The 11th Husband !!!
A young man married a beautiful woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands.
On their wedding night, she told her new husband to "Please be gentle; I'm still a virgin."
"What ?" said the puzzled groom.
"How can that be if you've been married ten times?"
"Well, husband #1 was a Sales Representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
"Husband #2 was in Software Services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function; but he said he'd look into it and get back with me.
"Husband #3 was from Field Services; he said that everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn't get the system up.
" Husband #4 was in Telemarketing;
even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able
to deliver.
"Husband #5 was an Engineer ; he understood the basic process but he wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new
state-of-the-art method
"Husband #6 was from Administration;
he thought he knew how but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not.
"Husband #7 was in Marketing;
although he had a product, he was never sure how to position it.
"Husband #8 was a Psychiatrist;
all he did was talk about it.
"Husband #9 was a Gynecologist;
all he did was look at it.
"Husband #10 was a Stamp Collector;
all he ever did was........... God I miss him !!.
"But now that I've married you, I'm so excited".
"Wonderful", said the husband, "but why ?
"You're with the "GOVERNMENT". .
This time I KNOW I'M gonna get SCREWED."

An Aussie truckie walks into an outback cafe' with a full-grown emu behind him.


The waitress asks them for their orders.

The truckie says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke,' and turns to the emu, 'What's yours?'
'Sounds great, I'll have the same,' says the emu.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change and pays.

The next day, the man and the emu come again and he says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke.'
The emu says, ' Sounds great, I'll have the same.'

Again the truckie reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.

'No, it's Friday night, so I'll have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man..
' Same for me,' says the emu.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me mate, how do you manage to always pull the exact change from your pocket every time?'

'Well, love' says the truckie, 'a few years ago, I was cleaning out the back shed, and found an old lamp. When I cleaned it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.


My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'

'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want, for as long as you live!'

'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there.' says the man.

Still curious the waitress asks, 'What's with the bloody emu?'


The truckie pauses, sighs, and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall bird with a big arse and long legs, who agrees with everything I say.

COURAGE?

What is the meaning of courage?

Is it standing up to a bully you know is going to kick your ass?

Is it to fly a fighter in combat?

Is it to practice free falling parachuting?

Is it to insult your boss?

Is it asking a someone to dance you know will say ..'NO'...?

Is it getting on a football field weighing 150 lb's and
everyone else weighs 300..?

Is it stopping a bullet meant for the prez..?

Is it recovering from a nasty divorce..?

Is it losing your first 'love'..?

Bullshit.........those are nothing!



THIS IS COURAGE!

Apparently they didn't consider the sun when designing this wall.........

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