Ya think you have lived to be 70 and know who you are, then along comes someone and blows it all to the dickens.



The old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.

As he sat sipping his coffee, a pretty young woman sat down next to him..

She turned to the cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'

He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cattle, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy.'

She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything makes me think of naked women.'

The two sat sipping their coffee in silence.

A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'

The old man replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbian.'

If anybody has any prayers to spare, I would really appreciate some being sent to my 18 year old nephew, who was hit by a drunken driver and has now been in a coma in IC for the past day & a half.

Thanks

Couldnt miss this chance to get on top of u three )

G'Day all

Flew home from my latest job on Friday, went straight from the airport to a family get together on Friday night and spent yesterday recovering from jet lag and sobering up, so I've been neglecting my duties here on NN for a couple of days. Sorry Franky, but even official stalkers need SOME time off.

I watched the movie "Australia" on the flight home from Oz and I have to say I wasn't particularly impressed - it has a pretty wishy-washy story line and Nicole Kidman's acting was fairly ordinary. Some great scenery tho.

On another subject, why is it that peeing seems to be a team sport for women when they are out?? Yep, it happens here as well as Oz and most other countries that I've been to - women find it impossible to go to the bathroom by themselves!! Hmmm, one of life's imponderables!

So....................

Just got back from a couple weeks working in Myanmar. Managed to get a pic of the big Pagoda in Yangon from my hotel room:




Happy Birthday MD (sorry I'm late, too busy taking pics of pagodas. hahaha)

Where is your cell phone? - Bedroom
Your significant other? - Soulmate
Your hair? – Scruffy
Your mother? - Strong
Your father? - Missed
Your favourite thing? - Life
Your dream last night? - Naughty
Your favourite drink? - Beer
Your goal? - Security
What room are you in? - Office
Your hobby? - Travel
Your fear? - Alone
Where do you want to be in 6 years? - Home
Where were you last night? - Bed
Something that you aren't? - Bigotted
Muffins? - Muffdiving?
Wish list item? - Volvo
Where you grew up? - Oz
Last thing you did? - Haircut
What are you wearing? - T Shirt
TV? - Yes
Your pets? - Cats
Friends? - Good
Without friends? - Sad
Your life? - Good
Your mood? - Upbeat
Missing someone? - Yes
Your car? - Old
Something you're not wearin? - Beanie
Your favourite store? - Computer
Your favourite colour? - Gold
When is the last time you laughed? - Today
Last time you cried? - Funeral
Who will resend this? - You
Where do you go to over and over? - NN
Five people who email me regularly? – Yes
My favourite place to eat? - home
Favourite place I'd like to be at right now? - Here

- She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
- Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
- On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
- The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
- The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
- Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.
- Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
- The patient refused autopsy.
- The patient has no previous history of suicide.
- Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
- Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40lb weight gain in the past 3 days.
- Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
- Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
- Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might like to work her up.
- She is numb from her toes down.
- While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
- The skin was moist and dry.
- Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
- Patient was alert and unresponsive.
- Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
- She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.
- I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
- Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.
- Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
- The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
- The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.
- Skin: somewhat pale but present.
- The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
- Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
- Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
- Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities

Hmmmm, I've had an interesting couple of days.

As most of you know, Bangkok Airport has been closed for a few days due to being occupied by the "Peoples Alliance for Democracy"

Well, I was asked to go to Qatar for a short 2 week job before Christmas, sooooooooo.. 6 o'clock yesterday morning I left home for a 1200 km drive down to Songkhla near the Malaysian border. Overnight in a hotel in Songkhla, slept in this morning, then left there at midday for another 6 hour drive, this time across the border and down to Penang Airport in Malaysia.

Three hours later, left Penang for the one hour flight to Kuala Lumpur, so now here I am in the departure lounge in KL at 10:00 pm, waiting until midnight, so I can catch the 7.5 hour flight to Dubai, arriving there at 3:30 am (a change of time zones). Leave Dubai at 5:50 am, and finally arrive in Qatar at 5:50 am (Yep, another time zone change, so I arrive at the same time as I take off - pretty cool huh).

If anybody asks me tomorrow "How was yr flight?", I will probably say something rude!!!!!

See ya when I see ya all u lovely people!