thanks again for all your comments and pm's.
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Saturday, July 11, 2009, 10:18:50 PM- Amazing Holes....] | ||||||
1. Kimberley Big Hole - South Africa Apparently the largest ever hand-dug excavation in the world, this 1097-meter-deep mine yielded over three tons of diamonds before being closed. 2. Glory Hole - Monticello Dam, California This is the Glory Hole at Monticello Dam, and it's the largest in the world of this type of spillway, its size enabling it to consume 14,400 cubic feet of water every second. A glory hole is used when a dam is at full capacity and water needs to be drained from the reservoir. 3 Great Blue Hole , Belize This incredible geographical phenomenon known as a blue hole is situated 60 miles off the mainland of Belize. There are numerous blue holes around the world but none as stunning as this one. 4 Sinkhole in Guatemala This photo is of a sinkhole that occurred February 2007 in Guatemala . It swallowed two dozen homes and killed at least three people. 5. This is the famous Rat Hole. It is capable of swallowing Millions of Tax Payers Money annually, never to be heard from again! It is reputed to contain at least 600 ass"holes". | ||||||
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Friday, July 10, 2009, 11:20:17 PM- ok back | ||||||
well sort of!!!! took me some time to get my email back on,just need all the addresses now!!! got to move all our stuff off the old drive from the old pc. got this in a caddy pluged in to the new one. liked some of the old type toolbar,still getting my head round the new ones. | ||||||
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Wednesday, July 8, 2009, 10:44:12 PM- if we go missing | ||||||
its only because i've fucked up setting up the new pc(well new to me) | ||||||
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Tuesday, July 7, 2009, 6:08:32 AM- Thanks to foxy for this one.xxx | ||||||
A nun who went to the doctors because she was feeling sick was told she was pregnant. Totally dumbfounded due to severe shock at the news, the next day she stormed into the monastry where the monks live and shouted "right, which one of you dirty bastards has been wanking over the candles?"!! | ||||||
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Monday, July 6, 2009, 12:54:08 PM- Lost at Sea | ||||||
Lost at Sea Two Irishmen, Patrick & Michael, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, Patrick stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To his amazement, a genie appeared. Now, this particular genie stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter, Patrick blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into Guinness Beer!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of Guinness on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances. Michael looked disgustedly at Patrick whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going Patrick! Now we're going to have to piss in the boat!' ' | ||||||
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Sunday, July 5, 2009, 10:52:52 PM- IDEOLOGY AND RELIGION SHIT LIST | ||||||
Taoism: Shit Happens Confucianism: Confucius say, "Shit happens." Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit. Zen Buddhism: Shit is, and is not. Zen Buddhism2 What is the sound of shit happening? Hinduism: This shit has happened before. Islam: if shit happens, it is the will of Allah. Islam2: if shit happens, kill the person responsible. Islam3: if shit happens, blame Israel. Catholicism: if shit happens, you deserve it. Protestantism: Let shit happen to someone else. Presbyterian: This shit was bound to happen. Episcopalian:it's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it. congregationalist Shit that happens to one person is just as good as shit that happens to another. Unitarian: Shit that happens to one person is just as badas shit that happens to another. Lutheran: if shit happens, don't talk about it. Fundamentalism: if shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!) Fundamentalism2: if shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay. Fundamentalism3: Shit must be- born again- Judaism. why does this shit always happen to us? Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work. Seventh Day Adventism No shit shall happen an Saturday. Creationism: God made all shit. Secular Humanism: Shit evolves. Christian Science: When shit happens, don't call a doctor pray. Christian Science2: Shit happening is all in your mind. unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this shit. Quakers: Let us not fight over this shit. Utopianism: This shit does not stink. Darwinism: This shit was once food. Capitalism: That's MY shit. Communism: it's everybody's shit. Chauvanism: We may be shit, but you can't live without us ... Commercialism: Let's package this shit. impressionism: From a distance, shit looks like a garden. idolism: Let's bronze this shit. Existentialism: Shit doesn't happen; shit IS. Existentialism2: what is shit, anyway? stoicism: This shit is good for me. Hedonism: There is nothing like a good shit happening! Mormonism: God sent us this shit. Mormonism This shit is going to happen again. wiccan: An it harm none, let shit happen. Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics", p.157. Jehovah's Witnesses: May we have a moment of your time to show you Jehovah's Witnesses Shit has been prophesied and is imminent; only righteous shall survive its happening. Moonies: Only really happy shit happens. Hare Krishna: Shit happens, rama rama. Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit! Zoroastrianism: Shit happens half on the time. Church of SubGenius: BoB shits. Practical: Deal with shit one day at a time. Agnostic: Shit might have happened; then again, maybe not. Agnostic2: Did someone shit? Agnostic3: what is this shit? satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS. Atheism: What shit? Atheism2: I can't believe this shit! nihilism: No shit | ||||||
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Sunday, July 5, 2009, 11:47:28 AM- zodiac signs | ||||||
Below are true descriptions of zodiac signs, with traits from a book written 35 years ago by an astrologist predictionist. V • I • R • G • O: The Whore Dominant in relationships. Sexy. someone loves them right now. Freak in bed. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Intellectual. Attractive. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Hard to forget. Love at first sight. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. The one and only. Ultimate sexiness.Great kisser. S • C • O • R • P • I • O: The lover Can be mean somtimes, and will Probably knock your ass out, if crossed the wrong way!! EXTREMELY sexy. Intelligent. Energetic. Predict future. Most erotic. (Freak in bed.) (GREAT kisser.) Always get what they want. Sexy. Attractive. Easy going. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. The sexiest ever....Romantic. Caring. L • I • B • R • A: The sex addict Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone They meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique sexiness. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing n Bed..!!! Did I say Amazing in Bed? not the kind of person you wanna fuck with... u might end up crying... the most irresistible.Rare 2 find. Funny. Talkitive. Erotic. Smart. loves sports. gets what he/she wants. Loves to be in a relationship. A • R • I • E • S: The Sexiest Outgoing. Lovable. Spontanious. Not one to fuck with. Erotic. Funny. Take you on trips to the moon in bed. Excellent kisser EXTREMELY sexy. Loves being in long relationships.=) Addictive. Loud. best in bed. A • Q • U • A • R • I • U • S: Does it in the water Trustworthy. Sexy. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Extremely energetic and funny. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a Fighter, But will Knock the shit out of u. The best and biggest freak in bed! Considered to be a "G". G • E • M • I • N • I: Ultra Sexy Nice. Love is one of a kind. Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you the fuck out. Trustworthy. Always happy. Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING.Horny. Freak in Bed. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. ULTRA SEXY. THE MOST IRRESISTABLE. L • E • O: wild in bed Great talker. Sexy and passionate. Laid back. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at a lot. Great kisser. Unpredictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Loyal.Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Great when found. C • A • N • C • E • R: Most Amazing Kisser Very high sex appeal. Great in bed!!! Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet! Entirely creative. Extremely random and proud of it. Freak in bed. Spontaneous. Great tellin stories. Not a Fighter, But will Knock your lights out if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to. P • I • S • C • E • S: The Weird One Caring and kind. Smart. Center of attention. Too Sexy, DAMN IT. Very high SEX appeal. Has the last word. The best to find, hardest to keep. Fun to be around. Freak in the sheets. Extremely weird but in a good way. Super good in bed. Good Sense of Humor!!! Thoughtful. A partner for life. Always gets what he or she wants. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. C • A • P • R • I • C • O • R • N: The Passionate Lover Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Predict future. Irrestible, awesome kisser.gets what he or she wants. BY FAR the BEST in BED. Very sexy. Coolest. Loves to own Gemini's in sports.Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Loves to be your first. So you'll never forget. Smart. T • A • U • R • U • S: The Freak in bed Aggressive. Freak in bed. Rare to find! Loves being in long relationships Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Sexy as ...u no!..... Loves to help people in times of need. Outstanding kisser. Very funny. Awesome personality. Stubborn. Sexual as ......... Most caring person you will ever meet! One of a kind. Not one to fuck with. Are the most sexiest people on earth! S • A • G • I • T • T • A • R • I • U • S. The Sexy one Spontaneous. Horny. Freak in Bed. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. The one. So much love to give. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone They meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Most caring person you will ever meet! Not the kind of person you wanna mess with you might end up crying. | ||||||
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Saturday, July 4, 2009, 11:17:32 PM- well i never! | ||||||
This has got to be one of the cleverest emails I've received in a while. Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble! DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT THE EYES: When you rearrange the letters: THEY SEE GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY ELECTION RESULTS: When you rearrange the letters: LIES - LET'S RECOUNT SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE: MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER | ||||||
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Saturday, July 4, 2009, 11:13:30 AM- HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY? (Written by kids) | ||||||
HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY? (Written by kids) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. -- Alan, age 10 No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. -- Kristen, age 10 WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED? Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. -- Camille, age 10 HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED? You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. -- Derrick, age 8 WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON? Both don't want any more kids. -- Lori, age 8 WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE? Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. -- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure) On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. -- Martin, age 10 WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR? I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. -- Craig, age 9 WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? When they're rich. -- Pam, age 7 The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that. -- Curt, age 7 The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. -- Howard, age 8 IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED? It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. -- Anita, age 9 (bless you child) HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED? There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? -- Kelvin, age 8 And the #1 Favourite is........ HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK? Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck. -- Ricky, age 10 | ||||||
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Friday, July 3, 2009, 11:27:37 PM- A young man shopping in a supermarket | ||||||
A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore, she kept staring at him. She finally overtook him at the checkout, and she turned to him and said, "I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease; it's just that you look so much like my late son." He answered, "That's okay." "I know it's silly, but if you'd call out 'Good bye, Mom' as I leave the store, it would make me feel so happy." She then went through the checkout, and as she was on her way out of the store, the man called out, "Goodbye, Mom." The little old lady waved and smiled back at him. Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine into someone's day, he went to pay for his groceries. "That comes to $121.85," said the clerk. "How come so much? I only bought 5 items." The clerk replied, "Yeah, but your mother said you'd be paying for her things, too." Don't trust little Old Ladies!!! | ||||||
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