have you ever wondered at the perfection of timing of something? The person who stopped to help just when you needed it the most... The prayer you'd offered up then gotten a stunningly exact answer, to it.. As if magically given to you? I don't believe in coincidence.. I believe in God or the Universe, the fates. whatever You may call it.. I believe in miracles and wishes, prayers and askance coming true, being made possible when you needed it the most.

I've been struggling under an unbearable load. Piled higher and higher, until I could take it no more... from the seemingly unending battle for divorce.. to financial struggles, serious health concerns for self and daughter... the recent passing of my mother.. and preparing for the loss of her own father, as well... and so much more...

I acknowledge the gift of loving kindness, of selfless giving, and of simplicity in kindness... Of wished hugs, and heart felt prayers and positive... of caring PM's and chatting. Of friends and mostly.. of men in my life suddently reaching out to me, for seemingly no reason... But, I KNOW the purpose fo that desire to reach into my life and be there... I NEEDED the strength of a man in my life, to bouy me up. I am bouyed, strengthened and loved here...I am protected hugged and adored at work.. and discovering that the faith I'd thought I'd lost in people was never gone... The people who love me most... some mere aquaintances in places like this... are friends to me, as surely as the ones I've known for years... I've been blessed, by assistance, that amazed and overwhelmed me, for which I am truly grateful... And I've been loved by some good and dear friends and family. given advice that was exactly what I've needed. and loved as tenderly as if I were really... worth loving...

At a few times.. I ran to men I'd thought would be there, for me... First, to my ex.. felt terribly wrong and I was glad I'd only left with an awkward and hastily refused groping hug. And once again, a man I'd thought wanted to spend the rest of his life with me... I'm so glad that he changed his mind... that he became part of my nightmares for a time... and, for men and women who're true friend reminding me to release that pull he'd had on my strings. I'm learning by the loving kindness of others.. that I'm worth something far greater than I'd imagined.. And do you KNOW how much I adore and love some of you here, because of the roles you've played?? You know who you are... and my grateful heart swells when thinking of each one of you.

I'm also amazed at the timing of people who walk in and out of lives in perfection. Some merely to assist, or be helped... Some to be the one who gives you the hell to bear, in order to learn a very important lesson... While others... are the answer to a prayer that you or, your best friend... your child, or... perhaps... your mother... whispered for you.

This morning I was weighted down with anguish, and pain. The challenges of seperation, divorce, and the loss of the fantsy that that marriage was even close to good, that I'd wrapped myself in as a cocoon, is hard to bear at times. The added loss of a home I'd thought I'd live in, until the day I died, makes it harder. The lesson learned that my daughter is a self-centered user of people is also an added weight, compounding all the rest... It's been hard to bear knowing the truths of my life.

Anyway, I was crying and falling apart... A friend came onto another website(PLATONIC site and friend, people) And sweetly bouyed me up with his positive and cheerful soul. He shared a youtube link with me saying this is for you D***, this is what I feel about you, as your friend.

I've listened to this song several times in the past 24 hours. It helped me, and carried me through a trial filled day. I'm ever gratful for positive souls in my life. For friendship. I've gained friends here that I truly cherish. Just as I've gained them in person. Glorious good friendship can do. I thank you, and blow kisses to the wind to you.And share this song with U.