Two more days, and it'll be 3 years ago, you suddenly had to leave this world. God, I really hate this time of year, so much. Everyone is all happy, and smiling. Me, I just want to crawl in a hole and cry. I want to do worse than that. But I keep breathing, for some reason. I've always hated to be alone. And since you've left, it's only gotten worse. The day I woke up and found out you had died. The entire world was all of a sudden completely different. And it wasn't different in a good way either. Everyone seemed a little colder, a little less friendly. You would think people would have had more patience with me. Givin me just a tiny bit more slack. After all,, I had just lost my mate. My world was turned upside down overnight. But instead at work, my wage was cut 65% because my production fell off. I didn't even get a day off from work. So by the end of that year I quit. I couldn't take it anymore. I instantly threw away 22 1/2 years. But it was one of the best moves I've ever done.

I remember 3 years ago today we went fishing. You caught more than I did that day. What I wouldn't give to hear those screams against that you would let loose every time you caught a fish. You really made so many things fun. When things were good. No one else could have made me happier. I just still can't wrap my head around the fact that you're gone. The thought still chokes me up.

Trying to get back into dating again is very upsetting. I think I'm about ready to get off this busy spinning planet. And just sit down and watch for awhile. I'm tired, and I just don't feel like keeping up with everyone, anymore. Finding someone else used to be important to me. Not so much anymore. Hell I've already went through the hardest part by myself, or with people who tried to destroy me, and at the very least, damn sure didn't care what I was going through, like they said they did.