Just finished watching the movie "ATL" and there was a poem in the movie I liked, so I thought I would share...hope you enjoy

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Pleasure turns to the pain of lessons learned from the strain of the questions burned in my brain about whether love is humane in its touch
These thoughts are like salmon swimming upstream in the tears of your deceit
Fighting a current hurt that kills more than is created by the chaos of our intertwined emotions
Chaotic because the anchor of Eros’ arrow has been plucked from the vessel of my undying infatuation
Separation not as simple as the distance between us
My mind no longer possessed by the demons that had been the overseers of my enslavement to your lies
The seeds of these lies rooted so deeply they’ve cracked the foundation of what we once shared
Allowing the faith in us I had sealed inside to gush out like a river
Ripping the image of our future together from my thoughts as violently and as brutally as if it were a child being taken from its mothers arms
I’m left surrounded in darkness but I refuse to be swallowed by it
My loneliness like night air; invisible to the eye obvious to the touch, in its cold uncomfortable ness
Yet If I could do all over again I’d do it in the same skin I’m in
To lay down and let love die, just stay down and let love lie
No, no, no, no, not I
I’ll stay around and let love fly
Even though I’ve seen its darkest form; deceit
Nothing else could tastes this warm or feel this sweet...

Just finished this poem...I actually started it after my last breakup 3 years ago...

"How Many Times"

How many times will I walk the same road?

How many times will I bear this same load?

How many times will you tell the same lie?

How many times will I tell you goodbye?

How many times will I come running back?

How many times before I finally crack?

How many times will you watch me cry?

How many times will you bleed me dry?

How many times will my heart have to break?

How many times before there's nothing left to take?

How many times until you do walk away?

How many times will I ask you to stay?

How many times before I open my eyes?

How many times until my love finally dies?

Here's one of the first poems I wrote. I was a 10 year old kid and I watched a documentary about a terminal cancer patient and all the things they had to endure during his final weeks. That is what inspired this poem...

death is coming
death is near
and i am told
not to fear
not an ending
start anew
they told me lies
but i knew
pain is growing
i am weak
cancer worsens
life is bleak
so now i sit
face my fate
they comfort me
but too late
death is coming
death is near
death is coming
death is here

My eyes are open
Though I'm not awake
My heart races
With each breath I take
I hear your voice
Calling out to me
I feel your touch
And it sets me free
My body aches
And my knees go weak
My mouth opens
But I do not speak
I taste your lips
As they're pressed to mine
So much sweeter
Than the finest wine
You pull me in
And you make me whole
In this moment
I will bear my soul
My body melts
As you hold me near
I give you all
With no trace of fear
But then I wake
And the thought sinks in
It's just a dream
What a fool i've been
To think at all
That I had a chance
To find this thing
That they call romance...

Okay, so I figured I would share some more of my poetry. I picked out 2 this time that were actually written within in a 2yr span of each other, about 13 years ago, and are about the same person. Sort of a before & after I guess...

"The Secret I Keep"

a low whispered word, a slight fleeting glance
if only you knew, would i have a chance

friends for all time is what we will be
but now i've realized you mean much more to me

i wish i could speak those thoughts hid so deep
but still cautious am i, so the secret i keep

my heart yearns to tell of a love ever true
and all that i want is to share it with you

so from that day when i open my heart
i pray to god that we'll never part

the love we will share will be ever so pure
and last throughout time, of this i am sure



"I Loved Too Late"

love...
just a word or something more
because of it i am tore
'tween what i want and what is right
for it's you i think of every night
when the moon and stars arise
and i finally close my eyes
to sleep and dream of you again
i fight a battle i cannot win
in my heart the love i feel
i know is definitely real
i want to have you here with me
but what i want can never be
so from day to day i will live on
wishing somehow you were not gone
and this fantasy it will not end
that you were more than just a friend...

Okay so many of you know I like to write, so I figured it was time to share some of my poetry...

I'll start off with one that I wrote not long ago. My best friend came to me and told me that he wanted to propose to his girlfriend with a poem, and asked me if I could write something out for him. Well, I did and I'm glad to say that she said yes...anyways, on to the poem...


So long I've walked alone on
this lonely road called life
no family to call my own
no one to call my wife

but then one day you came along
i didnt have a clue
I'd find this thing called happiness
I owe it all to you

You picked me up when I was down
you wiped away the tears
When i was at my lowest
You chased away my fears

you give me strength to stand up tall
and be a better man
you came along and changed me
in a way no other can

So now i sit and write these words
to tell you how i feel
the love i feel inside my heart
is definitely real

I want to spend the life i have
beside you every day
and prove to you how much i care
in every single way

You have my heart, my mind, my soul
My body, and my life
And one day in the future
I hope you'll be my wife...

Okay so here goes, my first blog post. I kinda expected my first one to be kinda fun and flirty. This, however, will not be the case. It's not a fun, flirty, or sexy topic. It's just a real look inside my mind, some of my thoughts and feelings. It's definitely not gonna make me look cool, or funny. I just hope that it gives someone a little bit better understanding of me and others. So for those of you brave enough or interested enough to keep reading, I thank you. And for those of you who choose not to, I completely understand. So with that out of the way, here goes...

I was scrolling through status today, and found one that happened to trigger me to write this blog. I won't mention the post itself, but some of you may have read it. It had to do with people, and how some of them seemed to be constantly looking for attention. Now let me start off by saying this, I agree that there are people out there that seek attention just because they like the attention. However, that is not ALWAYS the case when someone is seeking attention.

This is where it gets real. I suffer from depression and anxiety. Now while most times I can function perfectly normal, there are stretches where i'm scared to step out of my front door, to deal with the real world. Other times I'm too depressed to. Sometimes it can be as short as a day or two, but there are times it can get longer. During these times it can get lonely for someone dealing with this. And social media sites as a whole, do provide a chance to interact with people from the safety of your own home. Sometimes its the only interaction that we can get. So yeah, we may come off as attention seeking, but we are NO different than anyone else. Everybody feels the need to interact, to be part of something, and to feel wanted. For some of us, that is through Social Media. I do have my friends and family that I interact with, but I can't expect them to always come to me when I'm having a bad week. So that is when I turn to the aquaintances I make on sites like NN. You are the ones that provide the friendship and interaction that I need, when I need it.

I have met alot of interesting people here, and consider many of you friends. I am thankful to have you, and although I haven't had to yet, I hope if and when it comes to one of my bad times...that I will have a place to come and feel wanted, and needed. That I matter. That being said, I love ya all!

I guess what I'm trying to say is, take the time to get to know someone before you automatically judge or label them, in any situation. Not all of us are Attention Seekers for the fun of it. If we all took a little more time to really know people, there would be a lot less anger, hate, and ignorance.

So yeah, there it is, my first blog. If I upset anyone, I'm sorry.....

And since I'm on the topic of depression, I thought I'd share this video with all of you. It's from one of my favorite bands, and is a song and video I connect very closely with...