1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?

2) Which country makes Panama hats?

3) From which animal do we get catgut?

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?

7) What was King George VI's first name?

What colour is a purple finch?

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?

10) What is the colour of the black box in a commercial airplane?


All done? Check your answers below! Scroll Down







ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ



1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
116 years

2) Which country makes Panama hats?
Ecuador

3) From which animal do we get catgut?
Sheep and Horses

4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
November

5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
Squirrel fur

6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
Dogs

7) What was King George VI's first name?
Albert

What colour is a purple finch?
Crimson

9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
New Zealand

10) What is the colour of the black box in a commercial airplane?
Orange, of course.

Story from a Kansas State Highway Patrol officer :

I made a traffic stop on an elderly lady the other day for speeding on U.S. 166 Eastbound at Mile Marker 73 just East of Sedan, KS.
I asked for her driver's license, registration, and proof of insurance.
The lady took out the required information and handed it to me.
In with the cards I was somewhat surprised (due to her advanced age)to see she had a concealed weapon carry permit.
I looked at her and ask if she had a weapon in her possession at this time.
She responded that she indeed had a .45 automatic in her glove box.
Something---body language, or the way she said it---made me want to ask if she had any other firearms.
She did admit to also having a 9mm Glock in her centre console. Now I had to ask one more time if that was all.
She responded once again that she did have just one more, a .38 special in her purse.
I then asked her what was she so afraid of.
She looked me right in the eye and said, "Not a f*** thing!"

I used to drink with a chap called Mick that had two arseholes.
I knew he had two arseholes
'cos when my brother and me used to go into the pub with Mick, Johnny the barman would boom out;


"Here comes Mick with the two arseholes!"

A rabbit one day managed to break free from a laboratory where he had been born and brought up. As he scurried away from the fencing of the compound, he felt grass under his little feet and saw the dawn breaking for the first time in his life.

"WOW! This is great," he thought. It wasn’t long before he came to a hedge and, after squeezing under it he saw a wonderful sight: lots if other bunny rabbits - all free and nibbling at the lush green grass. "Hey," he called out. "I’m a rabbit from the laboratory over there and I’ve just escaped. Are you wild rabbits?"

"Yes. Come and join us, " they all cried out.

Our friend hopped over to them and started eating the grass.

It tasted so good.

"What else do you do wild rabbits do?" he asked.

"Well," one of them said, "you see that field over there? Its got carrots growing in it. We dig them up and eat them."

This he couldn’t resist and he spent the next hour gorging on the most succulent carrots he had ever tasted. "They are wonderful" he told his new friends.

Much later, he asked them again: "What else do you do?" "You see that field there in the distance? Its got lettuce growing in it. We eat them as well".

The lettuce tasted just as good and he returned some hours later, completely full of lettuce.

"Is there anything else you guys do?" he asked.

One of the other rabbits came close to him and spoke softly:

"There is one other thing you must try." Pointing to a bunch of rabbits in the far corner of the field, he said "They’re girl rabbits. We shag them. Go and try it."

Well, our friend spent the rest of the afternoon screwing his little heart out until, completely knackered, he staggered back to his male friends. "That was fantastic," he panted.

"So are you going to live with us then?" one of the asked.

"I’m sorry. I had a great time. Believe me, but I can’t".

The wild rabbits all stared at him in amazement. "Why? We thought you liked it here."

"I do," our friend replied. "But I must get back to the laboratory.... I’m dying for a smoke!"

Things you don't what to hear on a Railway Station.

1. This is an announcement for passengers who are waiting on platform 1 for the 12:15 to London your train is now comming into platform 26 and your train is due in 2 minutes Thank You.

2. Passengers who are waiting for the 17:25 Londons Kings Cross your train has been cancelled and is been replaced by a 25 seater Minibus.

Last night while she slept i swapped her tampax for a party popper...........she's got no sense of humour !!

Flight to Control Tower

Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"
Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"

=========================


Tower: "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees."
TWA 2341: "Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?"
Tower: "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?"

=========================


From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very Long takeoff queue: "I ' m f...ing bored!"
Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!"
Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"

=========================


O'Hare Approach Control to a 747: "United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o'clock, three miles, Eastbound."
United 329: "Approach, I've always wanted to say this..... I've got the little Fokker in sight."

=========================


A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, air traffic control asked, "What was your last known position?"
Student: "When I was number one for takeoff!"

=========================


A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll-out after touching down.
San Jose Tower noted: American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadeloupe Exit off Highway 101; make a right at the lights; and return to the airport."

=========================


A Pan Am 727 flight, waiting for start clearance in Munich, overheard the following: Lufthansa (in German): "Ground, what is our start clearance time?"
Ground (in English): "If you want an answer, you must speak in English."
Lufthansa (in English): "I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany.... Why must I speak English?"
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): "Because you lost the bloody war!"

=========================


Tower: "Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7"
Eastern 702: "Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way, after we lifted off, we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway."
Tower: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact Departure on frequency.....
Continental 635: "Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern..... we've already notified our caterers."

=========================


One day, the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed; rolled out; turned around; and taxied back past the Cherokee. Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?"
The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger: "I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I ' ll have enough parts for another one."

=========================


The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.
Speedbird 206: " Frankfurt , Speedbird 206! clear of active runway."
Ground: "Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven." The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"
Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground..... I'm looking up our gate location now."
Ground: (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"
Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, -- And I didn't land."

=========================


While taxiing at London's Gatwick Airport , the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose-to-nose with a United 727.
An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming: "US Air 2771, where the hell are you going? I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Delta! Stop right there. I know it's difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!"

Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: "God! Now you've screwed everything up! It'll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don't move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour, and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?"

"Yes, ma'am," the humbled crew responded.

Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high.
Just then, an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking: "Wasn ' t I married to you once?"

How the internet started...

In ancient Israel , it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.




And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"






And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"


And Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. And the sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."




Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums. And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent. To prevent neighbouring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures - Hebrew To The People (HTTP).


And the young men did take to Dot Com's trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.




And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. And indeed did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates' drumheads and drumsticks.




And Dot did say, "Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others." And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel , or eBay as it came to be known. He said, "We need a name that reflects what we are."




And Dot replied, "Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators." "YAHOO," said Abraham. And because it was Dot's idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.




Abraham's cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot's drums to locate things around the countryside. It soon became known as God's Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).


That is how it all began. And that's the truth.

Paddy had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition.

It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday.
On that special day , they'd each walked across the lake to the pub on the far side for their first legal drink.

So when Paddy's 18th birthday came 'round , he and his pal Mick, took a boat out to the middle of the lake.
Paddy stepped out of the boat ....and nearly drowned!
Mick just barely managed to pull him to safety.

Furious and confused, Paddy went to see his grandmother.

"Grandma'' he asked, "It's my 18th birthday, so why can't I walk 'cross the lake like my father, his father, and his father before him?"

Granny looked deeply into Paddy's troubled brown eyes and said ,
"Because your father, your grandfather and your great grandfather were all born in December, when the lake is frozen, and you were born in August, ya dip shit."