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I love having fun and being with my friends, just hanging out and laughing. I think I can have fun almost anywhere.
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Saturday, March 12, 2005, 2:42:27 AM- The F Word | ||||||
Perhaps one of the most interesting and colorful words in the English language is the word "Fuck." It is the one magical word, which, just by it's sound describes pain, pleasure, love, and hate. In language, "Fuck" falls into many grammatical categories. It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John). It can be an active verb (Mary doesn't really give a fuck); or an adverb (Mary is really fucking interested in John); and as a noun, (Mary is a terrific fuck). It can be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful). As you see, there are very few words with the versatility of "Fuck." Besides it's sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations: It can be used in an anatomical description ---- "He's a fucking asshole." It can be used to tell time ---- "It's five fucking thirty." It can be used in business ---- "How did I end up with this fucking job?" It can be maternal ---- as in "Motherfucker." Valuable Vocabulary Chart Greetings ---- "How the fuck are you?" Fraud ---- "I got fucked by the car dealer." Dismay ---- "Oh, fuck it." Trouble ---- "Hell, I guess I'm fucked now." Aggression ---- "Fuck you." Disgust ---- "Fuck me." Confusion ---- "What the fuck...?" Difficulty ---- "I don't understand this fucking business." Despair ---- "Fucked again." Exasperation ---- "For fuck's sake." Enjoyment ---- "This is fucking great." Hostility ---- "I'm going to knock your fucking head off." Stupidity ---- "Geir Bergerud is a Fuckwad!" Incompetence ---- "He's such a fuck up." Ignorance ---- "Fuck if I know." Displeasure ---- "What the fuck is going on here?" Lost ---- "Where the fuck are we?" Disbelief ---- "Unfuckingbelievable!" Retaliation ---- "Up your fucking ass." Surprise ---- "Fuckin A!" Surprise ---- "Well, I'll be fucked." Suspicion ---- "What the fuck are you doing?" Contempt ---- "Fuck you and the horse you rode in on!" Famous quotes: "What the fuck was that?" -- Mayor of Hiroshima "Where did all these fucking Indians come from?" -- General Custer "Where the fuck is all this water coming from?" -- Captain of the Titanic "That's not a real fucking gun." -- John Lennon "Who's gonna fucking find out?" -- Richard Nixon "Heads are going to fucking roll." -- Anne Boleyn "Any fucking idiot could understand that." -- Albert Einstein "It does so fucking look like her!" -- Picasso "How the fuck did you work that out?" -- Pythagoras "You want what on the fucking ceiling?" -- Michaelangelo "Fuck a duck." -- Walt Disney "Why?- Because its fucking there!" -- Edmund Hilary "I don't suppose its gonna fucking rain?" -- Joan of Arc "Scattered fucking showers my ass." -- Noah "I need this parade like I need a fucking hole in my head." -- John F. Kennedy The mind boggles at the many creative uses of the word FUCK! Use it regularly in your daily speech. It will add to your prestige | ||||||
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Tuesday, March 8, 2005, 3:28:17 AM- The Top 10 Summer Porn Releases For 1998 | ||||||
10) "Not So Small Soldiers" 9) "He Got Gay" "Deeper Impact" 7) "Six Days With Seven Knights" 6) "Dr. Dolittle, Nurse Do Lot" 5) "Shaving Ryan's Privates" 4) "Can't Hardly Date" 3) "XXX-Files" 2) "Armageddon Some" 1) "There's Something About Mary...She's a HO!" | ||||||
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Monday, March 7, 2005, 12:58:01 AM- THANK YOU FOR CALLING THE MENTAL HEALTH HOT LINE... | ||||||
If you're obsessive/compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you're co-dependent, ask someone to press 2 for you. If you're a multiple personality, press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you're paranoid and delusional, we already know what you want and who you are. Just stay on the line while we trace your call. If you're schizophrenic, please hold, and a little voice will tell you what to press. If you're depressed, it probably doesn't matter what you press, it won't do you any good anyway | ||||||
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Sunday, March 6, 2005, 6:24:05 AM- Spell Checker | ||||||
I halve a spelling checker, It came with my pea see. It plainly marks four my revue Mistakes I dew knot sea. Eye strike a key and type a word And weight four it two say Weather eye am wrong oar write It shows me strait aweigh. As soon as a mist ache is maid It nose bee fore two long And eye can put the era rite Its rarely ever wrong. I've scent this massage threw it, And I'm shore your pleased too no Its letter prefect in every weigh; My checker tolled me sew | ||||||
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Friday, March 4, 2005, 4:59:58 AM- Actual Excerpts From Classified Sections Of City Newspapers | ||||||
Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once,you'll never go anywhere again. Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included. Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children. Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel. Stock up and save. Limit: one. Semi-Annual after Christmas Sale 3 year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred. Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating. Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting off head illusion. Blue Cross and salary. Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00 For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers. Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too. We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand. For sale. Three canaries of undermined sex. Great Dames for sale. Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition | ||||||
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Friday, March 4, 2005, 2:48:44 AM- Beercalculator | ||||||
This is very cool. BEER MATHEMATICS This is pretty neat how it works out. This is cool beer math!!!!!!! DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST! It takes less than a minute....... Work this out as you read. Be sure you don't read the bottom until you've worked it out! This is not >one of those waste of time things, it's fun. 1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to >have a pint. (try for more than once) 2. Multiply this number by 2 (Just to be honest) 3. Add 5. (for Sunday) 4. Multiply it by 50 I'll wait while you get the >calculator................ 5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1755.... If you >haven't, add 1754 ... 6. Now subtract the four-digit year that you were born. You should have a three-digit number The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how many times you want to have a pint week). The next two numbers are ....... YOUR AGE! ~ (Oh YES, it IS!!!!! ) THIS IS THE ONLY YEAR IT WILL EVER WORK, SO SPREAD IT AROUND WHILE IT LASTS | ||||||
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Tuesday, March 1, 2005, 1:56:30 AM- Your smile for today! | ||||||
American Medical Association researchers have made a remarkable discovery. It seems that some patients needing blood transfusions may benefit from receiving chicken blood rather than human blood. It tends to make the men cocky and the women lay better. Just thought you'd like to know! | ||||||
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Sunday, February 27, 2005, 3:06:37 AM- Top 26 Reasons Barbie Dumped Ken | ||||||
She cought him in bed with cousin Skipper Couldn't commit, after 50 years living together He's anatomically incorrect Wheelchair Becky is able where it counts Caught him staring at some un-realistically proportioned woman GI Joe is more of a stud Frequently goes on extended business trips with Sailor Moon He just wasn't the same after the accident with the hot iron Come on, the guy doesn't even have a job... Three words: Size *does* matter. Would you date a guy who drives a pink roadster? He Was DownSized By Mattel Ken's videos of Mr and Mrs Potatoehead Ken was caught in bed with... G.I. Joe He kept giving her large plastic jewelry. How Tacky! Rarely brought her practical clothes She could build a better man out of Legos The earring. He shoulda never got the earring. He just seemed so...artificial... His hand feels cold and plasticy - kinda creeps her out What's up with his hair Ken arrested yet again, hanging out with Robert Downey Jr. He complained she wore makeup that made her look plastic He kept groping her He wouldn't put out Weebles wobble but they don't fall down | ||||||
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Sunday, February 27, 2005, 2:51:24 AM- mmm I like | ||||||
This song has been out for a while now I guess but I heard it for the first time the other day and it sent shivers down my spine. I am a romantic at heart and this sounds sooooo hot. Austin ~ Blake Shelton She left without leaving a number Said she needed to clear her mind He figured she'd gone back to Austin Cuz she talked about it all the time It was almost a year before she called him up 3 rings and an answering machine is what she got If your calling 'bout the car, I sold it If this is Tuesday night I'm bowling If you got something to sell, your wasting your time I'm not buying If it's any body else, wait for the tone, you know what to do and P.S., if this is Austin, I still love you The telephone fell to the counter she heard but she couldn't believe What kind of man would hang on that long what kind of love that must be she waited 3 days, and then she tried agian she didn't know what she'd say but she heard 3 rings and then If it's Friday night I'm at the ball game And first thing Saturday, if it don't rain I'm headed out to the lake and I'll be gone all weekend long But I'll call you back when I get home On Sunday afternoon P.S. if this is Austin, I still love you This time she left her number, but not another word Then she waited by the phone on Sunday evening And this is what he heard If your calling 'bout my heart, its still yours I should've listened to it a little more then it wouldn't have taken me so long to know where I belong and by the way boy, this is no machine your talking to Can't you tell this is Austin, and I still love you I still love you | ||||||
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Saturday, February 26, 2005, 5:24:16 AM- New NN logo??? | ||||||
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