and this one wanted to go back.

This is a story about A Fly, a Fish, a Bear, A Hunter, a Mouse and a Cat.

There is a moral to this story.....
In the dead of summer a fly was resting among leaves beside a stream.

The hot, dry fly said to no one in particular, 'Gosh...if I go down three inches I will feel the mist from the water and I will be refreshed.'

There was a fish in the water thinking, 'Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches, I can eat him.'

There was a bear on the shore thinking, 'Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches that fish will jump for the fly... And I will grab the fish!!'

It also happened that a hunter was farther up the bank of the lake preparing to eat a cheese sandwich. 'Gosh,' he thought, 'if that fly goes down three inches and that fish leaps for it that bear will expose himself and grab for the fish. I'll shoot the bear and have a proper lunch.'

Now, you probably think this is enough activity on one river bank, but I can tell you there's more....

A wee mouse by the hunter's foot was thinking, 'Gosh, if that fly goes down three inches. and that fish jumps for that fly and that bear grabs for that fish. the dumb hunter will shoot the bear and drop his cheese sandwich.'

A cat lurking in the bushes took in this scene and thought, (as was fashionable to do on the banks of this particular river around lunch time) 'Gosh...if that fly goes down three inches and that fish jumps for that fly and that bear grabs for that fish and that hunter shoots that bear and that mouse makes off with the cheese sandwich then I can have mouse for lunch.'

The poor fly is finally so hot and so dry that he heads down for the cooling mist of the water.

The fish swallows the fly...
The bear grabs the fish.
The hunter shoots the bear..
The mouse grabs the cheese sandwich...
The cat jumps for the mouse..
The mouse ducks...
The cat falls into the water and drowns.

NOW, The Moral Of The Story.... Whenever a fly goes down three inches, some pussy's gonna be in serious danger.

THE FIRST TIME!

Aren't all gifts free?

destroy all evidence that you tried.

The 'L I T T L E ' Things.



As you might know, the head of a company survived
9/11 because his son started kindergarten.


Another fellow was alive because it was
His turn to bring donuts.


One woman was late because her
Alarm clock didn't go off in time.


One was late because of being stuck on the NJ Turnpike
Because of an auto accident.


One of them
Missed his bus.


One spilled food on her clothes and had to take
Time to change.


One's
Car wouldn't start.


One went back to
Answer the telephone.


One had a child that dawdled
And didn't get ready as soon as he should have.


One couldn't
Get a taxi.

The one that struck me was the man
Who put on a new pair of shoes that morning,
Took the various means to get to work
But before he got there, he developed
a blister on his foot.
He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid.
That is why he is alive today.


Now when I am
Stuck in traffic ,
Miss an elevator,
Turn back to answer a ringing telephone...
All the little things that annoy me.
I think to myself,
This is exactly where
God wants me to be at this very moment...

Next time your morning seems to be
Going wrong.

The children are slow getting dressed,
You can't seem to find the car keys,
You hit every traffic light,
Don't get mad or frustrated;
God is at work watching over you.

May God continue to bless you
With all those annoying little things
And may you remember their possible purpose.

...

AMEN

Roses are red,
or are they blue?
Hell I don't know
but I do like you.

I love you more
than my truck's tires.
Yer more useful than my
old rusty pliers.

You cook a good deer
and fry a good egg,
just wish you'd shave that
hair off your legs.

If you decide not to do it, Pumkin Face,
It's okay, I'll still feel the same,
I'll just keep on tellin my buddies,
yer up fer a part in Planet of the Apes.

Yer my pride and joys,
What a lady!
But hows come we do it
only when it's my payday?

When I ran over ya with my truck,
you didn't even say "ouch."
And you are so cute,
when you wipe your boogers under the couch.

I hope we stay together,
at least a couple more days-
cuz I'm really horny
and I want to get laid.

the big hill always draws you back.