been around here much thanks to facebook lol...anyways, I'm still around just not as much time on the computer as has been in the past.

I'm getting married in 2 weeks!! Excited and nervous all at the same time but it will be good =)

While part of it may bother me to an extent I know it's natural and we met on here of all places, so looking at porn doesn't bother me all that much. I most likely just read too much into because he said he loves me when I asked him about it tonight. Thanks for the opinions. xxx

But there is something bothering me and I'm not sure how to think/feel about it. So every morning my fiance gets up before me and gets on the computer, I can pretty much guess that he looks at different porn sites every morning. This morning in particular he spent 30 minutes playing 2 games on facebook and looking at these sites. I layed in bed and watched him, he thinks I'm still asleep as far as I know. And he almost always deletes the browser history. So I have a couple questions for anyone/everyone.

To the gfs/fiancees/wives:
How do you feel/think about it when your guy is looking at porn all the time and trying to hide it from you?

To the bfs/fiances/husbands:
Do you view looking at porn and hiding it from your partner as an ok thing or is it just male nature?

I'm sure I'm reading too much into it, but at the same time, why hide it from me?

I guess I'm just looking for...I don't even know what.

I was waiting another week to see if I'd get my friendly visitor (ladies and some guys know her lol) well, sad to say, she has shown her ugly self and there is no baby in the works this time. Hopefully by this summer maybe we'll be expecting *crosses her fingers*. So that's that for right now, more later sometime.

So for the first time ever, my bf came in me without any protection or the pull out method we've been doing. Also my monthly friend is late so I was waiting to see if I got it or not, I hadn't by last Thursday night so I took a pregnancy test, watched the lines but it was negative, kind of bummed me out. While I am somewhat glad I am not pregnant at this time, I'm kinda sad (I cried after I told my bf I was kinda bummed it said negative and him telling me he was kinda bummed also =*(....) So maybe in a couple months we won't try to be so protected.

And on another topic...I found out that a [now] former member is no longer with us. I know what happened, not in great detail, but I do have my thoughts on why things went the way they did and who I think was mostly at fault, I will keep that to myself but I do blame her.

So anyways, we're good here, just tired.

is feeling much better now, he has one more pill from the z-pack and has his cough syrup yet. His fever has gone away (was gone Saturday) and he sounds better. So I'm glad that we didn't wait to go to the Doctor. 2 days missed work is enough. So that's the update, don't know that I feel like writing about anything else at the moment.

Well it actually started on Monday (I think), we had to go outside and help chop up some snow so my dad could clear it with the snow blower, so we spent about an hour out doing that. Tuesday he went to work and was ok but my mom could hear the hoarseness starting in his voice. By Wednesday, he was really scratchy and congested and Thursday was the same, he didn't go to work b/c he wasn't able to. So I decided last night after touching his forehead to take his temperature, it was 101.6 degrees (Fahrenheit) and we got up about 7:30 and checked it again, it was still high at 101.4 degrees. So we got ready and headed into urgent care where we spent almost an hour between urgent care, lab and x-ray. With that the Doctor said he's got the start of walking pneumonia and prescribed him meds and cough syrup. I'm so glad I didn't wait any longer to get him checked out. So we spent the rest of the morning running errands and then got lunch and came home and took a nap. He said he's starting to feel a tiny bit better, I just hope he does feel better soon. So I guess that's pretty much my day, been kinda crazy.

I just read SS's blog about her grandpa passing away. It made me cry and if you read my comment you'll know why. But in case you don't, I lost 2 of my grandparents within 4 months of each other when I was 4 years old, I wish that I had had more time with them but god had it in his plans for them. I miss them very much. I've lost both of my maternal great grandparents within the last 15 years and it was tough then too, I miss them too but I had a little more time to spend with them (at least when they came to visit). I'm thankful for the time I've had with them and I'm thankful for who I have in my life now, and I can't bear to think of the day when I have to say goodbye to any of them =(.

To my friends here, I'm thankful for knowing you, if I didn't know you I wouldn't have stayed on this site as long as I have.

/me is now trying to get on a happier note...

Have a Good Day and Happy 2009!!!

*Twas the month before Christmas*
*When all through our land,*
*Not a Christian was praying*
*Nor taking a stand.*
*See the PC Police had taken away,*
*The reason for Christmas - no one could say.*
*The children were told by their schools not to sing,*
*About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.*
*It might hurt people's feelings, the teachers would say*
*December 25th is just a ' Holiday'.*
*Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit*
*Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!*
*CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod*
*Something was changing, something quite odd! *
*Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa*
*In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda.*
*As Targets were hanging their trees upside down*
*At Lowe's the word Christmas - was no where to be found.*
*At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and Sears*
*You won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears.*
*Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty*
*Are words that were used to intimidate me.*
*Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen*
*On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, onClinton !*
*At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter*
*To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter.*
*And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith*
*Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace*
*The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded*
*The reason for the season, stopped before it started.*
*So as you celebrate 'Winter Break' under your 'Dream Tree'*
*Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.*
*Choose your words carefully, choose what you say*
*Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS ,
not Happy Holiday !*

after looking over the comments on my pics, that Benjie is no longer on here???? What happened? When did she delete? WHY??? I knew I missed her just have been kinda busy and forgot about a cpl ppl momentarily.