It was like in the old times. I know it's unfair to be glad about the misery of our fellow creatures, but I was not unhappy at all that Kueken said she didn't feel well and stayed in her room all evening yesterday. So I had my friends all to myself and I admit I enjoyed it thoroughly. They made me sit between them in the jacuzzi and they were very sweet to me, and we were very close, also physically.

Some of you were right in thinking that maybe Elsie's attitude towards Joerg's contacts with me might have changed because of their experience with a third in their bed. So there is a problem I will have to come to terms with sooner or later: the quiet eroticism which we enjoyed before does not seem enough for Joerg nowadays - he has got used to bigger helpings, and as Elsie does not mind any longer and seems to have overcome any feelings of jealousy, he is openly expecting me to have sex with him - or with them, to be exact. We didn't yesterday, but I will seriously have to think about it.

So when we were sitting on their big bed all in the nude like yesteryear, and drinking our customary full-bodied Italian red, it was just Elsie he could further develop his desire for, and like in old times, her head was resting in my lap and I gently tousled her hair while Joerg made love to her. Oh friendship - there is nothing better.

My dear friends and readers, it's so nice of you to have reacted to my attempt of seeing if there is still anybody out there who enjoys reading my blog. I thought if there were 10 people, I would go on - and now there were 11 - 7 comments and 4 very nice private messages. Thank you very much for doing this to me and I promise to try to be more social in the future and write more comments and answer messages in due time. I must admit I would have missed writing here, it has become part of me so much anyway that I sometimes dream in English - even without German subtitles.

Tonight I'll go over to Elsie and Joerg - they have invited me to a meal and jacuzzi, and I have accepted. But before I must go shopping: some of my students, who will begin with their finals in ten days already, are having their last lessons with me tomorrow. They asked me to have a big breakfast together in the class room and I have promised to bring along all the things we need for it. So I'll get them after today's lessons and carry them back to school. Maybe I can take a trolly along from the shop.

First it seems that school will never end - and then suddenly time begins to race and it's over before you expect it. For years they thought that school was a bore, and now they already miss it before they have left. There are quite many among them who have been in my drama project, so they mean more to me than other classes, and of course I was their form teacher for four years.

Sometimes I envy them for being able to leave and I will stay - while the world is opening up to them, it seems to me that my world is getting smaller by the year.

I am not a premium member anymore, and I wonder what to do. Is it worth paying the sum again and go on writing my little texts here? After I have told almost all I can possibly tell? After it has become only too evident that also my life is nothing but a series of always the same: sleep, food, work, friendship, fun and sex. Sometimes a little more, and sometimes less. I think that when living such a life has so many tedious moments, how much worse must it be to read about them.

And there are only a few people who I actually recognize among my readers: depotguy, faithfully writing comments so that this place does not look too deserted. I love you for that. There are also a precious number of friends who send me a private message now and then - and one who is particularly close to my heart and does this almost daily and so much helps me understand myself.

I must admit that I am certainly responsible myself for my gradual feeling of isolation, because I do not behave very social myself. I hardly ever write comments, or look at people's nude pics or videos, I have stopped writing in the forum and my last erotic story must be a year old. I log into NN, read my messages and comments, and then write my next text.

It's writing these texts, however, which has really pleased me a lot and given me satisfaction. One main reason is that I have been writing them in a foreign language. You would maybe be surprised if you heard my Austrian dialect - I really sound like someone you only know from a documentary about life in the Alps: the girl on the green meadow with the cows, the funny local clothes and the plaited hair in front of the snow topped mountains in the background - that's me. Being able to communicate in English gives me a good feeling and the praise for it which I sometimes received made me very proud.

So if you happen to be one of my readers, give me a sign: a message or a comment of yours (even without words) would be thumbs up, and it would help me decide.

I waited until about three p.m. and then I phoned Aldo. I told him I had a problem because I didn't know how to get home after the concert and if he could not give me a lift in his car. It really took place some 40 km away, but there were parents of students who could have taken me along. So it was a weak excuse and Aldo must have felt it. But he agreed, and on the way back we stopped at an Italian restaurant and had some delicious pasta and wine, and then we went to my house and did it.

I have mentioned before how wonderfully he is endowed and how good he is. And how nice he is and how much he takes care that I get what I lack so desperately. I think a man like he could be conceated and arrogant because his Maker has provided him with the heavenly gift of being able to cum at exactly the moment he wants to cum - and not a moment sooner or later. But he isn't at all.

And so he made me feel him the way only he can do it, and I knew he would make me whole again. And he did - and made me squirm, and shiver, and moan, and shout - he took me over the top and let me go, only to take me even further and higher. And only when he saw that I was lying there totally spent, he did his thing: kneeling above me, between my spread legs, rolling off his condom and cumming all over me with a roar - over my tummy and my breasts and my face and into my hair. Then he sat beside me and gently rubbed his cum into my skin. Soon after we must have fallen asleep; this morning we had breafast together and then he left again. If our heart was in it and not only our bodies - he would be perfect.

The concert, by the way, was lovely and the big audience really enchanted and excited.

It's raining and the clouds are hanging low over the mountains. I was already shopping, but I didn't meet anyone interesting. The streets were half empty, maybe because people prefer to stay inside as they are not used to the cold anymore. I don't know if I don't have to light a fire later today.

Although I was alreday in town I feel caged in my house, and restless. I have worked a lot this week, and I have practised for my choir concert tonight and tomorrow night, but I have not really much interacted with people. There was no jaccuzi with my friends and I have not met Timo, who is working at some important TV project and hasn't been around much lately anyway. I'm craving for a good conversation, for some togetherness, and yes - I know you have guessed - some good sex. I can hardly remember when it was last time (I can of course: I was with the Editor, but already ages ago. Ok: 10 days ago. 10 unbearably long days, if you ask me).

I have thought of phoning Aldo, but he is not much into classical music and I cannot just send him away when the deed is done. So you find your friend Alpina in a precarious and fairly unprecedented situation: desperately unknowing who to approach to help her find what she desperately needs ...

It seems that the weather is going to change and I have to put some other things over my panties again when moving around at home. Oh, how much I have already got used to the warm temperatures and fresh air on my skin, and swimming daily. I hope May won't bring too many cold days.

What else will May bring? Particularly my birthday, although I am not really in a hurry with that. I would not mind if it only returned every second year, for example. It's my 39th, and I have now decided to keep it this way. LOL. Honestly, thinking of 40 makes me a little uneasy - I have the idea one should have achieved something in life until that age, and there is so much I have not. In addition to that I fear that some doors in life are gradually closing, particuarly that to having a family with children. 39 might mean that there are decisions in the air which have to be made before 40.

Age itself does not really worry me - look at Kylie Minogue. She is my age and still looks quite cute, doesn't she? And so do other well-known celebrities. Isn't one as old as one feels, though?

Presently I am looking at a very nice, old-fashioned bouquet of red roses which were brought to me by a messenger. They are from the Editor as "one little way of thanking me for his bliss". So it leaves me wondering what the others are, if this is what he wants to hint at. The roses smell wonderful, and I so much like flowers.

Most people have used Labour Day for a walk in the sunshine, or they even went swimming at a lake, or at least sunbathing. Some used it to riot: to smash up cars and shop windows and to fight the police. Relatively few cared for the relevant topics, like for example the fact that wages do not increase even if the economy booms or that more and more people become working poor who need social benefits even if they have a full time job, while the management use their companies in a self service manner to pay themselves and their families and friends million euro salaries.

Or that more and more products are manufactured by Chinese workers who have bad pay, bad working conditions, bad environmental situations, dangerous workplaces and hardly any human rights. It has become evident that Austrian managers admire such conditions and find it a pity that the social situation here is different. By this they show that by definition their atttitude is undemocratic. It's the price we pay for globalization: of interest is on the one hand the cheapest labour and on the other hand the highest profits. So while some are abominably poor, others become indecently rich, and for this they are even ready to start wars and make the poor people believe it's in their own interest - and of course make them fight them.

This is my little Labour Day sermon. Don't think I am a leftist and want to change the world. It's enough for me when you agree with my diagnosis. Then we can be cynics together who know that the world is like this - but the weather is so lovely and let's go for a walk. Or even better: let's make love, and then we can forget everything.

I have just noticed that my premium memebership will run out in a week and I am wondering what to do. Can I be without the ability of correcting mistakes in my blog? I still like writing it although I sometimes feel a little old: I have survived so many dear friends in here who have gone from us - that's maybe the way you feel in the elderly people's home when you look at your world.

Tomorrow is the first of May, which is Labour Day and some kind of a public holiday. There have been no lessons on that day for years, and this will also be like this tomorrow - for the students, while our Headmaster has decreed another further education day for the staff with the veeeeery attractive topic: the language of science papers. Maybe I can suggest a topic for next time and volonteer to organize it: how to write an erotic blog.

The lovely weather is going on although the farmers start complaining about the drought. There is still enough water in the rivers and lakes because presently the snow on the mountain is melting. I spontaneously invited my neighbours to dinner, and they were very pleased, and little Oliver very much enjoyed paddling around in my pool. This week I will sing a lot, because next weekend will be the concert - so there is always something to keep me busy.

Today I have to mark essays all day, but when I can do it outside under the apple tree in the half shadow and skinnydip now and then, work is not so hard and troublesome.

Our little party yesterday evening was quite nice - almost like in the olden days. There was a variety of meat for the barbecue, veggies, lettuce and home made potato salad, and enough Italian wine for twice the number of people. First we drank to the new season and then swam and frolicked in the pool, before we sat in the sun and enjoyed the drinks and food. I love the way most of my friends move naked without any inhibitions and just feel at ease in this natural state. It's something I know from my parents - already they did it that way with their friends, so that I sometimes didn't recognize them when I met them fully dressed in town.

Yet it's not always quite easy for woman like Elsie and me when someone young like Kueken is around. While Elsie and I have given in to gravity a lot, her body is just perfect and firm, although she is slim, she is not thin at all, but perfectly rounded like a fresh, rosy apple. She was quite in the center of attention yesterday, and she was very funny and made us laugh a lot.
She is really very dear to Elsie and Joerg, and seems to brighten up their lives a lot. Having no children of their own and not even a pet, it seems she gives them a common aim and some kind of new identity, she is spicing up their marital life and enriches their sexuality a lot. Now and then she brings in guys she knows from her sports activities, and this gives Elsie the chance to practise her awakened sensuality on someone new without having to do it behind Joerg's back.

Last night, beside us touching now and then more the way friends do, there was not much physical contact, and when it got colder and dew was settling on the grass, we parted in good spirits and they went home.

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