show your tits friday.
out and about today takeing new photos and vids. got lots to post.

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. -
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox, when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only 1 check left.

My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.

I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered.

I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.

So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

----the car isn't washed,
----the bills aren't paid,
----there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter,
----the flowers don't have enough water,
----there is still only 1 check in my check book,
----I can't find the remote,
----I can't find my glasses,
----and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.

Do me a favor, will you? Forward this message to everyone you know, because I don't remember to whom it has been sent.

Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!

GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL. LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC.

P.S. I just remembered, I LEFT THE WATER RUNNING IN THE DRIVEWAY!

Little boy stands on a butterfly.
Dad says 'no butter for a week'.
A few days later little boy jumps on a honeybee, Dad says 'no honey for a week'.
A few days later mum's in the kitchen and stands on a cockroach.
The little boy looks at his dad and says 'are you going to tell her or shall i?

Now if that's not a reason to give up McDonald's, I don't know what is!!!!

One day a young cowboy and cowgirl decided to get married. After the wedding they left for their honeymoon. While driving down the road,the new bride sees two cows having sex.
The new bride asks, "What are they doing honey?"
The husband answers, "They're roping!"
She replies, "Oh, I see!"

After a few more hours of driving they pass two horses having sex.
Again the bride asks, "What are they doing honey?"
The husband answers, "They're roping!"
She replies, "Oh, I see!"

Finally they arrive at their hotel. The couple washed up and started to get ready for bed. When they got in the bed, they started to explore each others body. The bride discovers her husbands penis.

"What is that?" she asks.
"That's my rope," he answers.

She slides her hands down further and gasps, "What are those?" she asks "They're my knots," he answers.

Finally the couple begins to make love. After several minutes the bride says, "Stop honey, wait a minute!
Her husband asks, "What's the matter honey, am I hurting you?"
"No," the bride replies, "undo those knots, I need more rope.

some trivia titbits for you....

It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach….

One human hair can support 3 kg (6 lb)….

The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb…..

Human thighbones are stronger than concrete…..

A woman's heart beats faster than a man's…..

There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet……

Women blink twice as often as men……

The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain……

Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still…..

If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it…..

Men who read this are probably still busy checking their thumbs……………

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.
You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time.
You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.
You'll fight with your best friend.
You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.
You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love.
So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

Four women and their toddler-age children are in a group therapy session. The therapist asks the first woman what her child's name is.

"Her name is Amber."
"Hmm...you have an obsession with riches and luxury. We'll help you overcome that." He turns to the second woman and asks her the same question.

"My daughter's name is Candy."
"You seem to have a preoccupation with food. We can help you with that. And you, what's your daughter's name?"

"Brandy."
"You're focused toward alcohol...we can help with that."

The fourth woman grabs her son by the hand and says "C'mon Dick, let's go."

August 19 was Einstein's birthday.
Few people remember that the Nobel Prize winner married his
cousin, Elsa Lowenthal, after his first marriage dissolved
in 1919.

He stated that he was attracted to Elsa because she was well
endowed. He postulated that if you are attracted to women
with large breasts, the attraction is even stronger if there
is a DNA connection.

This came to be known as Einstein's Theory of Relative
Titty.