Phillip wanted me to wear my short black dress and nothing under it, the way we used to go to summer parties time and ago. My breath stopped for a moment when he asked for it: he seemed so certain that it would still fit me. But because I hadn't worn it for over two years, I had some serious doubts. And really, when I tried it on after he had left, I found out my doubts were more than justified. The dress had always been tight, but now I looked like some ill-wrapped candy - not that I have turned fat, mind you, but my breasts have been larger since my pregnancy and there are still two or three kilos I haven't got rid of.

I made up my mind not to fall into a depression, but come up with a more creative idea. I tried on some of my light summer dresses and finally decided on a greenish one with little flowers, kind of moderate hippy style; it is not that short but almost transparent, and it feels very good on my skin. I also thought I might give my hair some shade of bronze again to go with the green.

In the evening I presented all this as an alternative - and it got approved.

Having one's little secrets can have some awkward consequences. I never told Phillip, for example, about Aldo and me going to that swingers club near Zuerich. I didn't want to show off with my experiences, I knew that Phillip had never been to such a place.

Let's go there together, he whispered into my ear the other night, and see what goes on. Where would you suggest? I whispered back, a little anxious that it would be the club where someone might still remember me, but what he mentioned was somewhere totally different. what about Wednesday? he asked (in a whisper); this is the day when we usually have our regular babysitter.

Okiedokie - and what would like me to wear?

There was so much time to talk to Phillip during our holidays. For longer periods than usually he didn't think of his job and how to fill the next few pages he is responsible for, but he could set his mind on us. Next to topics like our future, Alpinita's education or our housing situation abroad, we also talked a lot about ourselves and our sexual wishes and desires.

This is not always such an easy topic for me, because some aspects can be quite hurtful - in spite of me trying to be as open as I can. Phillip's nature is not monogamous, I have always known this; he is very attractive to women, so he is never far from, as he likes to call it, a random fuck. This does little afflict his feelings, I know, it's like tasting some now food for him - what is between the two of us, he says, is so indefinitely more important and different from having a fuck when one offers itself, a strong bond that means very, very much too him. And I believe him, because I feel the same.

Many of his wilder fantasies include me - I have known this before. I promised him I would go along with him, provided I could always say stop when I felt like it and he looked after me well. We might be a lot more adventurous than lately, and I wonder what will come first.

I read in a survey lately that three minutes was too short for sex, but seven to nine minutes was perfect, and everything over 13 minutes plain boring. I first thought they had only asked men, because of their sometimes doubtful standing power, but now I have found out that they might also have questioned travelling couples with little children.

A hotel in Helsingoer, Denmark, with an indoor pool and a jacuzzi overlooking the sea and Kronborg, Hamlet's Castle. Sitting there and looking out, overcome by so much beauty, holding Phillip's hard cock in my right hand and feeling his left middle finger inside me. Pure holiday feeling - one of the best in the past 19 days.

Only three more days and we are leaving for our holidays. Phillip is working day and night so that all his jobs are done before we can go, and I am supposed to pack the suitcases and get the house ready. As we travel by car, this should not be a big problem as there is enough room. I also bought a new de-luxe seat for the Little One, so that she can travel comfortably, too. Angelika will not come along, she is looking after the house while Helene is away.

In between, I am enjoying our pool as the water is 27°C. Soon I need to put in some ice to cool it like my drinks. Yesterday while shopping I met a very nice woman of about my age, and we took to each other instantly and had coffee together. She is a housewife like me and has lots of time - we are going to meet when we are back, I have invited her to our house.

Now I have to do an article for the newspaper of my former school in Vorarlberg. They have asked me to write about my drama projects in the last few years; there seems to be another one soon, which they want to advertise, and they are trying to find out how this was usually done. Well, they can have it.

I was mowing the lawn yesterday afternoon around 5 o'clock, when the heat was less intense and couldn't singe the freshly cut grass. All I was wearing was a straw hat and leather boots, because I am always afraid of cutting off my toes.

Phillip thought I could easily make a business of this ("Alpina Shows as she Mows" and earn really good money. He took a picture, which - unfortunately - I cannot show. So use your imagination, guys ...

... yes, that's about what it might have looked like.

The sun shone into our bedroom
already at 6am,
and painted reddish patterns
on the wall.
It was the only witness of my orgasm
and listened to my moans.
Look at the sun today -
you will see something
which has seen something.

- now I have tan lines, which I hate.
I didn't take my wrist-watch off.

Another day like this - over 30°C are expected, which is a lot here. All is quiet in the house. I was just swimming and I am now sitting here in my usual, black panties and looking through the window. I miss the mountains I can see from my Vorarlberg windows. Here it's the neighbouring house and beyond the forest. I'll be outside a lot today. I'll put on my sunblock later, I promise.