Drink until your gullet is full,
Make it so your perception is altered,
Close your eyes when you kiss me,
Have a reservoir of excuses for the circumstance,
Do not know when my eyes glaze over looking at you,
Be xxxxxxxxxxx of my cuts and bruises,
Have the best of intentions,
Let the feeling go without mention,
Swing from me to the next so easily and carefree,
Tell me things then slumber away from accountability,
Slay me with an invisible razor called ignorance,
Laugh at me with indifference,
Fucking wound & kill me, let me stagger off to expire on my own,
Let me wallow in my insecurites alone,
Tell me to write of things light and airy,
TO not speak the truth about things real and scary,
Make me the butt of your jokes to place on the tip of your boot,
Wear your sanctimonious libertarian suit,
Tell me to not say sorry when inwardly you relish my guilt,
Twist your obliviousness into my depths to the hilt,
Fuck you, fuck my feelings, fuck my hopes and dreams,
Let the sand from this rag doll fall unnoticed from its seams.

Libations flowed, the mood tranquil and mellow,
Just friends. good friends enjoying a time festive and peaceful,
We went outside to share a conversation and a smoke,
Depth interwined with the brevity of good natured jokes,
We were so close, closer than heaven and earth,
Connected closer than child and mother at birth,
Our words and thoughts, emotions a golden web,
Dancinf together slowly, to our own beat,
Sharing something so real, so tender so sweet,
We saw with eyes not restrtained by light,
We gazed upon one another perfectly at night,
Our lips so close, touching briefly,
Poised to conjoin indefinitely,
And the moment was broken,
A stone cast to skip on the surface and break the perfection,
I have to wonder if it i\was some higher power's selection,
We both laughed uneasily, and created more space,
I tried so hard to hide the agony on my face,
Why am I denied such moments of connection frequently,
I curse and question so vehemently,
I do not know how many grains of sands have been granted to me,
Is this tortuorus proximity all there is to be?

You ever feel like you just can't win. Bills, a shitty economy where the politicians make the fat get fatter, and take more from the working poor. The job market sucks. There are some on here who tout America as being the best country there is, and if you disagree with that you get met with animosity. I don't normally talk politics, but it goes into what I'm saying. If America is great then what is it doing for acutal American citizens? I am not racist, but I have seen it easier for people who were not born here or are here illegally to get healthcare and better tax breaks. If I, a so-called American look like there is the slightest thing wrong with my taxes I will get fucked with. Sometimes I wonder why even bother doing my taxes? They take a chunk of money out of my check every two weeks, and what does it go to? I dont have children, but its like I'm punished for not having fathered umpteen children running around out there! I don't want a hand out, but I would like to think the government that runs the country that I was born and claims me would look out better for me. Its at times like this I wonder why I am here. When did the Amrican dream turn into a nightmare?

You've got a smile, to put stars to shame,
Wherever you go someone knows your name,
So easy going, like a dandelion riding a breeze,
You get what you want, without even a please,
Maybe I should call you the moment,
Pretty soon I might just call you past tense,
No I'm not a movie star, don't sing like a bird,
But I'm not going to take any less respect than deserved,
Save your batting eye lashes and grin flashes for another,
I'm not a plaything or easily fooled, you'll discover,
I'm not trying to tie you down, or make you fit me,
But I will let you know child, without duplicity,
I'm a lover, I'm a worker, nobody's fool my friend,
I'll help you and understand, but there's only so far I'll bend,
I'm a humble soul, with eyes open wide,
I love without prejudice or any pride,
But I will never ever again sell my self short to begin,
SO come on the real, show me more than some sex appeal,
If you can do that, then oh my lord I got something for you,
But if you can't handle that, then you know what to do,
I was living before I met you and so I will continue,
Whether you go or stay I'm still going to be this way.

Burning out like stars in the black ocean,
A vulnerable vessel weakened by a potion,
Older than the seeds of the evergreens,
The eternal gazer, simpatico with the moon,
Destined while encased in flesh to swoon,
To the gestures of nature, and all seen,
Laying down, experiencing the duality of it all,
The soft earthen golem returns to its thrall,
While the spark heeds its celestial call,
Trying to come to grips with the smaller whole,
But seeking to know in the grand scheme's one divine role,
Speaking to the elders who have passed the first dance,
Are they amused at the melodramatic majesty of marching ants,
Would they return to it for a spell if given a chance,
At times I revel in the excitement of the present,
But mourn that a special connection seems absent,
An existence of amusement, wonder and some discontent.

I close my eyes and feel your kisses like
moon light on my shoulders,
Your words and breath caress my neck so gently,
I can't stop licking my lips,
Our gazes cross and speech is lost,
You playfully rub your foot against my leg,
All I can do is grin,
While pushing down these feelings threatening to erupt from within,
The air it seems frozen for several heartbeats at a time,
Polarized by the churning of our molten cores,
Each seemingly waiting for a distinct signal to go ahead and explore.

Open me like the sun penetrates the night,
Fill me with light, as the dark becomes gray,
Tinglings resembling the fingertips of a new day,
Rousing the slumbering emotions within my soul,
While the world outside vies to take control,
Clouds of doubt begin to sprinkle about,
And I shy away, like a summer storm encroaching on a June day,
Can you accept me as I am,
A twice lived soul with hope inside a man,
Can you see beyond what some perceive to be a shallow pond,
And have faith to wade inside a sea of love and dreams,
Sometimes the children of mother earth & father sky have moods,
But within all seek to bloom, to love despite gloom, an be open,
I am open for you, ask me anything my answer will be true,

I had entered these two different poetry contests on the website I used to self publish my books. The first contest was an anthology of poetry the second single poem contest. Well, I didn't win the anthology, and I didn't make the top 100 of the single with the five entries I put in there.
It is some what disappointing. I will contue to write as long as I have inspiration, but it makes me wonder if maybe I wasn't meant to be a writer. I have heard some poeple say my writings or more like song lyrics, and I have thought about trying to put some of my more melodic poems to music.
I love all kinds of poems, but sometimes in the attempt to be imagery laden or metapor jammed for impact. One of my good friends who I consider a great peer and challenges em to improve said I should think about going for impact verses. When they hit me I do, but there are times I feel like just putting it out there, what I'm thinking, without trying to make a person feel like they are decyphering a puzzle. I don't want the emotion to get lost in the dressing.
In the mean time there are possibilites for some big changes for me outside of writing. I have two friends who have asked me if I want to move with them. One friend is going to North Carolia and the other to Annapolis, Maryland. I like them both, they are good people. The first friend I worry about being in a living arrangement with him because I have seen the strife that he and some of his childhood friends have had living in a house together. I understand business is business, and money should never get in the way of friendship, but it just seems to me he tries to get over a bit, is very land lord like in ways.
The other friend, well to be honest I think it would be awesome to move and live with him. My only oncern is getting a job in Annapolis, and not being as close to my mother as I would like.
When my father passed away I had a lot of guilt. We had unresolved issues, and I made it a personal vow to not neglect or abandon my mother. We have a special bond. INthe back of my mind I think as much as I worry about her she worries about me in ways. I am her "baby". So many things, us being both being left handed, me being born on her father's birthday. We just have a strong connection. BUt I feel like I'm ready, so ready to go out and do my own thing, live. I have never regretted making the decision to be so readily available and close to my mother, but right now at this point in my life I feel like there is so much I haven't seen and done. I need to be challenged, be out of my comofrt zone, which attimes hasn't been that pleasurable, but it was known and accepted just for that fact. So we shall see.....
Have a great day and I hope all of your weekends are fun and full of joy and love.
A starr reborn xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Your smile feels like the sun's kiss,
On a Sunday in July,
I see endless possibilities,
And kindness in your soft eyes,
Your soul sings to me with a beauty,
Only the divine could provide,
I never knew joy could walk among us,
I never considered happiness could be my friend,
You have helped me open my eyes and unlock my heart,
Knowing you has given me a brand new start.

Move me, like the ocean moves the sea,
Because you breathe, heaven I can perceive,
What was once a colorless world,
Has changed into a brilliant cosmos unfurled,
IN the dark my third eye sees magical sparks,
And I find myself reaching for that book on the shelf,
Reading its texts and feeling morally perplexed,
I am completely swayed by all of our shared yesterdays,
Compelled by a supernatural force to a certain course,
Toward your eyes, and those soft lips that would make me willingly comply,
To your smallest wish, even beyond when my time on this plane is finished,
I am obsessed, bleeding my intentions onto paper I've possessed,
Engraving my emotion with an energy that some would notion is a potion,
Subconsciously invoking spirits and fear it they might hear it,
And move you beyond where we are, Has at times immobilized me so far,
I lay it in the hands of destiny, to decide the place for you and me