Started at a new station today, 8:00am start time. Had to get to my old place and load up my gear, got to new place at 7:50. At 8:14am structure fire, 2 buildings involved. we were there for 3 hours. I barely had time to get my gear out of my car and on the rig. Everybody is happy, I'm 'good luck'.And this place is much quieter than my last, you just never know! The last place I was at got a new guy, 2 years ago, he was on duty for about 90% of the fires we had that next year. I cant' take that pace anymore, neither can the neighborhood.
Hello to all
Happy Birthday to MD!
Best, Mort

Grandpa is baybsitting his 6 year old grandson and takes him to Wal-Mart for some shopping. Grandpa isn't the worlds best sitter (go figure) and they get separated. The boy gets found by security, and the security officer asks:
What's your grandpa like?
after a few seconds the boy tells him







Jack Daniels and bit tits! BWAHaHaHa

(sorry about 'tits' - boobs just isn't as funny)
I hate office work!

It sounded much funnier in my head, with a martini, and a bottle of fine red wine in me. It was only a joke, ever heard of a lead balloon, yeah they don't work either--SORRY It was inspired at work, a dryer fire in a laundromat, and a basket of clothes we passed by with a bra on top (an obviously LARGE bra) that I didn't touch! It caught the attention of a couple of guys and we joked about it. I am not a perv! Well maybe a little LOL
(NIXON- I am not a Crook)

PS: office work sucks!!! Hope it won't be long.

Hypothetical situation
You have a female friend who asks you to let her dog out for a pee while she is at work, one a month or so. If you happened to notice that the laundry pile in her appartment, not snooping around or anything, had a pretty, lacy bra right on top, how WEIRD would it be if he took a peek to see what size the bra was? This is NOT me, just trying to help a friend with a little good advice form my friends at NN.

1. Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with?
Yes! in the right circumstances.

[2-9 missing]

10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
If i can remember- I like to switch around

11. Do you love someone on your friends list?
Love is a BIG word- I don't throw it around lightly.

12. Do you know all the people on your friends list?
not really- This is the internet, I know only what they want
me to know.

13. Love or money?
One needs both in life- Loveless is hard in a different
way than moneyless

14. Credit cards or cash?
Cash

15. Has there ever been anyone in your family you wish wasn't?
not even close, All good people- pretty lucky or maybe the
greatest generation knew what they were doing.
Thanks Mom & Dad, God bless you both, and thank you for
all you did for me and your service to our country.
(Both were WWII veterans, Dad Navy- Mom Army Nurse)

16. Would you rather go camping or to a 5 star hotel?
5-Star hotel, used to be camping- X decades ago

17. What is the weirdest place you have had sex?
I lost (strange word for that-I gave it up willingly)my virginity on a large flat rock in the warm sun in a clearing in the forest. Beautiful really, not weird.

18. Would you shave your entire body (including your head)
for money
Yes- almost shaved my head on a dare- settled for shaving
my mustach- had it since my 21st B-day

19. Have you ever been to a strip club?
only once, except to do safety inspections while on duty. Gotta make sure the girls are safe, especially the dressing rooms

20. Ever been to a bar?
Yes, only once

21. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club?
No, I'm a nice guy (not really happy with that
description of me anymore)girls never have a one nighter
with 'nice' guys, and when a lady says that to me I hear
"you have no chance with me" and a little air goes out
of my sails. Maybe I'm full of shit with this- if so,
just ignore this part.

22. Kissed someone of the same sex?
No! , not that there's anything wrong with that.

23. Favorite alcoholic drink?
Good wine, mostly red and sparkling, Scotch, Beefeater Gin

24. Had sex in a movie theater?
best I ever did was 2nd base, Do they still say that? LOL
25. Had sex in a bathroom?
No

26. Have you ever had sex at work?
No, and there are beds everywhere!

27. Have you ever been in an "adult" store?
once

28. Bought something from an adult store?
once

29. Have you been caught having sex?
almost

30. Does anyone have naughty pics of u?
No, not even me- thinking about it though

31. Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?
Sadly, there are so few names I remember every one. NO

32. Who do you think has the guts to repost this?
lots, the tough questions are gone.

Anybody know where the full list of questions is?

My best friend got married last week, he asked me to handle the wedding cake for him, the bride was busy organizeing his bachelor party. WTF? So here is a foto of the cake. I have 1 piece leftover- guess which piece--
anybody out there want the last piece?






Maybe there's a reason men don't order wedding cakes.

Thanks for the help, you know who you are,MUAH!

I am working today with the first Firemedic on the scene at the tripple mauling by a tiger on Christmas day. She is the lady in the videos all over the news for a couple. It was a wild call, with the tiger making a lunge for the fire & police. The tiger was sitting next to one of the surviving victims, with the victim sitting up, in shock. When the units arrived and got out of the vehicles, the tiger began swatting the victim again, then turned and lunged from about 75 feet toward all the crews. The 2 officers opened fire (9mm or 40cal are the usual) In 3-4 leaps the tiger made it to within 10 feet of the crews, with the policce fireing away, before dropping. The tiger was hit 3 times (not sure if that number proved accurate) out of 15-20 rounds fired. Not a good ratio, but all things considered it did the job, and who could do better while being charged by a 350 pound tiger? Turns out the tiger may have been taunted with slingshots before escaping. The PD has some cell phones as evidence that might have video evidence on them. Terrible for all involved- including the tiger.

I got this message from a cousin in Hawaii

A "Heads Up" for those of you who may be regulars at Foodland.

Over the last month a I became a victim of a clever scam while shopping .
Simply going out to get groceries has turned out to be quite traumatic.
Please - don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you!

Here is how the scam works"


Two seriously good-looking 21 year old girls come over to your vehicle as you are packing your shopping items into your vehicle. they both start wiping residue off your windshield, lights, mirrors, etc. with a rag and windex, with their chests almost falling out of their skimpy outfits. It is impossible not to look! When you thank them and offer them a tip, they
say, "No, instead can we have a ride to Kilauea?"

You of course agree and they get in the back seat. On the way, they start undressing, then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet!

I had my wallet stolen November 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th. 17th, 20th & 24th. Also December 1st, 3rd, twice on the 7th, and three times just yesterday and very likely again this upcoming weekend.

So please, be very careful and tell your friends to be careful as well.
This has been a public service message.

I went to an Elks Club crab feed last night, ate too much-drank way too much, I did entertain the table though- I am VERY witty with a bottle of lip lube (wine) on board (in my own mind at least) Funny how booze makes me wittier, sing great, dance great, look better etc. Does it do that for you too? LOL A young lady seated next to me, that brought her dad, laughed the whole time, with or at me I don't know. I liked loking at her though, she was curvey- reminded me of BEB and Sexycurves, sooo sexy. They had a magician perform after dinner, OK show. Slept like a rock till 3am then awake/asleep till 8.

The Check Engine light came on again $400 this time- I hope they got it right!! Thanks for looking.
Mort

Last night my sister and I were sitting in the den and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle to keep me alive. That would be no quality of life at all. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."



So she got up, unplugged the computer, and threw out my wine.

She's such a bitch. :0)

(any similarity to any person, living or dead is purely coincidental.)