Viewing Member - beachdreamz

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OK so lately I have been called adorable -like all the time. From my friends, guys I have met, my boss, strangers. LOL so just for the record what does it mean (and not looking for a dictionary explaination).

Hehe I am not complaing -just curious

So we had it out last night...actually it wasn't a big fight but I got my point across and he explained his side. I hate fighting with people. I lived in a house where my parents fought all the time, then moved in with roommates who did the same thing, then ended up with a boyfriend and thats the route we started to take too. No thank you!

As well I still didn't get a dress. This is frustrating. I am thinking soon I am going to take notes from the Emporors New Clothes and go naked. Hehe I want lots of pics taken and I guess thats one way to achieve that!

Grrrrrrrrrrr

Well I am off for the day to go find a dress for the wedding. Jeepers this is taking forever
But when I got up this morning and logged into another site I saw something posted by a friend of mine who basically is thinking of ending his life. I care for this person very much and we have got to know each other fairly well. I don't know if I am more angry that he won't talk to me or if I am upset that he will really do something dangerous. I guess its a combination of both.
My mother once decided she was going to try and commit suicide. I don't know if she actually tried or not as some family came and got her but I was the one who found the note about a year later, at Christmas time no less. I don't know what it is but people who threaten it have no sympathy from me. I am more the one who will stand there, in anger and tell them to do it. I do know its a call for help which I am more than willing to stay by their side until the rough time is over. But taking your life? I've been to hell and back at times in my life and I am still here. I am so mad/hurt/scared right now that if he was here with me I would kick his ass (although he is 6'4" so I will need to kick high!)

Did I ever tell you all how much I enjoy your company? I simply love reading blogs. Its like getting a naughty peek into someones diary for one. Two it really lets you get to see the real person and three they make me LMAO!!! OMG some of your blogs kill me! I think we need a "best of" blog section or a blog of the week...Wait I take that back. I like blogs because they are real and interesting. But I sure kick myself in the ass when I can't get on NN to read my favorites. I wish I could go on NN at work just to read blogs. Keep up the good work everyone

I'e heard it before and I guess maybe its finally sunk it. People feed off the vibe you put out (lol and not that kinda vibe ya pervs).

Yes I do come down hard on myself and I need a good kick in the ass for it, mainly because if I was so unhappy with myself I should have done something about it. I was feeling great but I fell off the diet wagon and was scared I had undone all the damage I did...but nope. Only put back on 2 pounds.

I know looks are not the only part of a person - honestly I do. And to be honest when looking for a guy, the boy next door look turns me on faster than a pretty boy anyday.

Anywho....today I missed my bus and had to walk a bit to work. Well one guy who was doing some construction was checking me out and well subtle he wasn't. LOL he was young and cute and I smiled and walked by and he almost ran into the platforming (is that what its called??). Then like 5 minutes later I was passing a bus stop, minidng my own business listening to my MP3 player and a guy stepped out of the bus shelter to stop me and tell me I looked awesome - no idea who he was but I was like THANKS...and continued on my way.

Where the hell is this all coming from?? Ok so I finally admit I am not a dog but I sure am hell am not some super model (which is fine with me) Then on here I got a few awesome messages. I've dated more guys since coming to Toronto than I have in my entire life...I am thinking maybe I am finally coming to terms with who I am and its attracting people. I must say I like it

Wow my ears are still ringing!

One of my best buds won tickets to a concert last night and took yours truly as his guest. What a freaking show. It was awesome (haha all the drinks certainly helped too!!)Tomorrow night its a get together to play my new Guitar Hero game - ALL 80's songs!!! Fucking sweet.

and!!

THE SIMPSONS MOVIE comes out!! OMG I have loved that show forever and if I could I would kick Marges skinny ass and take Homer as my man. I am sooooo excited. I kind of wished the movie was a bit more adult but at least this way I guess everyone who enjoys the show gets to watch it.

Going to be another great weekend...I can feel it and well, the Magic 8 Ball told me it would be, and lately it's always been right

Ever feel like you are living in someone elses life or like you are not inside yourself? Sorry I don't know how else to describe it. I've been saying lately how happy I am and for the most part its true. However this weekend something happened and some negative things have surfaced. I am going to try and not let this bring me down because damn it I've waited a long time to be happy and I don't want to lose it. My friends truly are my bandaids and they will get me through this. I think a long phone call home to my grandmother is needed to. She doesn't let me bullshit and she tells it like it is. I CAN'T wait to see her in 2 months and 5 days

WTF People??

Today blew my mind. I was on the subway on the way home and I was in the first car which I am not normally am. I see a lady with a child standing at the front and I assume the kid is loving the view being at the front. So I am minding my own business and suddenly the lady comes by where I am sitting and hits the emergency alarm. So I immediatly unplug my MP3 player and start looking around for an emergency. The conductor comes out and he, the lady and another lady start arguing. From what I can gather the first lady told the other lady(who was black) to move because she had a child and wanted to sit there (the kid is like 5 or 6). Well lady #2 must have said no and the woman threw a fit. I am not 100% it had to do with her being black but I am pretty sure. So lady #1 had the nerve to stop the whole fucking train to throw a fit and demand this lady let her sit there..keeping in mind there was empty seats everywhere. It blew my mind. Nice lesson to teach a child.

Then as I get off the subway and start to head up the stairs another lady knocked into me. I didn't make a big deal because I was messing with my MP3 and maybe was in the way..anyways all of a sudden her and another lady start KICKING!! each other. Like WTF kids in elementary school act better than these people

/me shaking my head and sad to be a white woman today. Congrats to the men who act properly

YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

I did it, I did it, I did it!!

I booked my plane ticket to Calgary today!!! This will be my first time on a plane so please bare with me. LOL I can just imagine what the poor guy at flight center thought of all the retarded questions I was asking him lol

/me walks away singing I'm a big kid now

Did I tell you all how much I love my life lately??

Everything is just going so well *knock on wood* I am now making more money at work, meeting a freaking ton of new people, seeing so many new places and in general enjoying my life to the fullest. This move is something I should have done so long ago.

Twice this week I broke down in happy tears. My bro called me and had seen some pics I had posted on facebook and he couldnt believe it was me and told me I looked "damn good" (sounds creepy coming from my bro but trust me it was innocent lol)I also got a similar email from someone else and she said the same thing and couldnt believe how beautiful I looked, and to enjoy my life because the best was yet to come for me - and I believe it. I feel fantastic, I look good and my life is just one big adventure lately and I can't wait for the next day to start (well I could wait a few hours so I could get some more sleep)