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I am a walking contradiction skirting jurisdictions while self-implementing restrictions. I am a melancholy free spirit afraid sometimes to sing my own lyrics. I am child with old eyes and past lives striving to do more than survive. I am a silly, nostalgic, horny, romantic with naive antics. I am not afraid to break the rules of being cool or getting schooled. I am the color of earth, often misunderstood since birth. A chain smoker and late night toker, an ego stroker, sensitive joker and occasional chicken choker. I am as deep as you will allow yourself to wade in. I am my mother's creation, my father determination, the wages of so called sin and the scars left after being stabbed in the back or forgotten by a friend. I am the shy shiver of of an endless giver whose cheeks are moist and quiver from tears shed alone. I am heavy in heart and weight but free of prejudice and hate. I am a meandering soul searching to become whole while traveling in a caterpillar-like form. Not seeking shelter with the norm but weathering the storms that will come and pass with the perfectly imperfect fumbling we call existence. shaking off the shackles of pretense while understanding experience is neither good nor bad, more or less until the next time you can put it to its test. And if it is in the case to give someone an open hand I willing give it until my time's last grain of sand rests upon the cosmic strand. Our reality is within our hands
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| Friday, August 3, 2007, 1:31:11 AM- How Does it Feel | ||||||
Why is the sky so blue, With the sun in its ever loving embrace, Shining with all its fiery heart, The dreams of the sky, what we call clouds, Whisper what is withheld from me and you, Floating in a presence of their own time in place, Dreams that grow heavy with emotion they depart, Rain like tears fall, what else can they do, Burdened by a feeling as old as creation, How does it feel, to know someone whispers your name, Calls a song your song and hums it to themselves, How does it feel to be face to face, Both welcome in each others personal space, How does it feel to hold someone in your arms, And feel them relax, knowing beside you they are beyond harm, Tell me how does it feel to wake up in the morning with a smile, Each day brand new like the visions of a child, I crave to know yearn in my soul how your skin feels next to mine, To see after a generous kiss how your lips part and shine, How does your hair feel running through my fingers, How does the moment feel after our planets collide lingers, How does it feel to go to sleep to the sound of you breath, After making love tell nothing of our individuality is left, How does it feel to walk that thin entwining rope between pleasure and pain, Exhausted, sweaty, rejuvenated, left upon our flesh and souls welcome stains, How does it feel to look you in the eyes without fear or shame, How does it feel to share our secret names, I want to know, so badly I taste it, would save it not to waste it, Dream and hold it in until I am busting at the seams, How does it feel for the loneliness to cease, How does it feel to die in your arms, and feel that final peace. | ||||||
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| Monday, July 30, 2007, 5:47:00 AM- Living For | ||
Do you remember your childhood dreams, What you wanted seemed to be a need, Some things came true, and others went by, Forgotten with the passing of time, The best friend puppy, a trip to the moon, A signature pair of shoes that made you swoon, Maybe a better lot in life, richer or thin, Maybe a wish to be popular with a throng of friends, Never have I felt like this before, Sensations wash over me like waves do shores, Emotion bursting through my heart's door, Burrowing deep down into my soul's core, Replacing all the desires I once stored, To love you is what I'm living for, Somewhere back in the reaches of my mind, Back to the beginnings, the universal binds, A spark of energy manifested coming to be, An unknown notion residing inside of me, Laying dormant, on the edges of thought, It silently carried me through onslaughts, One day awakening when I least imagined or sought, The true meaning of life to me it has taught, I'm living for coming home to you, Living for listening to your whole day through, Living for becoming your romantic fantasy, Living for holding your secrets and dreams, Living for the opportunity to make you complete, Living for waking up every morning to your smile, Living for loving you for quite a long, long while. You are what I'm living for, I wouldn't want for anything more | ||
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| Monday, July 30, 2007, 5:44:27 AM- Last Dance | ||
Here I am again, to my chagrin, Facing a road away from my friends, Past being shy, lies and alibis, Heading beyond the clouds in the sky, This under taking has me shaking, Praying no hearts are breaking, Whether I return to earth or an urn, Bury or scatter me, I lose nothing I learned, I'll carry love and laughter into the hereafter, You helped me raise above gilded rafters, Holding you tight felt so good and right, And here you are holding me this twilight, All those years you were the one I feared, Afraid to be loved by you held tender & dear, Running away shunning the joy that is you, Stunning isn't it, the foolish things we do, On the way stumbling and fumbling, While straight ahead into love I went tumbling, Why is it we always fight and resist, The home at the end of the earth for which we always wished, And now the rhyme is running out of time, I am condemning my own silly crime, Understand I won't pass this chance, For us to share one last dance | ||
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| Monday, July 30, 2007, 5:40:27 AM- Labels | ||
I'm so tired of so easy-to-slip-into fables, Uncomfortable with designer labels, Posers with eye brows and pierced navels, I just want to over-turn the tables, If you got a permanent tan, You ought to be an angry black man, Have baby's mommas and ghetto bullshit drama, If your body's built thick you can't be athletic, if you're ambivalent you must be apathetic, You guessed it I'm angry of that facial slap, The constant consensus crap, That tends to land us all in traps, Stupid racial divides which so many subconsciously abide, Clothes and tattoos become status symbols and not individual pride, We even have to perfect our walking stride, It seems as backwards to me and some what dastardly that money makes sense, The meaning of substance is past tense, If you listen to most music now you hear something missing, Don't play a game, Don't where clothes because of a name, Don't hide your music tastes out of feared shame, If we don't like how shit is we only have ourselves to blame, And if you cool with how it all is then keep doing shit the same. | ||
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| Wednesday, July 25, 2007, 4:52:09 AM- Every Winner Has Known A Loss Or Two | ||||||
Every winner was a beginner, Every saint started out a sinner, We all stumble some point in our days, We all tumble in and out of frays, All of us who have gone on to succeed, All have our shares of scraped knees, Bruised egos come with the territory, Every life has a dark chapter in the story, Sometimes I think about love and friends, What it took for the friendship to begin, The starting fear opening to ups and downs, What do you do when you no longer have common ground, Losing the love of a friend is a hard thing, Makes you feel like you have no reason to sing, But the pain won't last, you won't forever be blue, Yes you never forget there face it's true, Better to have loved and lost, believe it I do, Every winner has known a loss or two | ||||||
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| Monday, July 23, 2007, 4:11:29 AM- Weightless | ||
Traversing a dimension of apprehension in spiritual suspension A ghost among the living Trying to be an endless vessel of creativity and positivity No one wants what I'm giving Thunderous emotions; exclamations of devotion fall on deaf ears Concerns of being spurned turned to fears that won't disappear Salty tears rake over wounds from over the years, The hottest showers cannot seem to devour the rank stench of abuse from the past I'm trying to out last Gazing afar at an unassuming human star Pushing against invisible bars He knows I exist, seen me through a hazy mist but I am not high on his A list An open hand becomes a slap or punching fist I am a wandering ghost, free of his host, thirsty because I cannot participate in any toast Somewhere trapped in limbo, baseless, shapeless, faceless, weightless | ||
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| Monday, July 23, 2007, 3:42:51 AM- Something new (finally) I don't know a name for it, someone name it for me pleae | ||||||
Starting off gravity bound, Alone in a place time hasnt found, Only thoughts between you and me, My mind running wild what do you see, Soon the world that binds disappears, Your smile, your eyes your hand in mine, Te closeness of your body so divine, You are the key, I am releasing my fears, To a sacred place, we ascend, What you're making me feel, So might fine and real, I can't try to pretend, Touching me with thoughts and skin, Communicating with me without and within, My ever marching erotic procession, You make your one true obsession, My eyes and other places flutter like wings, I am delirious from the sensations you cause, You keep on ferociously loving me, with no pause, I squirm as if to get away from your love making, Open me, explore me, discover me, fill me, Send me beyond where I have before seen, Move me and soothe me until I cannot walk or speak, Give me the freedom in your possession I seek. | ||||||
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| Friday, July 20, 2007, 10:09:40 AM- Gravity | ||
I am a wraith who's inner faith provides sustenance to journey through this manufactured existence, fractured by self-important actors nether understanding nor commanding respect, Intellect is more than books and snooty looks, used by the superficial and artificial mavens who find a haven in their brazen judicial ridicule. I do not need a class, or hall pass to enter through the annals and canals of knowledge. Some say I have an edge, But all it is only a self-made pledge to not accept the devious mind traps that wrap simple minds, Confine blossoming souls into a killing hold that fees off of pity and woe . I could list all that I am not, All that I ain't got, But to say everything I possess would take no less than a millennium to make clear the atmosphere my world has here. Here where weeds of fear are pulled out, Where I kick away stumbling stones of needs for clout or to shout, spout rhetoric and claim to be a demagogue of rhetoric. To be specific I do not need to be prolific in what I provide, Find no desire in being idolized, Theorized or prioritized but simply prized by real friends who have seen and gleaned I was not weaned to prance and preen like some show dog or be a herd following cog, but a wandering child of creation finding elation having left the fog of desolate bogs to move to become my best, manifest divine humility as I encounter each of life's tests. I am not an athlete, I don't sit in a C.E.O.'s gilded and thousand dollar seat, I don't seek to compete for some imagined trophy to validate me. I am emotion, thought, that became breath, word & action which all meshed into flesh. I am physically limited but spiritually permitted to pass the bounds of ignorance and distance myself by shedding the embedding notion of natural and artificial gravity that keeps many down | ||
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| Friday, July 20, 2007, 9:52:59 AM- Fireflies | ||||||
Hey it’s Starr, Please give me your attention, Step inside my dimension, Where passion is abundant, And romance is never redundant, I'm here to satisfy your every want, To make you bed sheets rumpled and wet, Do delicious things you won't forget, Take my hand nod your head, I'm going to have you gone before you even look at a bed. They seem unnoticeable, Can't cause any trouble, Tiny sparks of feelings, Make you wonder are they real things, Suddenly your breathing, Can become a rapid heaving, As little sparks become a blaze, Leaving you in a sultry haze, And then you recognize, You've fallen victim to fireflies, I can recall just two months before fall, The impression you left wasn't small at all, Never in my days, had I felt such a way, What can I say, back to you my mind always strayed, An overwhelming tingling feeling, sends me reeling, A silky fluttering, with which I'm barely dealing, If I were at liberty, as the clouds overhead we see, I would tell you quickly what you do to me, Darling you ignite a sensation I cannot fight, Fantasize holding you tight, within my mind's fond sight, Emotion sweeping me, I can barely stop from keeping, Into everything warmth seeping, my soul joyfully weeping, MY body a warm cocoon, vibrating my adoration's tune, This love will escape soon, flourish like flowers in June, What will emerge from inside, Won't have a hint of pride, A beautiful loving being, casting aside the need to hide, Fireflies, Fluttering deep inside, I can't continue to hide, You give me Fireflies, Such a welcome surprise, Oh how you tantalize, Can your heart surmise, You give me Fireflies | ||||||
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| Wednesday, July 18, 2007, 6:08:54 AM- The Ways of Time | ||||||
We were once the summer, young and alive, A wonderland of expression thrived, Warm breath and eyes sparkling like the sun, Humidity in the air, waiting to come undone, Sparks of passionate electricity, Tell me, tell me, you didn’t feel the chemistry, An elixir born into our souls, When we were together it took control, A force of nature, a season a reason not denied, But somewhere along the way for you it died, What once couldn’t be held at bay, Has silently crept away, Now I am watching our tapestry fray, Seeing the end of our summer days, I heard the whisper of the wind, Like some old familiar friend, Saw the leaves begin to change, The feeling was quite strange, The splendor of life at its high light, Signaling an end with is within sight, Even though it was right before my eyes, I still didn’t notice you trying to saying goodbye, Showing me the colors I was blind to see, Now you’ve packed them away, they are no longer meant for me, What changed is this just the way of time. You loving me taken for a granted, such a silly crime, I feel like some barren tree’s last solitary leaf, Trembling with a tenuous grip, caught within grief, The winter is coming near, The cold I always feared, Some say a justified part of the tale, Like ships arrive and set sail, Hearts will migrate for fairer skies, With or without beautiful alibis, With or without reasons to argue and fight, No matter how we hold the summer tight, Summer, love, everything will take flight. | ||||||
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