I have to apologise to everyone who is worried by my absence for the past few days, I am just full of a cold and feeling lousy. I could really do to swap spit or other bodily fluids with someone to try to hasten this nasty bugs retreat. I have also been engrossed in watching the live cycling (Tour De France) I have been utterly impressed the all the new comers efforts thus far. We are certainly witnessing some 'maillot jaune' winners of the future thats quite evident.

I have to also mention that I am slightly bored playing in status, I have often proclaimed status has changed these past few months. So many of the friends I would play with daily are no longer participating and the whole vibe at least for me is different. To be frank, my whole involvement with the site has diminished considerably and I cant really offer you an explanation for that. I have admittedly been spending less and less time in cyber world. It used to be my escape from reality, but I am beginning to get very bored with cyber world and it is no longer feeding my need for escapism. Maybe I am just going through a 'stop the world I want to get off' phase. I have some personal issues I am still trying to deal with, I am fighting the social security system, who insist I work as I have full mobility in my right arm. But the left side of my body is still very painful and I certainly do not have full mobility in my left arm as yet. I still cant fully stretch it out above my head or reach my bra strap. I have not fully stretched out my body as yet, its is far too painful, but the government is forcing me to work.

Also in this country, if you own a television that is plugged into any receiver device (satellite receiver, freeview box, or an ariel) if you are capable of receiving a live broadcast feed, then you must pay the BBC £145 for the privilege, if you watch BBC or not. I feel this is so wrong, if you fail to obtain a tv license and they can prove you stream live broadcasts. they can then take you to court, where you are not only fined, but you then also have a criminal record. they even force blind people to buy a licence, I mean come on how can that be right?? So I have never bought a licence, I have been finned so many times and I now owe the court system £185 in none payment of tv licence fines going back to 1992. I went back to court recently, as I now have a 'either you pay the £185 or go to prison for two weeks'suspended sentence hanging over my head. I am refusing to pay that preferring to go to prison do the time and then not pay the fine. I am due to make a payment on or before the 21st of this month, so I reckon I have at least two weeks after that before I am 'summons to appear' in a magistrate court that has no jurisdiction in any case. The magistrates are laymen/women, business people who are not under oath as is the high court judges. So wrong but I am not paying them a dam penny, they can get stuffed. if more people realised that the BBC is a company, whos product I dont wish to buy. If more people understood it is not law to own a tv license and it is just a way to con money out of people who dont know their rights and say no thanks. you would say the same to anyone on your doorstep trying to sell you something you dont require wouldnt you? So why not the BBC??? Then maybe things would change and this outlandish demand by the BBC would, should be abolished and many innocent people wouldnt then have a criminal record because of the BB bloody C.

Off my soap box, I will let you all know when I am back in court, but I have no intention whatsoever of paying another penny and I am fully prepared to do the time instead. I best shut up, I will try my best to catch up with blogs, see how you are all doing. Thanks to everyone who were concerned enough to get intouch asking if I am ok, I have just done my usual gone to ground thing and I will be back with you all when I am feeling slightly healthier. You takecare my friends all my love as always Kas xxxx

Forgive me Howlin, I couldnt resist this.....

The Greatest Invention

The inventor Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, died and went to heaven.

At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur,"Since you've been such a good man and your Motorcycles have changed the world,your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven."

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God."

St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.

Arthur then asked God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of women?

"God said, "Ah, yes. "

"Well, " said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention."

God was somewhat taken back, and when He asked what the flaws might be, Arthur Davidson produced a list for Him to read.

1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusions
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds.
3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much.
4. The intake is placed way to close to the exhaust and finally,
5. The maintenance costs are outrageous.

"Hmmmm, you may have some good points there and it may be true that My invention is flawed... " God said to Arthur.

"But the last time that I checked, more men are riding My invention than yours."

This is for all of my girls and boys who I like to dance with, you know who you all are, the rest of you wont like it....Just crank it up and move people.......


I will do a 'where is your head at' blog for you all soon, I am so far, so good though xx

Apologies to all of you who have got in touch recently. I have been so unwell now for three days. I think I have some nasty evil bug cruising my system and today is the first day I have woke up and not vomited (although as I write this, I feel a vomit is imminent)I dont do 'get ill' but when I do it is usually with some style. Its the start of the Tour De France today, just a time trial, but it could be a chance for the Manchester chap, Bradley Wiggins to win this stage and to wear the yellow jersey on the real start of the tour out on the roads tomorrow. We are all looking to Mark Cavendish to retain the green jersey again this year too, he is from the Isle of Man which is not far from me. So fingers crossed for the two north west guys. I should also mention Cadel Evans, he rode so well last year and went on to win the yellow jersey overall, so good luck to the Aussie )

I am not at all sure how long I can sit here, it the first time I have turned this on in days and my inboxes are pretty busy. I just want to let you all know I am alive, of sorts and I will answer your messages when I am feeling more up to it. I hope your all well though, I will read some blogs and try to catch up. I am hoping to be feeling much better tomorrow, looking good so far as not thrown up yet since last night and I have managed to keep down some camomile tea. It has not be pleasant whatever it was, but I should be back playing tomorrow.

Takecare all and have agood weekend love Kas xxxx

By Randomer, I like being random, its more drum and bass so apologies...

Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful. ~Buddha

Blowing the dust of some of my music, found this one I love, its old skool and sometimes you really want to shout it at the top of your voice..


Have agood safe weekend people and take care xx

I had mentioned afew times about wanting to get down the River to watch, for the last time this year, the early Dawn. I think the actual alignment wasnt until about 11pm last night, so I was looking forward to watching the sun rise this morning. But mother nature once again, had other ideas. It started to rain as I got down there, then just didnt stop, I found my usual sheltering spot, when I need a smoke in iffy weather down there, under some pretty mature bushy Trees, got cosy and smiled. The rain was hammering down for sometime, I could still hear all the different birds gradually start to herald the dawning of a new day. I even heard a Cuckoo from across the River when the rain eased alittle. Sadly, there was no spectacular sun rise to witness, no Sun rays. But that didnt bother me in the slightest, I smiled all way through it, coming home rather wet cold but feeling pretty good. )

Another quick story for you...I have recently been swapping emails with this guy from a dating web site, seemed to be going ok, we agreed to meet in the future soon. He lives in a place called Hebdan Bridge, which isnt that far from me and across the border into Yorkshire. But me being the honest me, admitted I like to smoke, as in smoke the dope. I got the feeling this might be an issue with him from the very first email, as he had stopped smoking and wanted to get as far away from it as possible. I felt I needed to be open about it with him. So he basically blew me off yesterday morning, I understand completely, I also intend to stop myself one day. I really have to take alook at myself and who really am and from who I have been running away. I also need to do that with a very clear head and for now the thought terrifies me of who I really am.

Then my besty Helen turned up yesterday lunchtime to go out for the day, which I had totally forgotten about arranging with her and said we are going to Hebdan bridge for a drive out. No knowledge at all with what had occurred, talk about coincidence! We had an excellent day out, saw some fantastic views and scenery. I wasnt able to take any pictures as I am still waiting for my new camera to arrive. We were both giggling at the thought at being in the same area as my lost potential shag (well you never know)! We didnt see him at all, despite it being a small place, I did have a face picture to go on though, but sadly I didnt get the chance to say hello. I am laughing about it all and the Universe at work again with that situation no doubt.

So we once more begin our slow tilt away from the Sun and year grows older. I know I am already having a really good Summer so far compared with the previous two years, I am almost free of whatever it was that have fought for soo long, I am really close to being able to fully stretch out, arms above the head 'wow that was good' kind of stretch out. Which I have not been able to do now since it all happened back in Feb last year. I can still feel 'it' slightly in my left arm and my left leg. I was told after an Heart attack it is always the left hand side that takes the longest to recover. I would say perhaps, but I know how my body feels and I listen to what it has to say to me. Hey but what do I know?? I am just an ex Heroin smoker right? Makes me cross even now to think no one listened to me at my surgery. Deep breaths and cleanse....

Thank you so very much you special few who help make this all bearable. I am indeed truly blessed with you guys, my love xoxoxo

HAPPY SOLSTICE!!!

[IMG]http://i1107.photobucket.com/albums/h381/cosmickas/solstice.jpg[/IMG]

I will blog some words to the many I have worried, I apologise to you all with my flippant comment. I didnt really think how that comment would affect you, but it was also true, but I am far too much of a coward to go through with it, I am the eternal optimist after all, tomorrow is another day I can fuck up!! I have, as you all know, not really been myself for some months now. Hence the not posting, despite holding lots of pictures to post in my hard drive and not playing with my friends on status as much either. I have let my inner demons take control, they are very powerful, sometimes too powerful to fight. So I tend to retreat within myself internalize all of my thoughts, my feelings, hide away from everyone and put on a front of everything is just fine. When really I am screaming at the top of my lungs,I found blogging really helpful, but I read a comment about 'drama queens' once, I thought oh no (paranoia set in) They must mean me. so I have not written a truthful, how you feeling blog in ages now. Silly I know, so I let the darkness of deep depression take over and I dont think the weather here with us as helped at all, its been so gloomy, raining, high winds and dark. I like others, need that sun to make me smile, which is something I have not done in far too long now. To be frank since my brief affair ended so disastrously, I have really beat myself up about that one. I am a tough old bird, its just sometimes it all just gets too much for me to handle and I know I am far from alone with that one too. I read others blogs, other friends who are suffering in their own way with their demons, with life and often my own problems pail insignificance to theirs. I really cant stress enough how much you special few mean to me, although I do feel I am a crap friend who doesnt mail/pm often enough. My typing is rubbish, but I think of you all everyday and I so wish I could meet each and everyone of you to thank you so much personally for being a part of my world and for bring some light to my darkness. I owe you all so much.

I dont know the answer to depression, I have fought it all my life and I will keep fighting. Its just sometimes, like many of us, I let it win. I am really sorry I worried so many of you, I didnt mean to. There is no getting rid of me yet guys!! I love you all you wonderful people, thank you for being a part of my world no matter how grim it may seem at times. Love and peace kas xoxox

I love High Contrast, its more drum and bass sorry!! Its another pick me up tune I like, which you wont! But it is getting posted anyways, at least one of you should like it out there I know of- thank you Nawty )

The lyrics are so relevant to us all at one point or another, its my pick me up tune....