is getting a bit nervous. Tomorrow is going to be an interesting day. I already told you that I now have a friend with benefits... and he knows this girl........ do I have to say anything else?

So tomorrow I will be meeting him and she is going to walk in on us... we are not yet sure if he will stay in the room or if we will kick him out after some time but I am sure it is going to be very... interesting. I happen to know that we all plan to drown a nice big glass of our favourite alcohol before it starts... to make sure there will be no too weird situations. And then... anything goes Just thinking about it makes my heart beat faster.

So please, wish me luck for tomorrow... I might need it

1. Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with?
YES!!

[2-9 missing]

10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
Usually I want the other to be agressive... but there are times in which I like to take turns.

11. Do you love someone on your friends list?
Nope

12. Do you know all the people on your friends list?
Almost

13. Love or money?
Love... if there is enough money to live

14. Credit cards or cash?
Cash

15. Has there ever been anyone in your family you wish wasn't?
Oh yes

16. Would you rather go camping or to a 5 star hotel?
Hotel... if I want to camp I can still sleep on the sunlounger.

17. What is the weirdest place you have had sex?
Park... middle of the day

18. Would you shave your entire body (including your head) for money?
For what kind of money??

19. Have you ever been to a strip club?
No

20. Ever been to a bar?
Yes

21. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club?
No

22. Kissed someone of the same sex?
Ask me again tomorrow... then I should be able to answer this with a yes

23. Favorite alcoholic drink?
Baccardisomething

24. Had sex in a movie theater?
No

25. Had sex in a bathroom?
Yep

26. Have you ever had sex at work?
No

27. Have you ever been in an "adult" store?
Yes

28. Bought something from an adult store?
Yes

29. Have you been caught having sex?
No

30. Does anyone have naughty pics of u?
Ehm... the internet?? And ...

31. Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?
I once had a ONS with someone who changed his name in the middle. In the beginning his name was A, later on he called himself B. So I propably called him by the wrong name.

32. Who do you think has the guts to repost this?
Quite a few, I think...

Wohoo!!! I am premium.

Off to watching vids now

I am getting a bit scared now. Is it normal to spend hours talking online to a friend with benefits? Spilling your guts after knowing someone for a very short time? Talking about things you usually keep for yourself? You know, those little secrets you usually keep deep down where nobody, no matter how hard they look for it, could possibly find them? We have known each other for a REALLY short time and we are sharing all that. He knows things about me nobody else does and I know more about him than anyone else as well. I mean his trust almost knocked me off my feet, several times. We talk so honestly it is almost better than the sex we have and that is pretty amazing as well. I mean he touches something inside me that has not been touched ever before but I am really afraid that it could end badly. End badly? It has not even begun nor am I sure it ever will begin but boy, there is a lot going on inside me at the moment. In my brain, my pussy and somewhere in between. This is pretty overwhelming at the moment... I do not really know what to say, do or feel but I guess that is good.

So, I said it out loud, of sorts, and I think that is for now all I can and should do. Thanks for listening.

... well at least sexually. not financially- still looking for a job. and no matter how perfect it would be I CAN NOT WORK NIGHTSHIFT MONDAY TO THURSDAY!! but back to the positive side.

I seem to be building up a very... satisfying friends with benefits relationship. met him twice now and my girly parts still do the happy dance . It's a good feeling to know that is seems as if this part at least looks taken care of. It will hopefully prevent me from going up the walls any time soon. big smile!!

Holiday is over and I am back at the uni. Now I really have to get a job, but right now all available ones are either promotion (i am not standing on the sideway handing out flyers!!!) phone promotion (I hate that. they always hang up, that is not good for my ego) or private lessons (100km away, which leaves no money after paying for the fuel.) So I am still looking and have no idea how it will end.

I had a really nasty cold during the holidays and while i watched different series on my laptop while lying in bed i started to crochet a bra. not being able to afford one of those [url]http://www.koniakow.com/osc/index.php/cPath/59[/url] i decided to try making one myself. (you got to know, in school whenever we had to crochet or knit i visited my gran and let her do it so that is a really unusual thing for me.)I grabed some left over thread and started. Now i hope i do not run out of it before it is finished since i really doubt those are still available, they are left overs from my school years.
But do you know what the really scary thing is? I am getting fast at it. It is not flawless or so but i am getting really fast at it. I already tripled my speed!! Now I hope motivation is not leaving me because it is a great antipole to learning or writing papers. Wish me luck!! (and if it looks good enough to show it I will post a picture of it, once it is finished, which might take some time, even if i got enough thread.)

Christmas holiday began half an hour ago!! Now all I have to do is kick my bags into my car, remove the milk from the fridge, drive home, give x-mas shopping advice to my brother, buy two small presents and go grocery shopping. Then I can finally hit the sheets and not worry about other stuff for a while. Hm... sleeping in, meals I do not have to cook all by myself, not too much work,...
Even having my grandma2 around (she is the annoying, nagging, complaining kind), playing taxi for her does not sound to bad now. Especially cause I can sleep in!! I am so looking forward to that. I am not at all a morning person and been xxxxxx to behave like one for quite some time now and I feel it now.

Happy Christmas holidays!!!!!!

About half an hour ago I looked through my mail and I remembered a really old account and just for the heck of it I tied if I still know the password. I did. In my inbox there was one piece of mail (no idea why I never got any spam to that adress). I pressed the inbox button and there it was. A mail from my ex. Thinking nothing bad I opened it and when I started to read it the bomb hit me. It was a long and very detailed explanation of why he had broken up with me. When we broke up back than it was kind of clear, not much discussion needed - but this mail, which he sent me way after we broke up puts it in words and that really just killed me.

It was not an evil mail. He was horribly sweet, explaining everything in great detail, writing something like a million compliments between the reasons why we could not continue with out relationship. And maybe because there were no harsh words this mail was one if the cruelst I ever got. I can not really explain it but this one really crashed a lot inside me.

I am already through a years supply of chocolate (ok, a man's yearly supply) but it does not help. today would be the day to get really wasted but i have to be up and working at 8am tomorrow morning which is not gonna happen with the monster hang over that would for sure be the consequence of the amount of alcohol that is needed to get that out of my mind. (i would have to buy some at the gas station too because i seriously dont own that much but...)

Men can be cruel bastards!!

I am bibabored. Have met some friends today. Drunk some alkohol... but not nearly enough to be a happy drunk, more the way of believing to see everything clearer, understand things better (although I would not dare to write the paper that is due on tuesday now, which is gonna be a complete fantasy novel btw).

It is really late now, or should I say early but somehow, 'cause of the alcohol? 'cause of the very late night snack I cooked? I am not tired at all. I mean I am as awake as they come. And I am running out if ideas. I read more or less every single thread in the forum that got an answer within the last three days, I cleaned my room (you could now actually eat off the floor), played online poker (and won!!!), looked through every single homepage I usually skim, watched more mid-night reruns of shows than a single person can cope with, watched BBC Prime and CNBC Europe which usually put me right to sleep, wrapped every gift Amazon already sent, read a lot of blogs... but: I AM BORED!!!!!! I mean, I really tried everything. But I am up and widely awake.

Can you help????????

What did I learn yesterday? Well, judging by how I feel today that is easy to answer: Sex in the back of a car can make you feel really old.
I mean it was great while it lasted, but already while we were at it the seatbelt-thingy hurt terribly. I mean, why does this thing have to be at the very place the knee is going to end up sooner or later (and it was sooner in this case)? I have a really big hurtful bruise there now.
Another thing is: this was not a small car. But still, it was too narrow. My head must have been in a really arkward position most of the time otherwise my neck and shoulders would not hurt so bad now.

My knees hurt, I have some luckily invisible bruises on my forehead, my tighs hurt from the for me rather unusual kind of sport and it hurts like hell to keep my head at a normal level. When I walk I feel like 80, and don’t you dare ask how I feel when I have to get upstairs. This can not be healthy. Seriously it can’t. There are two possible ways of solving that: buying a van or not beeing too spontanious. Everything that takes longer than, lets say 30 minutes, should not be taken care of in a freaking backseat. I mean, what am I? A horny teeny who just got it’s parents car for a night? No! I am a responsable (do not dare to laugh) and adult woman who deserves more than that. You want spontanious sex in the backseat? Fine, make it a quicky. You want hourlong dirty uncensored sex with a very willing woman who is not much afraid of anything? Make sure there is a place that is more comfortable available and don’t be like: “No, having sex in a dorm just does not feel right” Sorry??? Does not feel right? Proof me wrong but I am pretty sure that (drunken, which we were not) sex in dorm rooms happens quite frequently and has a long history. So why not have nice, sober, addicting sex there too?? Oh, and I forgot to mention: you have a job. If in doubt you can always rent a cheap room at a highway motel (or buy a last minute ticket to a place with higher temperatures at the moment if you want outdoor).

Ok, guts spilled.

Did I note it? The sex was great, but not quite worth being asked by everyone why you smile when moving like an octogenarian.