It takes 7 seconds for Food to pass from Mouth to Stomach.
A Human Hair can hold 3kg.
The length of the Penis is three times the length of the Thumb. The Femur is as hard as Concrete. A Woman's Heart beats faster than a Man's. Women Blink twice as much as Men.We use 300 Muscles just to keep our Balance when we Stand.

The Woman has Read this entire Text....The MAN is still looking at his THUMB......

It can Buy you a Bed - but not Sleep.
It can Buy you a Clock - but not Time.
It can Buy you a Book - but not Knowledge.
It can Buy you a Position - but not Respect.
It can Buy you Medicine - but not Health.
It can Buy you Blood - but not Life.
It can Buy you Sex - but not Love.

So you see Money isn't Everything,and it often causes Pain and Suffering. I tell you all this because I am your Friend, and as your Friend I want to take away all your Pain and Suffering....

SO SEND ME ALL YOUR MONEY AND I WILL SUFFER FOR YOU!!!!

Sometimes we make Love with our EYES.
Sometimes we make Love with our HANDS.
Sometimes we make Love with our BODY's.
Always we make love with our HEARTS!!!.

My Friends, I wish you Peace, Joy,Love,Happiness and Health,
Blah Blah....fuck all that shit!....I Wish you Lots of Good Sex,Orgasms,Alcohol and hope you WIN the Fucking Lottery...
MERRY CHRISTMAS!

"I don't care if your are, Black,White,Straight,Bisexual,Gay,Lesbian,Short,Tall,Slim,Fat,Rich or Poor. If You are Nice to Me then I will be Nice to You. Simple as That."

The Most Romantic story is Not ROMEO and JULIET who Died together,But GRANDMA and GRANDPA who GREW OLD TOGETHER....

A)ccepts you as you are..
B)eleaves in" YOU"..
C)alls you just to say "HI"..
D)osen't give up on you..
E)nvisions the whole of you (even the unfinished parts)..
F)orgives your Mistakes..
G)ives Unconditionally..
H)elps you..
I)gnores your mistakes..
J)ust wants to "Be" with you..
K)eeps you Close to Heart..
L)oves you for who you are..
M)akes a Difference in your Life..
N)ever Judges..
O)ffers Support..
P)icks you UP..
Q)uiets your Fears..
R)aises your Spirits..
S)ays Nice things about you..
T)ells you the Truth when you need to know it..
V)alues your Friendship..
W)alks with you..
X)plains things you Don't understand..
Y)ells when you Won't listen..
Z)aps you back to Reality..

A Boy Friend gave a Challenge to his Girl Friend to live a full day without him.
No Communications at all,and said if she passed it he would LOVE HER FOREVER.
She did not Text or Call him the whole day,without knowing he had only 24 hours to LIVE because he had Cancer.
The next day she went Excitedly to her Boy Friends house ,tears fall as she sees her Boy Friend lying in his Coffin with a note pinned to the side...."You did it Baby,can you do it EVERY DAY."
I LOVE YOU....

1. Open a new File on your PC.
2. Name it "Housework".
3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN.
4. Empty the Recycle Bin.
5. Your PC.will ask you."Are you sure you want to Delete Housework Permanently.?"
6. Calmly answer "Yes" and press the Mouse firmly....
7. Feel Better!...Works for Me........

An Elderly Florida Lady did her Shopping,on returning to her car,she found four Males in the act of leaving with her Vehicle.
She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun,proceeding to shout at the top of her lungs"I have a gun,and I know how to Use it!Get out of the Car".
The four Men didn't wait for a second threat.They got out and ran like mad.
The Lady somewhat Shaken,then proceeded to load her bags into the back of the car and got into the drivers seat.She was that shaken she could not get the Key into the Ignition.
She tried and tried and then realised why.It was the same reason there was a football,a Frisbee and six bottles of Beer in the front passenger seat well.
A few minutes later she found her own car parked four or five spaces further on.
She loaded her bags into the car and drove to the Police Station to report her mistake.
The Sergeant to whom she told her story couldn't stop Laughing.
He pointed to the other end of the bench were four very pale men were reporting a car jacking by a Mad Elderly Women,described as white,less than five feet tall,glasses,curly white hair and carrying a large handgun.

NO Charges were Filed!.....

The Moral of the Story.......If you are going to have a Senior moment....Make it a BIG one....