....
Then I was blessed with a cute small breed puppy. This little angle has kept me going. My pups helped me deal with all the deaths in my family
Within a 1 1/2 years time I lost three cousins.
One was a recovering alcoholic who damaged his tummy. Because of the damage he ended up going in to shock because the ulcers were bleeding. A young girl had breast cancer. She had a rough life. Then begaining of nov my cousin had a vehicle pull out infront of him. He tebone the vechical. His leg was ripped off and he died from bleeding to death. He was on a motorcycle... All three too to young...
I still see them like it was yesterday.
I do know when my time comes... I have many loving family members to see again...
Since I lost many pets to old age, a few at a young age, a beautiful farm heaven will make.
How I miss them each day.
How crazy things are today. The spying going on through our cars gps, our phones, even our tv And tablets. I can remember a tablet was a group of papers glued together at the top.
What burns my but is our white house. They want to stick there noses into our earned money.
So many things are not their business...
.......thought we were free...
Then facebook puts one into facebook jail
when they do not llike our post.

Freedoms taken

We are loose more each day.
.

And so it begins. My daughter's ss will be stopping. I quit trying to get SSI for her because the government wanted me to place her in a psych center for three days to a week. She's 19 so when she got out she would not be the shame. The one they wanted me too, is not a good place. I have taken care of many children that have spent time their and they all will tell you it's a very bad place. Her heart and soul means more to me than the SSI money. She is special needs ißsue that she can not live in her own, or be let unattended. They joy she brings to me each day is amazing.

My BP still has issues they might do a med change. Not fun.

My BP been very high. Been working with the doctor on getting it down . Meds been increased. Not fun. But stress this year is bad.
Will not be getting SS for my daughter who is special needs because I will not put her into a psych ward for three days to a week. She is a virgin and does not understand sex. Since she is Almost 19 they would put her into the adult section. I will not put her their to be observed and tested. She would be messed up after that. I know many who have been in this center and not one said anything good about it. I never been their except to take a child to see it's mom. Or sibling who were their to visit another sibling .
In June or July her SS will stop and we will have no income ourselves until March of 2021 when I turn 60.
I can draw on my husband SS since I am widowed.
So soon the ride begins. And fun. We will have. I hope.
She means the world to me. We will be ok.
Just going to be a rough ride. But she is worth it.
Prayers we be ok.

I was invited to a pig roast
I lost a bet the night before
They made me
Lie down on table nude

As I lay
They blindfolded me
Tied my arms
Then spread my legs
Straping me down tight

There I am
Nude
The table moves
As they carried me
On a backyard stage
My pussy facing the crowd
I think

I felt a hand touch my breast
Moving slowly down
Another hand touches me
I hear cheers
He greased my hole
As he enters my ass with his hands

I screamed

I cummed
Tongue was licking me
Into my pussy it pushed
While his or her hand
Moved in and out my ass
A dick went in my mouth
I no longer can hear the crowd
Cumming again
The man moaned
He came in my mouth
I swallowed it all

Now I have more hands touching me
My back arched
As my body trumbled
Two were trying to eat my cum
Then I was untied
But I did not peek
I began to fondle others

They picked me up
Setting me down on a hard cock
In my ass he went
As he pumped hard
Cumming inside
Another inters my pussy
I moaned
Many filled my holes

This shy girl
Is now the life of the party
I asked them if
They can do this again
The group smiled
Yes

Loved hands touching me
Makes this girl wet

How do I get out of this rut I am in.
How do I feel good
When inside I am dieing.
I am so scared
Feel like no one listens
Feels like no one cares

Daughter moved an hour away
Not able to see her as much
Now my elderly father wants to move
Kentucky is where he thinking of.
Both moving in same year.
A year that is good for them
But bad for me

Things are so tight
It scares me inside
Some days I just
Just want to crawl in a hole
This year is one
How do I get out
How and when
Do I dig my way up

Right now feeling very alone
I know I am not
But dieing inside
This girl slowly is.

This country girl
So horny is she
Wet is my pussy
From looking
At all the pictures on NN
Or just my thoughts

If I had a dildo
I ride it
In broad daylight
Outdoors to boot
My face I hide
But my pussy
Spreading wide

That I share
Entry will show
How Horny
This girl is
The sun will beat down
Unless we have rain
Then a so shower will be

I ride it out doors
In the woods I live
Hard and fast
Up the ass
Til I cum for you
Showing how I shake
In delight
As the juices flow
From my pussy

Sadly
This girl
Does not own a dildo
But in my mind
I DO

So now am wet
From writing my thoughts
I ended up cumming
Thinking of you

This country girl
So horny is she
Wet is my pussy
From looking
At all the pictures on NN
Or just my thoughts

If I had a dildo
I ride it
In broad daylight
Outdoors to boot
My face I hide
But my pussy
Spreading wide

That I share
Entry will show
How Horny
This girl is
The sun will beat down
Unless we have rain
Then a so shower will be

I ride it out doors
In the woods I live
Hard and fast
Up the ass
Til I cum for you
Showing how I shake
In delight
As the juices flow
From my pussy

Sadly
This girl
Does not own a dildo
But in my mind
I DO

So now am wet
From writing my thoughts
I ended up cumming
Thinking of you

Tuesday morning is a big day. A phone interview with SS for disability on my daughter. I hope it goes well. I quess time will tell. The last two years is our only income. This year is a scary year. Still no decisions on my claim which was started Jan 30. I had to ask my husband ex-wife when they got married. She got pissed off. They had a bad marriage so she just wanted to forget it. The funny part she. Gave me the wrong date and the Wong year. They only thing she was right about was the month. I was able with luck threw research to find the right date and year plus county then state. They we're married less that I thought, which is good for me..... My marriage was very good for me. I miss him but yet I am blessed. I am loved by two men in my life. This year is still very stressful and scary for me.
My daughter is a high part of my world and will be at home with me for life and when I can not then another family member will step up. And if she can not my eldest Best friend will. My Nevers are shot this year...

Miss my chats with my friend that was homeless. He found a home in a Christain shelter where he helped out as he was able. He had seven stints put in his legs because the blood flow was not getting to his toes. I chatted with him that night. He was sore but really enjoyed his toes being warm for the first time in a long while. He got off the chat to rest . He only had 30% of his heart worked. I told him I will keep him in my prayers as he headed off to sleep.
The next day I found out he passed away in his sleep with a smile on his face.
I get so angry with California. They treat an non citizen better then an US citizen. My friend who worked hard all his life had no insurance, no home of his own, and was turned down twice for disability social security.
He died not knowing if he got his last claim. He was not able to work. He is missed.
He touched many other lives too with his kindness.
Oh did I say he served in the Marines.
Then here's me still waiting to hear on my claim. We filled January 28 of this year....
I am a widow of a vet.
This year is a tough year. Not sure how to handle things.
Being on here does help.
Thank you

Do not know what to think. Still waiting on paperwork to be done. I started the paperwork the end of January.
Not sure if it will end good or not.
Not sure what will happen this month.
At a loss with my feelings. Numb right now is my soul and heart. Not sure if I should run or just hide.
A lot of things depend on me and now I feel like I let them down.