My back is killing me but there's lasagna in the oven and "Being Human" is on...and then I get to watch "Lost Girl." I'm wondering if I'm even going to get another chance to get on my puter this evening...my oldest's fiance broke off one of the prongs to her laptop's power cord...and she texted me to inform me she bought the sims 3 and she will be playing it tonight. Kids. Gotta love them.

Had fun last night. Danced, got a little tipsy. I've gotta stop hiding at home. I mean, it's not like people are going to show up at my door to entertain me.

Saw an ex and his girlfriend...he was the first guy I was with after my long bout of abstinence. She used to be a friend. It's okay even though it hurt when I found out. (Finding out was how I figured out I didn't even like him as a person.) Ran into someone I (very briefly) dated about a year ago. Never had sex with him, and not curious to try him out at all.

Tomorrow's going to be busy. Taking my youngest to the library and used bookstore at some point in the afternoon. And I'm making lasagna. Was going to do that today, but I kinda forgot about it and I still have to pick a few things up for it. I know this week is going to seem exceptionally long, since I'm not likely to have much privacy, if any. Or alone time. I'll probably have to go hiking or something, just to be by myself. (Sitting in the living room alone when everyone else is in bed doesn't really qualify as alone time.) I'm probably going to be extremely frustrated by the time the next Monday comes around.

I love Jarod Leto...


One of my favorite Garbage songs.

Thinking about going out but I had one drink and I'm a bit-maybe more than a bit-buzzed...and it wasn't even much of a drink. I suppose, if I really wanted to, I could just go downtown here. There's no way I'd run into that crazy girl. And one of my ex lovers bartends, so I know I'd be safe there. Although that is a long fricken walk to my house.

I don't think I'm going to tell men I'm bi anymore. Not initially. Not even if they ask any kind of questions pertaining to that. Because then the majority of them assume a 3-some is on the table. And it isn't. It would take an extraordinary amount of trust and desire for me to want that or be willing to do that. And no, I don't have "friends" like that, either. Yes, I may be willing (with the right man) to try kinky things-even wanting to-but I don't fuck my friends. I'm very jealous and possessive when it comes to men. I don't like sharing. And if they really think about it, how would they feel about me being the third, and them not involved?

My oldest is hilarious. Talking about going out. And of course, she's not super thrilled to be seen out with her mother. Tells me to wear jeans. I told her, no, I'm going out naked. (She'd probably have a heart attack if she knew I went out once in a negligee and my purple furry coat with nothing underneath but my stockings. Cause secretly, I'm a freak when it comes to sex.)

Heard that at the grocer's...


My best (British-I had two best girl friends -and no, not THAT kind of girlfriend!) in Korea was a huge Smashing Pumpkins fan. Hearing them always reminds me of her.

I so want one of these!

Steven Tyler is so damn sexy...


Again, he is so damn sexy!

I've always wanted to have sex in an elevator...and in a dressing room...and a bar bathroom...and a few other semi-public places...

I love the message in this song. I think we all, at some time or other, worry too much about what others think of us. The only person's opinion of us that matters, though, is the one we carry of ourselves. Everyone makes mistakes, it's how we learn. So please, treat your self with love and compassion.

I'm trying to make the most of this week, seeing as how next week is spring break here and I know my youngest is going to drive me crazier than I already am. My oldest and her fiance are out of town...she went to take part of her boards for her cosmetology license but they'll be back tomorrow.

So I cleaned some. Got a little writing in, even. Nothing new, and probably something I'm never going to share with anyone. Ever. It was something I'd been writing for someone that's no longer part of my life...but I still want to finish it. And even though I write more poetry than anything else, I just wasn't in a poetry-writing kind of mood.



A sketch I did earlier in charcoal and chalk. I love working with both. They're messy and I like that kind of messy. Just like I love digging in the dirt, be it my garden-or someone else's garden-or at the beach.

I realized I've only had sex once in the last seven months. No biggie. I went over 5 years without sex, had a weekend fling, and then another 5 years before I had sex again. So I know it's not going to kill me. (I just don't want to go another 5 years without it.)

Probably going to make lasagna this week...regular and florentine. One of these days-probably later than sooner-I'm going to make pasta from scratch. I've always wanted to try and there's nothing like fresh spinach fettuccine with alfredo sauce...making my mouth water...I sure do love to eat.