Submerged in warmth up to my shoulders,
With heaven's frozen tears falling down,
Spirits flowing, while the celestials move,
An amazing natural display,
Watching with countless stars as the moon donned a veil,
And along arcane winds drifted alluring spells,
Souls speaking with eyes and our bodies,
Closing the distance finding a connection eternally aligned,
I had visions of the sky resting upon a Caribbean sea,
Tilted sideways, a startling but natural reality,
The guide to the sublime non other than Erzuhlie,
Consumed by a fire, tempered by the wetness of your lips,
Unleashed I returned ferociously hungry, taking sip after sip,
Reveling in the bridge we traversed, a friendly thirst,
And how through a seal I was able to burst.

Well I'm back from my jaunt into the rural areas of Maryland. Tuesday, was very relaxing. I got to see the three main attractions of the town, its two stop lights (yes the town only has two stop lights), and went to a bar.
Wednesday was definitely more exciting. The beginning of the day was pretty chill, but my friend decided to have a gathering of a few friends to drink and wach the lunar eclipse. I went through a lot of beer, and being in the hot tub seemed to intensify my drunkedness. Well, basically they were bunch of a free spirited people in the pool, and things becaame playfully suggestive. I made out with my friend's female companion ( I think I becmae straight for a bit), made out with him andanother guy there. My Gawd!! I actually got an erection kissing her, and then after kissing both these guys *I think I'm going to need some alone time after writing this blog) I was done! I had forgotten how nice my lips feel against someone elses. How incredible two tongues sliding together tenderly and lustfully feel, and just how much I love gently nibbling and sucking on someone's lips. We also made naked snow angel ( it snowed up there for a bit, and it as amazing feeling the snow drops hit your face and shoudlers while you're sitting in a hot tub ( with sexy people). I even got a complement on my lips. If it were possible I blushed bright red!
I've come back fro the trip feeling invigorated, sexy, and more confident. My friend and I discussed the goings on in the pool but did not discuss our kiss. He is very straight, but just down to earth and us kissing just seemed to be right at the momment. As funny as it sounds, and as much as I have had my attraction for him, we didn't kiss nearly as long as his female friend and I did, or the other guy who if things had been more favorable time wise, I totally had in my mind I was going to lick and devour him like the last ice cream cone of my favorite kind on a hot July August night! I think I'll be seeing him on Saturday, and if I get that vibe again who knows what might happen? Damn, am I turning into a whore??
I got some great ideas for poems, and hopefully you all will be seeing them within the next few days! Take care my friends, and I love you all.

I'm heading off for a three day mini vacation of sorts. Hanging out with a friend and going to check out his home town. Hoping to take some pics (maybe of him too), drink, sight see, do some writing, chill in the hot tub...
So I will be gone for a a bit but will have you in my thoughts. Hope all of you be will and have some naughty fun!!

Your eyes focus on my face looking for pain,
Your smile welcomes my sweat like the earth does rain,
You love the flavor of my tears,
You breathe in deeply the scent of my fears,
And you delightfully quiver,
When I'm cold, my body in shivers,
Your ears perk up for the latest news,
Hoping it contains my woes and blues,
You tried to hide your intentions at first,
Wishing me the best to my face but inside hexing me the worst,
I could be bitter, eaten alive by that cancer inside of you,
I could throw my hands up, say I'm done, my hope is through,
Yes there are a 1,001 reasons I cannot prevail,
Yes because of who I am every endeavor I could miserably fail,
Give you the energy to smugly smile amidst your set,
Forever dwell as a shadow of a life drowning in regret,
You are not my maker, you will not be my hope taker,
Your foul intentions will not be my ambition's deal breaker,
There are so many things out of my hands,
So many little things I don't completely understand,
But all I need to know is to continue to go fourth and grow,
I am thankful for those things you call little an small,
I'm going to create my own destiny, and while doing so have a ball,
Laughing and crying with my true friends,
All the negative wishes you intended for me will be your end,

Was there a consciousness in the first essense,
What catalyst sent a whole scattering far and wide,
Evolution unfolding, a spectacular celestial ride,
A sanity to the madness, in the unpredictable a gladness,
Amid an endless of ocean an ever living precious potion,
Over a period of time a blinking in love's one eye,
Over the ages calculations abound about the probability,
To decypher our mystery with varying degreees of futility,
What combination of destiny and randomness brought this destination,
Upon one third wheel planet where chaos abounds,
A cacophony of natural and artificial sounds,
Who or what deemed me to meet you one day,
What mischevious spirit knew I'd feel about you this way,
Breathe and sigh just by having you pass me by,
Come close enough to rest my lips upon your brow,
And be separated from you in agony right now,
to see you find what you think is your missing piece,
While everyday a little more of my hope is decreased,
Screaming inside I keep my feelings outwardly hushed,
Victim of a cruel cosmic crush

You raise my spirits to heavens rafters,
Just by hearing your infectious laughter,
Your electric smile makes me trouble free for a while,
Your arm around my shoulder makes me less colder,
Just your presence returns me to a purer essence,
Before some experience built up some fences,
Even when my face is shrouded in doubts cloud,
You make me grin and laugh out loud,
Just the whisper of your voice makes my eyes moist,
It is so full of tenderness and acceptance,
You teach me its okay to take a chance to even dance,
Is it any wonder just how easily I've fallen under,
Your sweet charms and spells, my heart is aswell,
WIth a canvas of emotions,set asail on life's ocean,
Just when I think I am part of the gleam in your eye,
Another moon rises into your sky,
I cannot help but cleasrly see,
She is everything I couldn't be,
How she fits a little better inside your arms,
How in your hands her face finds a perfect resting place,
And when you two kiss I try to find something amiss,
The way she tilts her head, or closes her eyes,
At times I want her to disappear, never return near,
My angel, my secret heart, wonder how I could make her depart,
But she is so beautiful & kind, no matter how hard I try to find,
Reasons you and she should not be,
My feelings for you say she deserves to be by your side today,
If impaling ones own heart with the bitter tipped knife called sacrifice,
Is the way to know you have felt something true and pure,
To be relegated to your kiss on my cheek,
To have such deep, burning, elemental emotion but to never openly speak it,
Then I've discovered what it really means to love,
Its just not what I've always dreamed of.

I can't seem to find my inspiration. I don't know if I've been in the same situation, haven't had much time to just go out and see the world, pick up vibes. I'm hoping a little three day excursion with a friend (friend who I am attracted to but know it's not in THAT way) to just get out of town for a while. Hopefully I will get to see his hometown and maybe shoot up to ocean city for the hell of it. I hope to be taking some pics (maybe of him too ) and hopefully regaining my muse.
Had an intersting conversation with some of my newer friends about relationships. IN my altered state I actually mentioned that I had been feeling a bit lonely. We got into this intense conversation about what I was looking for, and that maybe I hadn't really been looking for it. It seems like people always say that you'll find that person; the one; when you least expect, when you're not looking. The conversation kept going and apparently I am the most straight gay man ever. This was funny to me. Apparently because I like sports, would love a guy I could just hang out with and have a couple beers with, and some cuddling.
The conversation evolved into asking if I was a "giver" or "receiver". And that maybe because to them I seemed to be so every day 'regular' guy acting that maybe I wasn't giving out the right signals, etc. it's kind of cute, I really don't have a any gay friends on the "outside" world, so explaining to them that yes there are stereotypical gay guys just like there are steretypical straight euphanisms doesn't mean there is a whole group of people who are gay and have varying traits.
Maybe it comes down to me. I find myself continually attracted to guys I know or profess to be straight. I don't know if it is that maybe I am looking for what I might deep down consider to be the opposite of me, that I am subconsciously I don't find msyelf attractive and am seeking out my opposite. I don'[t think being lonely plays upon my mind most of the time, but I could see where having someone special in my life would make a difference in my outlook. I think I'm a pretty happy, chill, outgoing person. But there are those times when you're painfully aware that you are single. For the most part I am content with the friends I have, but in my mind there are also those flashes of "He's a really great guy, why can't I find someone like him to be with?" I guess I'm just thinking too much.

Okay, I went out and yes I did get drunk. Probably not the smartest thing after hearing today from the supervisor of my part time job that I am working at 7am tomorrow when I know that the schedule I gave her didn't list 7am to 12pm as my available time! Still it was a good night. I smacked some nice firm asses and gave one guy a lap dance that people said was the most sensual beautiful thing they ever saw. I feel like I am a wild spirit who is chill, thoughtful yet pasionate and spontaneous at times. I just love the idea, the feeling when people refer to me as Mike; who happens to be black, who happens to be gay. oh, and I depantsed someone who had an impressive soft uncircumsized member that I did give a triple look at! I know some will read this blog and be like "what the fuck??" and others will chuckle. Yes I have my brooding and pining days, but I'vecome to realize I am a chil fun person, I like having fun and just being in the moment. It doesn't mean I can't practice restraint blah blah blah but life's too short to not just have fun, be goofy, and laugh with people. I',m blessed to have a couple of groups of really cool friends, the only thing missing is that prson to cuddle with and lavish my romantic affections upon. Its all good, I feel good right now, and I hope I make into work tomorrow. Part of me doesn't give a fuck, I just hate the idea that I called someone at fucking 8am a week ago asking for a schedule, was told I would have it in a day and find out the day before the work scedule for this special proctoring time starts find out I work the next day at 7am.; wishing you all peace, love and harmony, and a bit of naughty fun along the way too. Chaka Khan bitches!! xox
An inebriated and smiling starr reborn aak Mike

Counting the waning rays,
As the sun totes away the day,
Gazing at the ever changing shades,
Seamlessly the moon fades into the stars parade,
I can feel the natural chill,
Against my will I swallow a bitter pill,
Embracing my self and this moment,
Pacing myself before facing the decent,
Into my wandering thoughts,
An onslaught my hopeless delusion has wrought,
I thought today was yours and mine to own,
How my smile shone until I realized we weren't alone,
The spell broken by a boisterous intrusion,
My dreams in dissolution nothing more than illusion,
All I can do is sit there,
Pretend this is fair that I don't care,
Peaceful night swallow me whole,
Console me in your opaque folds,
While I take my cue into the background,
Bound to be the one never quite found

I've got some skeletons,
I have some fears, some remembered sneers,
I have my hang ups and let downs,
I have some scars and wishes unanswered by stars,
I have some things left undone,
I have an imagination and infatuation,
I have my different smiles and frowns,
I have some imperfections and reflections,
I have some wasted time and fruitful years,
I have a love only glimpsed by a few,
I have so many things I was meant to share with you,