1. An old buddy of mine that I've known since grade school.

He moved away from a couple of houses down to across town years ago.

When I saw him again after the move, he was seeing my favorite cousin - which made me very happy.

Long story short(er), they eventually were married and raised two sons.

After almost 40 years of marriage, my cousin developed Lou Gehrig's disease and eventually passed away.

My friend not only lost his soul-mate, but his youngest son to cancer three years later.

My buddy is a tough guy. He has handled his losses better than most.

He's retired now and travels quite a bit.

He has not dated since my cousin died, though.

2. My ex wife was a drug addled psycho who cheated on me, lied to me, tried to stab me with a butcher's knife once and then left me.

Those are the nicest things I can say about her.

After she left me, she had a nervous breakdown. I kept her from being committed. After she went back to work, she left me again. We then were divorced.

A year after her first breakdown she had another.

She has been living off the government since, raising two children she had out of wedlock.

3. Last night I had a dream in which we were all going through a blizzard. For some reason I was in the same house with the two of them. I stated that we needed to go out for supplies and since my pal has a big truck, we should drive it.

I turned around and the two of them were kissing.

I took the keys, jumped in the truck and started driving. I then decided not to go back.

Then I woke up.

As much as I like my friend, and knowing he would laugh, I'm not going to tell him about my dream.

Some things are left better off untold.

~

Imagine where the economy would be if you couldn't raise any prices...

unless the minimum wage went up.

Just thinkin' out loud.

~

If a person tells me they think I'm light on my feet I take it as a compliment -

that means I'm agile,

or at my age 'spry'.

If a person tells me they think I'm light in the loafers I'm miffed -

that's an old school way of saying they think you're gay.

When I was a kid and even a young man,

those were fightin' words.

Not that there's anything wrong with being gay.

I just don't need any negative comments about my sexual preferences at my age.

~

After I left for work, the electrician & building manager came by.

It seems there's a small leak under the sink, which drips down on the garbage disposal and causes a short.

For now, the disposal is disconnected until a plumber can find (and stop) the leak, then a new disposal will be installed.

Easy-peazy, right?

At least I have kitchen lights and use of my microwave again.

(sighs)

~

The building manager pulled in a favor and has gotten an electrician to come by after hours (for him) to work on my breaker problem while I'm at work tonight.

She called 8 other electricians and all are booked for the next two weeks.

I know that as the old saying goes, 'there's no such thing as a free lunch',

so I wonder what my quid pro quo will be?

~

... I'm in an old Maytag repairman commercial.

The one's where he's the loneliest guy in the world, because Maytags are so dependable.

Why?

I'm waiting on an electrician.

Breakers in the basement are not marked, so an electrician has been called.

Stand by for more thrilling reports!

... had one whole wall's sockets go out?

It happened to day to me.

I heard a little 'pop' and the overhead kitchen light went out, along with the clock on the microwave.

The stove and the refrigerator still work, but the garbage disposal and vent switch is not functioning.

I walked into the next room and tried turning on the computer.

Nothing.

So, I moved the computer into the living room. I put a portable lamp in the kitchen - of course the batteries are low.

Now I need to go down to the basement and try flipping a couple of circuit breakers (I hope they're marked) to see if I need to tell the landlord to call an electrician or not.

Gotta love Mondays.

245 years.

I remember the 200th and hopefully I'll make the 250th.

No, we're not a perfect nation.

Yes, we have a lot of work to do to make this 'a more perfect union'.

We keep trying, though.

Have a safe and happy holiday!

~

I went outside to throw away some trash today.

I kept hearing 'quack, quack, quack'.

It seems I have new neighbors on the other side of my privacy fence out back:

A white duck, a black duck and a little scottie dog that follows them around everywhere they go.

I'm looking forward to seeing the human(s) that live there with their creative montage.