On the way to rehearsal last Tuesday I performed a somersault, when something got caught in my bicycle spokes and I propelled myself over the handle bars and landed with a thud on the pavement on my chest! It happened in a flash! One second peddling along minding everyone elses business; the next I was sprawled on the floor feeling a fool. Another thud! The saddle bopped me on the head as the bike came to rest finally.

Thought I had at least cracked a rib, but apart from a sore pectoral muscle (which I never knew I had) and a scraped knee I'm fine. The bike came off worse but now I have a new one. Every cloud and all that....

I bought a new nice piece of equipment today, my new best friend that is now one of the family together with my new laptop that R bought me as an early birthday present, and my digi camera he bought me for Christmas, now I have a tripod to complete the ensemble of pervy picture taking gadgets. Can't wait to try it out as I do some dares for a picture dare site I belong to. R is also said he is going to upload Photoshop to my laptop soon. (sorry, is that illegal advertising?)

All my news for now.

It certainly has in England over the last couple of days. Pity I seem to have the most overlooked garden in the UK. I seem to be getting away with it. Trying to judge the angles of where the neighbours will not see me if I duck down at a certain blindspot if they just happened to be looking out of the window at the moment. The sun is up at 5am so if I'm 'up' at that time, especially on a sleepy Sunday morning, like this morning I can risk a few daring yet thrill filled shots.

For someone who likes running around naked I should prefer the Summer but I'm more of a winter person, funny that. I can't stand the bugs, especially wasps.Spiders I don't bother about although their webs annoy me.

Anyway, the next question is when to start my long overdue diet? If my pics prove anything they show I need to lose some weight. Perhaps I shall begin my diet 'tomorrow'.

Just started an intensive course on Maths. 13 weeks of hell ahead of me. Who gives a toss if fifteen girls are wearing skirts and seven boys are wearing trousers and what the ratio is of trousers to skirts! Makes no bloody sense!!

I'm really stupid when it comes to Maths, I'm a writer, a director not a number cruncher. May as well say 'If a man got on a bus at a quarter past three and the journey takes 47 minutes, what did the driver have in his sandwiches?' It's been, OMG 30 years since I was taught how to subtract one big number from another. I'd forgotten you got to carry one, add something to another to make that next number completely different and borrow from it cheat the system into it making sense. The fact is it doesn't but I HAVE to get a maths qualification or my life may never move forward.

Numbers CAN reduce a grown man to tears. Only good thing about Maths was that Archimedes ran down the street naked shouting 'Eureka!' (hope he was a looker) Oh no sorry, that's not Maths thats bloody physics! I was right, there's nothing good about maths!

The judges loved the play - through to next round and picked up two other awards as well, one for the Sound and one especially for me for the Best Original Play!!!

Currently I'm directing a play for a competitive drama Festival here in the UK. I also wrote the play and it just so happens the lead male character gets naked, albeit behind a blanket. He MUST be naked or the dynamic of the piece just doesn't work. It's a comedy-drama, not a titillating farce and he's not just naked for the sake of it, there is a point. The actor concerned is fine with it, even his family are and so are the rest of the cast. being an amateur production tongues wag and his nakedness, albeit concealed behind a blanket, has leaked ou to the wider amateur theatre community. Local jungle drums.

'I think he should wear something under it' NO
'He's not going to expose anything is he?' NO
'He is alright about doing this isn't he?' YES
'If he's behind a blanket why can't he wear something underneath?' SOD OFF, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT

So many bloody comments. When they have seen the play other interested parties, who should mind their own business, can then comment as everyone has a right to their opinion or be a critic. It's not as though, as someone else asked, 'there's no actual sex acts in the play are there?' NO! Just because he's naked he naturally going to start ejaculating over the first three rows!! People should trust the director ie ME to make these decisions and stop undermining my integrity.

The offending article:




I'll let you know how I do and whether we get any awards, go through to the next round or fall flat on our faces, or indeed if he doesn't keep hold of the blanket and it falls to the floor.

Nudity on the amateur stage - your thoughts?

Got called 'odd' in a comment yesterday, odd but cute. The odd bit cancels out the cute unfortunately. Rather oxymoronic I thought, like saying ,'What a cute puppy but it's a shame about it's two heads and prolapsed backside'.

Fear not my few true fans I shall Carry On Regardless because as I have said before I exhibit my person for one person, me and anyone else who enjoys my rather bizarrely entertaining style of pics is a bonus.

I loved and still do love the original Enid Blyton Books featuring The Famous Five and others - not because dear Enid did a great literary job and changed the forces of mankind but because when young they took you on a thrilling adventure. Now though when you read them back they are incredibly funny - downright lewd if you've got the sort of sense of humour I have. See for yourself, read them, again for such outakes as:

'Oommph!', said the bears, 'and they Oommphed all over him'
'She squealed at the thought of a cow coming'
'Bessie laughed as a Chaffinch came on her hand'


Childish and silly I know and theres many many more where they came from!

[url]http://www.feelie.co.uk/nude.htm[/url]

Had a whole raft of nasty comments just lately - they don't know me nd they don't want to know me - good job I can delete or everyone will think I am prepared to put up with it. Supposed to be fun or am I naive? No, don't answer that.

Anyway - uploaded a new voice greeting in the form of my favourite song - have a listen, no matter what mood you may be in.