This is flippin' brilliant.

Don't blame me if it's inside your head all day.

[url]http://tiny.cc/r5z3c[/url]

I agree there should be a limit on blogs. The Freedom To Post Drivel Act (1995) is a privilege, but it shouldn't be abused.

I suggest the number should be equivalent to the number of times you can masturbate in a 24 hour period.


I might manage double figures when I get me new pills.

The Irish have the gift of the gab.

Now frankys a dole bludger I thought I'd give some advice on the phone sex business. Anybody can follow this straightforward advice.


First of all, you need to put on a deep, husky voice.


Think Lauren Bacall or Mrs Slocombe - pussy stroker extraordinaire - from Are You Being Served?


You've got the voice, now the chat.


"Hello there, big boy"


"I'm wearing crotchless jodphurs and stroking my whip today"


"You like my whip. Don't you big boy?"


Pause for heavy breathing.


"Now...pull down your zip verrrry slowly and give Percy some air."


"Hold tight, big boy."


More heavy breathing.


"Rub-a-dub-dub, big boy. Rub-a-dub-dub."


Pause for some moaning and sighing. Imagine Mrs Slocombe stroking her wet pussy after it's had a bath.


"Is your banger ready to go off, big boy?"


"Let me play you some sexy music to fix it."


[url]http://tiny.cc/rl652[/url]

Used to be when you liked something you said it was good.

Then it was bad.

That's baaaaad.

Now it's sick.

Pronounced siiiiick.


Siiiiick chune, bruv. Girl is well peng.


[url]http://tiny.cc/qroay[/url]

I've been offered a job in Greece. Only problem was they expected me to fly over there, but I'm always trying to do my bit for the environment, so I've insisted I travel by boat. Gotta have principles, haven't you?





Should be interesting working at a tyre incineration plant.

Gimp suit for sale. Minimum bid 15 Euros.


Crotch padlock slightly rusty due to unforseeable leakage.


Free cum stained jockstrap included in the price. (Unwanted gift).

Things your SatNav will never say.



Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?



I TOLD you to go toilet before we set off!



Turn right for a great dogging site.



Hang on...I've got the map upside down.



Did you turn the gas off? Did you lock the back door? We'll have to go back. We'll have to go back.



Get out luv and let your husband do the parking.




Where the fuck are we?

David Bowie's not happy with you. Not happy at all.

Got a bit bored yesterday so I started to write a novel.


Just as in the clock the result of the complex action of innumerable wheels and pulleys is merely the slow and regular movement of the hand marking the time, so the result of all the complex human activities of these 2,378,014 NN'ers - of all their passions, hopes, regrets, humiliations, sufferings, outbursts of pride, fear and enthusiasm - was only the loss of the battle of Austerlitz, the battle of the three Emperors, as it was called; that is to say, a slow movement of the hand on the dick of human history.


Gazing into Napoleon's eyes, Prince Andrei mused on the unimportance of dick size, the unimportance of dick size which no one could understand, and the still greater unimportance of dick size, the meaning of which no one alive could understand or explain.


Ain't exactly War & Peace but not bad, eh?