She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods.

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend,all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning and mopping and airing the place out.

Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.

Air fresheners were hung everywhere.

Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit...

Repairmen refused to work in the house...

The maid quit...

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local Realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house.

She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back...

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth...But only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home...

including the curtain rods.

I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING....DON'T YOU??

I have always loved the way peoples minds work, and I love a debate (LOL I like to agrue so much I can argue both sides!) So I am starting a question of the week...I was going to post in the forum but my threads never do well and I don't want the question trashed anyways. So this is my first one. Even if no one replies its cool cause its something thats on my mind and thats what my blog is for (In my opinion)

QUESTION: DO YOU CONSIDER CYBER SEX TO BE SEX??
now what I mean is if you have a partener and one of you has a "cyber sex" affair do you consider it cheating?? Or if you are single like me, once you start a new relationship and the topic of sex comes up...Can you anwser "NO" you have not been sexual with anyone lately? Of course with cyber sex there would be no STD's/VD's etc...But someone else got to know you intimatly. I also know there is no real definition of cyber sex (as to exactly what it is). I have never had cyber sex as in "ohh now I put my _____ on your ______ and _____." LOL But I have shared fantasies, and written erotic stories. Just curius to see other peoples point of view.

Just so everyone knows there was a reason for my poem yesterday. I guess maybe I should have stated that then lol.
Some days it's easy to remember why living in a small town can be horrible. Suddenly every news story you hear isn't just a story -the characters are all people you know. So far in the past few days there was a hit and run accident killing a 23 year old new dad. I know the person who was killed, his family and as well I know the person who hit him as well as all his family. Not to mention the accused also has a little girl who will now grow up not knowing her dad.
Also a gentleman passed away whom I did not know, but I did know a lot of his family members. For what ever reason his young son decided he couldn't handle life anymore and also took his own life leaving behind a wife and 2 young daughters - and a school full of children (he was a teacher)

So in the span of days, 4 fathers are taken away from thier kids lives, 4 women are left to pick up the pieces for thier families and a small town just got smaller.

Please don't offer your sympathies to me - none of this effects me directly other than the fact I feel terribly saddend for all these people whos lives will never be the same. I don't even really know why I blogged this...maybe to sort it all out in my head. Maybe as a reminder to all to Hang in there..or to spend as much time with the ones you love as you can....I really truly don't know my reasons.
Thanks all though for letting me know I am cared for. And Dawn...is there enough diner and rum for all????

To the few people on NN I have come to get to know, know that if some

To My Friends


If tomorrow ends up being my last day, know that I cherished all the time we spent together.
If tomorrow ends my journey, know that I was glad you were there, along for the ride.
If tomorrow completes my time on Earth, know that I will watch over you from above.
If tomorrow I am no longer here, remember me for what I was not who I could have been.
If tomorrow I am still here, remind me once agan - there is a reason why I am still here.

=0(

So nice. Two of my favorite movies were on today. You know the kind..ones you have seen soooooooo many times yet you can't turn away. Now I know not everyone would like these movies - Save the Last Dance and Fools Rush In

Save the Last Dance~I remember my ex and I going to see with 4 or 5 couples and we all loved the movie-guys included. It was a fun simple night, something that in the future I would love to do again.

Fools Rush In - I don't know if I would even remember the movie without the memories. On the first year I could "legally" celebrate New Years Eve, my best friend and I were both single. So we decided to dress up and go to a club. Of course not long after we got there she hooked up and we had already agreed that if one of us found someone the other couldn't get mad. Suddenly the guy I was crushing on was there and my friend told me he was looking for me. Well lets just say we had one awesome night, including that special NYE kiss.
I was wearing a long black dress with a slit up the side and looked half decent. That night was the first time a guy ever told me I looked beautiful. I may not like him now but I will remember that moment forever.
Anyways we all went back to his house (the 4 of us) and the way his living room was set up we had one couch and my friend and date had the other but we each kinda had privacy. The movie was on while we were making out etc *hehe* and for some reason we all went quiet and we heard this line from the movie "WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT (a condom) DIDN'T WORK??? THATS ITS ONLY JOB!!!" For some reason we all broke out laughing and we all stopped to watch the rest of the movie.
Since you all weren't there I am sure you won't understand any of that...lol but I do. It was one night that went exactly as planned. Good things come to those who wait...lol now all I need to do is learn to wait.

LOL I went on a date tonight to see Hoodwinked. Is it really sad that I love cartoons? Especially the ones with the humor kids don't understand or at least we pretend they don't understand.

Speaking of things you won't understand...unless you are a Newfie or are at least Canadian I don't think you will get this:

White,
Lard thunderin' jassssus bye, I'm at me wits end and I'm prayin' you'll operate on me so I can have me nuts cut off and make me sterile. Me reasons are numerous. After being married for seven years and having had 9 children, I have come to the conclusion that contraceptives are friggin' useless.

After getting married here in Gander bye, I was advised by the priest to use the rhythm method. Despite trying the Tango and the Samba, me wife fell pregnant, and I ruptured meself doing the Cha-Cha. Apart from dat, where do ye find a band when ye get the urge at two o'clock in the mornin'?

Another doctor suggested the safe period. At the time, we wus livin' with de in-laws and we had to wait 3 weeks fer the safe period, when the 'ouse was empty. Needless to say dat didn't work, and da missus got pregnant again. Twins dis time. A lady of several years' experience said if we made love while breast feeding we would be all right.

Well, I finished up with clear skin, silky hair and was very healthy... but da wife, well she got pregnant again. Another tale we 'eard was if da wife jumped up and down after intercourse dis would prevent pregnancy. She slipped a disk, stubbed her big toe, but she still got pregnant again. Jaaaaasus nother set of twins. I asked the pharmacist about the condoms and he demonstrated them, so I bought a big box. Me wife fell pregnant again, which did not surprise me as I never did believe how stretching one of dem things over yer index finger could ever stop da missus from getting knocked up yet again. We tried the coil next but dat didn't work. It had a left-hand screw and me wife is definitely a right-hand screw. The Dutch cap was next and seemed to be our answer, but the wife got severe headaches when the only size available was too tight across 'er forehead.

Ye can see me problems right?
If I can't 'ave da operation I will 'ave to resort to oral sex, but lard jasssssus bye I can't believe dat talking bout it is any substitute fer the real ting. Do ye??

Yours sincerely,
Eli from Conception Bay
P.S. Me fadder didn't have any condoms way back den so he skinned an eel and used that. Needless to say it didn't work......poked hes pecker through the eye ..... dat's how I got me name.

Being a parent is hardddddddd work!

OK so no I am not a parent but I am now in charge of 20 (and growing) people with something new I started. I need to use patience (speaking of which if anyone has some extra that they can share please feel free to send it my way), I need to figure out ways to make them understand different things, slove problems, break up fights, make decisions that effect others..and on and on and on. And just like being a parent there is no pay and the hours are 24/7...well ok I cheat here ...they are like 18/7 lol.

To Juicy and Sand and NN and NN-J and all others ~~~ My respect for you has increased in unknown amounts. Basically we are like the children on this site who expect help, guidance and anwsers never thinking about what we may be interupting in your life. Thank you for helping us grow and I hope your influence pays off....HAHAH or that at least I can pay one of you off when I get sent to jail because my peace of mind snaps and I need to be busted out!

I have been kinda MIA around here lately and am missing you guys so I think I need to pop into the chat room. I got involved in something and anyone who knows me knows that when I start something new I become very into it. So far I have taught myself HTML codes, photoshop and am learning about some other stuff. Plus I have met a freaking busload of new people and my dang yahoo messenger doesn't stop - lol I am not sure if I like being popular or not!
I think that because I get so involed in things that the guy I end up with will be very lucky. LOL I tend to be very passionate and I want to learn everything I can on my own...and I am very hands on!

OH OH OH !! I almost forgot..about my New Years resolution - its kinda divided into 7 parts...well I just completed #1 today woot woot woot

Wow...It really hasn't been that long since I blogged but it feels like forever (well for me anyways)

First I want to thank everyone for all the PM's and emails checking in on me. I've been so overwhelmed with life lately I just let everything slide. Its funny...you would think when you are losing control you would continue to control what you can. Meh such is life I guess.

On Christmas day I was hurt probably more than I have ever been in my entire life. You would think that I would stop putting faith in things other people take for granted but thats just not the way I work. I believe in happy ever after in whatever aspect and I just can't stop trusting in people (although my patience is being tested here). The worst part is the people who hurt me are ones who will be in my life forever. Then again if they weren't it wouldn't be such a big deal.

On the other side...some how I have a guardian angel out there. Things here have been extremly bad. I had not bought groceries since November 9 or so. I had my unemployment cheque coming but from that rent needed to be paid, my phone, internet, groceries plus all the other crap-- shampoo, soap, cleaning stuff, toilet paper (which reminds me I still need some!!)There was no way I was going to cover it. But at the last moment I got offered a job for 2 days..cash and tips. Now my rent is paid, I have groceries, and some of the pressure on my chest is gone. I guess sometimes sitting back and letting fate take over is the only option.

I pray everyone on NN has a fantastic new year and BTW in case anyone cares...I do have a New Years Resolution and once I carry it through you all will hear it!

BASICS
Name:
Age:
Location:
Height:
Hair (color and style):
Eyes:
Piercings/tattoos:

OTHER
1. Where would we go on dates?

2. Who are three (or more) of your favorite bands/artists?

3. Do you drink/smoke??

4. Do you like the rain?

5. If so...would you play in it with me?

6. Do you like movies?

7. If so would you stay up and watch them with me all night?

8. Could we cuddle and just fall asleep together?

9. Would you kiss my forhead?

10. Do you play an instrument?

11. If so...what?

12. Would you call me right after we saw eachother to make sure i made it home alright?

13. How would you rate your hugs from 1-10?

14. Favorite body part on a girl?

15. What would you say is the best thing about yourself?

16. Do you have any reps (ie: heartbreaker, slut)?

17. Would you give me kisses just because?