I saw in a comic from the newspaper today where someone had invented pumpkin spice flavored bacon.

What will be ruined next?

Hmmm...

I have the most viewed and least viewed Blog.

Both at 14,132.

Does that mean I'm best and worst at the same time?

?

I am 71 years old.

I am mostly bald.

Today on FB I saw an ad for a toupee company.

The toupee was probably the ugliest rug I've ever seen.

Curiosity got the better of me,

so I went to their site to see what that monstrosity cost.

$269.00!

No thank you.

I'm happier bald than looking like a freak.

~

I've decided to switch my morning coffee routine to drinking tea.

I've always loved the taste of coffee.

I acquired the taste for it as a boy.

My parents would always have coffee after dinner.

They hardly ever finished their second cup and I would carry their cups to the kitchen sink for them,

where I would sneak a sip or two.

In high school, as I used to joke, I lived on coffee and cigarettes,

saving my lunch money to buy booze for the weekend.

At age 19 I developed a problem with caffeine -

it gave me terrible heartburn.

So I switched to De-caf. I missed the taste.

It's been a part of my morning routine for years.

Two cups while I read the daily newspaper.

But times change and I must change with them.

I stopped home delivery of the newspaper because the cost was too high.

I can read the same paper online for a third of what it was costing me.

So, since I can't hold the paper in my hands any more,

I decided to cut the rest of that routine by switching to tea.

Somehow, drinking tea while reading my paper online seems more dignified.

Just one more way I am rolling with the changes.

~

Someone posted some pictures of my old high school on FB the other day.

The school I attended was open for 58 years and then was replaced.

It is common practice in my hometown to refer to the older school as such.

The newer school has now been in existence for 50 years.

I wonder when the new school will no longer be called the new school...

perhaps on the day it is replaced?

Then graduates can say they either attended the old, old school or the old school or the new school.

I am thankful that there's no one alive who went to the high school that was around before I spent my days at the old school.

Could you imagine, if the current school were replaced to have to explain you graduated from the

old, old, old school?

~

The Sky, by John Wayne (1971 as told on Rowan & Martin's Laugh In):

The sky is blue,

the grass is green.

Get off your butts

and join the marines.

~

If I had a dollar for every time I saw a posting for a lost dog on FB I could take us all out to dinner.

In my day, dogs weren't allowed in the house.

The few exceptions were people who had small dogs and that's a good thing,

because all of the bigger dogs would probably have eaten them.

Dogs were pets.

You played with your dog.

You took your dog with you when you rode your bike around the neighborhood.

They didn't need a leash because we trained them as pups.

We didn't give them a treat for doing a trick. Food was too scarce for that.

Just saying the word NO was enough to stop your dog from whatever he was getting into.

Again, because we trained them.

We didn't treat them like family or pamper them.

They were pets.

I can see why so many dogs get lost.

If people let them stay in the house all the time,

lying on the sofa and getting treats for doing a simple trick,

then if I got out of the house I'd be lost too.

Wait- was I talking about dogs or children?

~

The lemon must be the favorite citrus fruit of many,

because I see an overwhelming amount of people walking around with a look on their face attuned to those who have just bitten into one.

~

It has taken me 71 years, but I have achieved what I've always wanted:

A peaceful, content life.

~

Know what's better than roses on your piano?

Tulips on your organ.