I've come to the conclusion that my property is the exact center of the fallen leaf universe. This being flatlands...the wind has free reign to do whatever it chooses to do. Lately, that entails blowing every stray leaf withing a mile radius onto my grounds.

They swirl, float, roll, tumble and dance on the gusts until they stop at the great leaf graveyard I call home. Look East, West, North and South...no leaves. Look down, a 6 inch carpet of gold and orange..sheesh.

It's neverending...or at least it seems that way. Rake now and wait a few minutes and you'll never even know it had been cleared. Ignore it and you'll kill every blade of grass. I'm starting to think that Mother Nature is trying to tell me something..lmao. Payback for being pissed off at her earlier this fall.

So many things to be working on right now. Thanksgiving and Christmas coming up. Winterizing the house is still going on. Sealing windows...a necessary pain in the butt in this 110yo house. The stove installer told me he loved it because it had character. He's right..it's a character, alright. Fickle, demanding and comforting all at one time..lol.

Yvonne has been making the most amazing gift baskets for the holidays. She can be so creative...one of the many reasons I love her so. They are filled with the coolest things...Black cats for her sister(a strange and twisted Christmas tradition), Baking goods, wine and cool little kitchen utensils. I look at them an realize that I'd be so happy to recieve one of them myself so I'm sure where they're going, they will be loved. She just got done making this cool blanket for my grandson. The two panels are knotted along the sides to make tassels and it turned out even better than when she described it. I love her creativity.

We're making an attempt this winter to live without natural gas. It's ridiculously expensive now and we replaced the water heater with an electric one. New stove, as well. Love the ceramic top and huge oven. It was time for that anyway. The gas stove we had was nothing but a pain in the butt. When we bought it, we marveled at the electric igniters for the burners and the sealed top. The oven igniter constantly went on the fritz, the top ones are spotty and the wells for the burner liners are sealed, yes, but allow stuff to seep between the burner and the top of the stove, making a mess. Good riddance. Even bought a fireplace unit. It's a full wooden mantle and sides with an electric blower insert. It's amazing how they can make the fire seem so real. At night, it's very pretty watching the flames jump and dance.

Well, rambling on, aren't I. I'll stop now before I need to borrow more bandwidth..lmao.

Peace and love....stay warm!

I'm afraid I must report that I am still here. Learning to deal with the little hiccup in my life and hiding indoors during leaf burning season..sheesh.

Sorry to have taken so long letting you know that, so you can take off the black and celebrate my return without a stitch on....like good pervy girls and boys.

Peace and Love....I'll be around more often now...so, you are warned..lmao.

Hi peeps, Got to come home from the hospital today. The breathing is a little better but it's still tight. It appears this is something I'm going to have to learn to live with.

I've been diagnosed with C.O.P.D. aka chronic obstructive pulmanory disease. Basically, I'm unable to expel the really bad things as quickly as I should and now I'm paying the consequences. Learn new ways to breath, live, all kinds of good things. Life's path has a few cracks in the sidewalk...who woulda figured!

Thanks for the kind words and the smarkass comments....both do equally well to raise my spirits. I'm probably not going to be very active on here till I'm a little better but I'll stop in just to keep you pervs in line...or in a line...hmmm, perhaps a perv chorus line....wait...must stay calm...lmao

You know I love you all and so, A Hug, big ole Bear Hug for you all.....Peace and Love....

Well, it's true..I am alive but fighting a damned lung infection again. Damn, I wish I could stay away from these. When I'm feeling better, I'll take the time to give you a real....seemingly real?, blog and let peek into the swirling confusion that is my life.

Peace and Love.......

I may owe some people an apology. It appears my grasp of the English language is not up to snuff. I have excelled at learning both Spanish and French from my home study courses titled "Conversational Spanish and Conversational French" respectively. At least I thought they said "Conversational"!

It appears that the good deal I recieved on my purchase of each of these courses was just that...a good deal, too good to be believed..sigh.

Conversational French and Spanish is actually "Confrontational French and Spanish"

The author "Hugh Dumass" is actually the pen name of a guy named Bob from New Jersey.

And, most dissapointing of all, my French and Spanish penpals have gotten restraining orders from the postal office.

So, if you chose to use any of the previously written blogs advice, please do so with extreme caution and stand far enough away that a well aimed slap will go wide and give you enough time to make for the front door.

Dear me...what have I done? I've turned you people into rude Americans.....oh wait. We already were considered that..damn.

So, Peace and Love and Caution...I'm full of crap...lmao

Another of the romantic languages and one of my favorites is "Spanish". Perhaps I will, in keeping with the previous blog, practice some of my more useful phrases. Not to worry, though. I'm even better at Spanish than I am at French.

When comparing opposite sex friends, please be sure to use the complimentary: "comere cualquier cosa menos caracoles" meaning of course, "She has a nice personality"

When your partner presents you with a homemade bowl of split pea soup, quickly reply while looking meaningfully into the bowl: "has vomitado" which, is an amazingly simple and charming compliment...sure to please them.

If things become more intimate during the evening, they can be cooled considerably if you say, in a gentlemanly way: "separa las piernas" meaning, "I will respect you in the morning". Because, of course...we always want to be young gentlemen and ladies...don't we?

Lastly, suppose you are confronted by a loved one and asked if you are unhappy and are looking for someone else, reassure them by simply saying: "estoy pensando". Saying this in a hesitant manner only emphasizes your dedication to them all the more.

Well, Good luck, amigo y amigas....

Peace and Love and la pimienta me hace estornudar

It's so important to have at least one secondary language. You never know when it will come in handy. Unfortunately, if you don't use it often..you lose it. Therefore, thought I'd try a couple out here just to refresh my memory:

When meeting someone's mother, say: "tu as un beau cul" which I believe means, "lovely to meet you".

When going to confession, always finish with: "qu est ce qui te donne du plaisir" which means, "I am at peace now..hopefully".

When ordering chicken in a cafe, If you prefer white meat/breasts..always order: "le mamelon"

When chatting with small children, always say: "tu vas te faire tabasser" this a very old and funny saying they love to hear, easpecially if you're standing over them clenching your fists...

The standard greeting for a young, attractive woman you meet in the bar is a pat on the rear followed by: "je tiens juste a etre aimable" which means "Just removing the lint from your skirt"...you will be very much appreciated for this.

Finally, when talking about a mutual friend, always refer to him or her as: "quelqu'un de bizarre" which is the universal phrase for "super person"

I hope this gave you some insights, I know I feel better about my language skill already.

Peace and Love....and "j ai mal au coeur" (enjoy life)

Oranges, Reds, Cool Gusty, Rainy Glum...
Fall has fallen cause summer's done!

It's magic time....wooooooohoooooo!

Man o man..I love this time of the year. It's wet and dark outside, the air crisp and sharp, the earthy smell of sodden ground and leaves....ah, heaven indeed.

Ok...that's it..lmao.

I am thrilled that my pervette left me a blog comment...I love that, actually...makes me all warm and tingly.

Peace and Love......

A response to my last blog got me thinking.....just how normal is my life? I mean, compared to others, am I the guy people keep an eye on, roll those same eyes when mentioned, tap their heads and hum the Three Stooges theme?

Boy, I hope so...lol.

When pollsters interview for their polls...they chose smaller, indicitive groups of people that hopefully reflect the majority of the population. I wouldn't know where to find my own pollster so I think a fair solution to determining whether I'm looney might be an inventory of my rolling toolbox at work. Why my toolbox? Well, work is the most restricting environment in my day, so if odd items appear there...it's a strong indicator that my outside life is way weirder..lmao. Let's start.

First off, my box was originally orange but I painted it black and then created paintings on each of the sides. I think that qualifies as a little unique. The paintings continue to the shop towel holder sitting atop the box, much to my boss's chagrine and consternation.

Drawer 1: Hmmm, nothing too strange here...pens, markers, post-its, scissors, stapler, a hole punch...aha..what's this. Cigarette lighters in the shape of a hammer, an axe, fire extinguisher, pig, pistol, fishing lure..odd indeed. Wait, what's this...a lighter that looks like a busty bikini model's torso..naughty, naughty. Not too bad yet. What the hell? Why would anyone have a mini yoyo and a harmonica in his tool box..sheesh.

Drawer 2: Allen wrenches, honing stones, cutters and shim stock. Perfectly normal other that the fact that shim stock sheets have christmas ornament shapes cut out of them. Purely coincidental, I'm sure. Onward.

Drawer 3: Now we're talking. TOOLS! Wrenches, pliers, vicegrips, screwdrivers, etc....and epoxy. That may explain the figurine of a man made out of spare machine parts..sheesh. And I thought we had finally found the one normal drawer in the cabinet.

Drawer 4: Um, maybe we should just close this one back up for fear of incriminating myself. What, you're curious? Fine, it's on your shoulders. It's just a bunch of papers, 3 or 4 digital micrometers and calipers..gauges. Can I stop now...no..damn. Alright...there's a set of what looks like big drum sticks with the balls on the end and a Viking horn.....grumble..yes, a viking hat too. OMG...Is that a red, rubber clown nose? Damn..Doug isn't right!

Can we stop now?

Drawer 5: Aha, all paperwork...we're cool here! Wonder what's under all these papers? Shit, you didn't see that. An 8X10 of Captain America and underneath him, a office guy with his head up his ass. Unbelievable..let's get this over with. Just 2 more to go.

Drawer 6: It's just hammers....wait..not just....they seem to have names. The little dead-blow hammer is called "All decisions final", the heavy steel sledge is called "War Hammer", the huge dead-blow hammer is named Thor...omg...back to the whole viking thing, i guess. Then there's different brass hammers that say "1 micron adjustment", "10 micron adjustment" and "holy shit, that moved it". Somebody want to tell me why there's a hand puppet made out of a filter sock in here...Security!

Drawer 7: The biggest and last drawer. Do we even have to look. It's pretty obvious that this guy has thumped his head one too many times....but, what the hell. Some magazines...motorcycle and newsweeks..not too bad. 20' of air hose, a coffee cup, caution tape, masking tape, duct tape, wait a minute....caution tape....that's messed up. Oh, here's a plate and some plastic utensils including a "spork"...that's funny name, spork. Someone should write a poem about it...ah, that'll never happen..sigh. Oh, great..just when I though we were done...who the hell would make a spaceman costume out of aluminum foil and a white coverall. I've seen enough...I can make my decision at this time.....

Oh yeah, he's certifiable, should not be left in the same room with Jehovah's Witnesses and Crayons and never, never allowed to plan his own vacation let alone take a bath without a life vest.

How sad..sigh

Peace and Love and Lunacy for you all....They're coming to take me away, today...they're coming to take me away...weeeeeeee!

I suppose there's not much to blog about today...got an important document printed and now I can take care of business..
The day started out cool and still. The three ponds on the outskirts of my hometown were unblemished by the wind today. That's a rarity on these flat, windy plains. The last, and largest pond had a lone duck floating placidly in the exact center. I'm wondering if that duck felt like the last of its kind, all alone in the middle of all that mirrored blue?

The best and kindest way to describe work these days is "repetitive". Mind-numbing as it is, they pay me to show up, so I continue to go every night. Someday, I would love to be back on a regular daytime shift but for now, my seniority date doesn't cut the mustard. Oct. 25th will be 12 years there. Only 18 more to go..lol..sob!

Since this has been a rambling kinda thing.....I'll just have to cut it short and ramble off before you lose interest.

Peace and Love.......maybe some excitement would be nice....ciao