Way down in the out-ports of Newfoundland, Murph's old lady had been pregnant for some time and now the time had come.
He brought her to the doctor and the doctor began to deliver the baby.
She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Murphy and said.
'Hey, Murph! You just had you a son!'Ain't dat grand!!'
Murph got excited by this, but just then the doctor spoke up and said,
'Hold on! We ain't finished yet!'The doctor then delivered a little girl.
He said, 'Hey, Murph! You got you a daughter!!!! She is a pretty lil ting, too....'
Murph got kind of puzzled by this and then the doctor said, 'Hold on, we ain't got done yet!'
The doctor then delivered another boy and said, 'Murph, you just had yourself another boy!'
Murph said to the doctor, 'Doc, what caused all of dem babies?'
The doctor said, 'You never know Murph, it was probably something that happened during conception.'
Murph said, 'Ah yeah, during conception.'When Murph
and his wife went home with their three children, he sat down with his wife and said,
'Mama, you remember dat night that we ran out of Vaseline and we had to use dat dere 3-in-1 Oil.'
She said, 'Yeah, I remember dat night...'
Murph said, 'I'll tell you, bye, it's a fookin' good ting we didn't use dat WD-40!!'

going to egypt for the 5th time soon,we met out there in 1990 on holiday, still together now!!! going out this time with two of my daughters(10 and 22)
will post some pyramid photos when i scan them in.

outside the valley of the kings in 1990. bike is one i borrowed from one of the locals for the day.

on the road up to the valley,house in the background was howard carters,which south tryed to break in to,said she wanted to look around.


was up in cairo one time waiting for a taxi outside the museum to take us to the train station,got talking the the guards there and bought most of one's uniform!!!!

Hi blogers

Over the past few weeks I have received many funny images/jokes and have emailed them to friends who I thought shared the same sense of humor.

Unfortunately, I seemed to have upset a few people and received criticism for being sexist and shallow.

So, from now on I am only emailing pictures of old monuments, nature and other cultural sights which are educational for your mind.

Here is a picture of the Pont Neuf Bridge in Toulouse , France .


Take a look at this great shot of the CN-Tower in Toronto.

Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors.

Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic the other residents tolerated her and some of them actually joined in.
One day Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. 'STOP!,' he shouted in a firm voice. 'Have you got a license for that thing?' Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him. 'OK' he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall. As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, weird Harold popped out in front of her and shouted 'STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?' Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster and held it up to him. Harold nodded and said 'On your way, Ma'am.'
As Ethel neared the final corridor, Crazy Craig stepped out in front of her, Butt- Naked, and holding his 'You-Know- What' in his hand. 'Oh, good grief,' yelled Ethel, 'Not that Damn Breathalyzer Test again.!!!'

We all know those cute little computer symbols called 'emoticons,' where:
means a smile and
is a frown.
Sometimes these are represented by


Well, how about some 'ARSE-ICONS?'
Here goes:
(_!_) a regular arse

(__!__) a fat arse

(!) a tight arse

(_*_) a sore arse

{_!_} a swishy arse

(_o_) an arse that's been around

(_x_) kiss my arse

(_X_) leave my arse alone
(_zzz_) a tired arse

(_E=mc2_) a smart arse

(_$_) Money coming out of his arse
(_?_) Dumb arse

You have just been e-mooned! Send
this to 5 people within the next hour and you will be blessed with people laughing at your e-mail.
This is NOT a chain letter, so if you don't mail it out, you won't have bad luck. (But who wouldn't want to e-Moon a friend?)

Hope This explains why I forward Jokes.

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery,

when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years.

He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road.

It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.



When he was close enough, he called out, 'Excuse me, where are we?'

'This is Heaven, sir,' the man answered.

'Wow! Would you happen to have some water?' the man asked.

'Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up.'

The man gestured, and the gate began to open.

'Can my friend,' gesturing toward his dog, 'come in, too?' the traveler asked.

'I'm sorry; sir, but we don't accept pets.'



The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.



After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.

As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.

'Excuse me!' he called to the man. 'Do you have any water?'

'Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in.'

'How about my friend here?' the traveler gestured to the dog.

'There should be a bowl by the pump.'

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.

The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.

When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.

'What do you call this place?' the traveler asked.

'This is Heaven,' he answered.


'Well, that's confusing,' the traveler said. 'The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.'

'Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell.'

'Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?'

'No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.'

Soooo ...

Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word.

Maybe this will explain.



When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do? You forward jokes.

When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward jokes.

When you have something to say, but don't know what, and don't know how, you forward jokes.

Also to let you know that you are still remembered, you are still important, you are still loved, you are still cared for, guess what you get?

A forwarded joke.

So, next time if you get a joke, don't think that you've been sent just another forwarded joke,but that you've been thought of today and your friend on the other end of your computer wanted to send you a smile.



You are all welcome @ my water bowl anytime

There are two guys who have been lost in the desert for weeks, and they're at death's door.

As they stumble on, hoping for salvation in the form of an oasis or something similar, they suddenly spy, through the heat haze, a small tree off in the distance.

As they get closer, they can see that the tree is draped with rasher upon rasher of bacon. There's smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life-giving juicy nearly-raw bacon, all sorts. And the smell... oh, the glorious smell!

"Look Pepe," says the first man. "It's.... a bacon tree!"

"You're right!" says Pepe, "We're saved!"

Pepe doesn't wait another second. He runs up to the tree salivating at the prospect of food.

But just as he gets to within five feet of the tree, there's the sound of machine gun fire, and he is shot down in a hail of bullets.

His friend quickly drops down on the sand, and calls across to the dying Pepe.

"Pepe!! Pepe!! What on earth happened?"

And with his dying breath Pepe calls back: "Ugh, run, RUN!! Eet's not..... a Bacon...... Tree...... "

"Eeets...."



"....eets....."



"...eets a ham bush!"

Don't know if it is all true but it is............................................
VERY INTERESTING STUFF

In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have 'the rule of thumb.

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Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled 'Gentlemen Only....Ladies Forbidden'...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.

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The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

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Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury.

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Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

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Coca-Cola was originally green.

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It is impossible to lick your elbow.

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Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

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The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

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The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

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Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:

Spades - King David

Hearts - Charlemagne

Clubs -Alexander, the Great

Diamonds - Julius Caesar

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111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

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If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

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Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?

A. Obsession

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Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter 'A'?

A. One thousand

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Q. What do bullet-proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?

A. All were invented by women.

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Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?

A. Honey

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In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... 'goodnight, sleep tight.'

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It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.

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In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them 'Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.' It's where we get the phrase 'mind your P's and Q's'

--------------------------------------------

Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. 'Wet your whistle' is the phrase inspired by this practice.

--------------------------------------------

At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!

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- Now....Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it.

I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in what oredr the ltteers in a word are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is that the first and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it wouthit a porbelm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh?

---------------------------------------------

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2009 when...

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.

~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~


NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.
Go on, forward this to your friends. You know you want to!