I haven't written fanfiction in forever. I feel like such a nerd, but it's a good nerd. I forgot I had fans xD

it goes 'grabbifribblerabblerabble.'

*sighs and pokes it*

Why can't we be friends again, tummy?

Things are okay on my end, I'm just waiting impatiently to go back to school, and to go to disney world before that. I like disney world, it's been quite a while since I last got to go there (senior trip actually, now that I think about it).

dad's been reading my novel for me and so far he seems to really be enjoying it and that makes me so very happy. It's fun listening to what he thinks of the characters and getting advice from him on what to and to not do and what I need to fix and what's good in his opinion. I'm really glad for the help and it's making me feel very confident that a big fantasy buff like him is liking it so much.

Outside that, very little happening. I might've found a store (did I mention that earlier? I cant remember). The boss at the new one knows my current boss, and my manager says that he's trying to put me in as a decorator or baker, because it'll be easier to get my foot in the door that way, rather than as a front area person, which is fine. I don't mind closing the bakery, since all you do is scan stuff, help customers, clean and maybe do a few set ups. Easy enough once someone runs me through it =3

I'm just eager for school though. I miss it, oodles. And I miss Ash and my two suitemates and I miss being able to nap and just all sorts of stuff. *sighs lightly* I know I'm going to get to school and go on about how much I miss home.

What's really scary is I don't know what to do after this upcoming year. I guess come home and start saving up money, but for how long? Until Ash maybe finds a job in Cali and follow her? It all seems so very scary. What if she doesn't find a job? When do I get my own place? Where do I get my own place? What if I want to leave home and live somewhere else? Maybe somewhere that snows?

It's all so different and scary. I remember being terrified about going to a "real" college, but that's past and now there's something new and terrifying rising up faster and faster and I know once i settle into it, it'll be fine, but still. I dunno. It's wild. Sometimes I miss the simplicity of childhood, when Christmases were still magical and when things like bills were foreign and the idea of being 'broke' seemed impossible because all adults are SUPPOSED to have money.

Oi.

I's tired.

So on the way to have breakfast with mom this morning dad was talking about what he was planning for dinner and said 'spaghetti' to which I went 'ooooh!' and asked if we could make garlic bread. So I was totally psyched about dinner until I remembered that my former American History teacher and I were having dinner tonight, and begged dad to save it for tomorrow, which he was cool with.

So I went to dinner with that totally awesome man tonight and it was great! Sometimes we have off days where we're both so tired, but not tonight! Tonight we were just going at it, non-stop laughing and talking and just a completely wonderful time. It's nights like this that remind me why I adore him so lmao

Anyway, finally I had a point where I realized it was dark and I didn't know what time it was. I checked my phone and saw I had a missed call, from dad, sure enough. Oops. Then I realize it's 9, we started eating at 6. Oops again. *Sighs* So we had to say goodnight, but we're planning to go see District 9 together before it comes out, which is wonderful ^^ because I totally wanna see this movie but I know dad probably wont want to go.

so yey! *Flails happily*

And we talked about our stories and it was such a blast! I'm totally in the mood for writing again xD What a man!

Well, I found a store that sounds like it'll take me. It was the one that I didn't really call yesterday because I was so discouraged, and did so today. The store manager sounded really friendly, walked me through what I had to do, and when I mentioned who my current manager was he's like "Oh yeah! I know him!!" and he says if everything stays about the same over the next 6 weeks then they can probably fit me in.

I checked out it's location then and realized it's in the middle of nowhere and a very slow store if I remember it correctly. It's only 5 miles from school, but it's location is just surrounded by woods and the random home or CVS. Hopefully it'll be okay though, maybe it'll be a really good store with plenty of great people. I'd like to actually like the store, it makes me want to call in less. I'll probably go in as a cashier or a bagger, cashiering would be preferable, though I deal with people a smidge less as a bagger, so who knows?

At the very least, this is a weight off my chest. The store manager didn't say YES I got the job, but he it sounds promising and that's enough for me at least. It takes out the stress of not knowing if I have a job or not. Maybe now I can go back to relaxing and looking forward to going back to school.

And as a fun surprise mom and dad are planning another trip to Disney, with me included =3 hurray!

So going back to college is supposed to be exciting, but it's just becoming stressful. I have to transfer stores so I can even keep my job and have a 'steady' income, so my parent's think. Well I called around some yesterday, but the answer was basically 'just send in a request for transfer and if we have an opening we'll let you know.'

Uhm...okay. Here's the deal, I live about 6 to 7 hours away from my job. I can't transport back and forward to keep up an income and to stay in the system, nor do I have the time. What's more, I can't just sit around while in St. Aug, hoping that they might call me back. I didn't have this trouble last time, wtf?

*Sighs* So... it's got me stressed, and work has me somewhat bummed out in general. I just barely want to wake up in the morning anymore. I don't even know what to do, nor do I have anyone close by I can talk to about it. Dad's always: "That's just life." But he's also content for me to work at a grocery store for the rest of my life, because it's good money and a solid job. Mom would be even happier if I stayed at home forever.

I hate how things have shifted so radically from extreme excitement about going back to school, and per usual this lousy company has ruined it for me.

I'm ready to go back to school, though I'm kind of dreading the occasion as well. Mostly because I still haven't called around to stores yet, and I really need to. I'm just praying I wont have to go back to the last store I was at. I really didn't care for it or how they ran things. Hopefully a different store will be better, if they'll at least take me, which I'm crossing my fingers they do. I figure I can work week nights, that way I can actually have weekends to chill and the impulse to call in on them will be a little bit less (I hope).

Dad and I went shopping yesterday for school things, and we made up one of those fabric memo boards that I've wanted forever. It was very cool. We hit lowes and got the board, and a fabric store for the fabric and elastic to hold everything up with and we did it up from scratch. It was very cool and it turned out awesome.

I also finally got one of those big sphere chairs. I've wanted one for ages and finally forked over the cash for it. I love it =3

My room just changed and I'm in a single room now, which is fine, it just means it's smaller, which is cool. Hopefully I'll still have room for my chair ^^;

I saw the new Transformers with dad today =3 it was SOOOOOO awesome!!

So I finally got on msn last night after...well...WEEKS of not being on. In fact, I haven't really done anything with msn since Jes and mine's fight, which was June 10th based on my newbienudes records. It's not that I'm mad at the chick anymore, it's just, I've had literally no desire to be online. We don't talk and our role plays bore me to tears. No reason anymore, so I stopped, and I've enjoyed it. I have more time for other things, writing, movies (Predator wooooh!) and just being around the rents or drawing or whatever. I just have more time to relax and do my own thing.

Well I finally got online last night and she messages me and asks if I'm mad at her. I say that no, I'm not really mad, though our last fight did throw me majorly off balance. I explain that recently I've just had desire or drive to get online. She then says that it's okay, if I get on she'll be there, if nor then she understands. And besides, "there'll be more time for online when summer's over =D" and that she's going to be early, goodnight.

I don't think this broad gets it. I don't know if I want to continue what friendship we really had going. To be totally honest, I don't want to have things go back to the way they were at college, because they'll get too good and comfy again, only to have her go back to this when college is over. Not my cup of tea, not wroth my time.

Then I wonder if maybe I'm being too hard. Jes once said she put up with all of Ariel's shit for so long because she was being a good Christian, so shouldn't I as a good person try again? Then I wonder if maybe I brought this all on myself. Maybe deep down I really started all of this with just my natural and annoying tendencies.

I don't think I'm a bad person because I don't want to be her "best friend" anymore, but I dunno *sighs* I've found I'm a lot happier when I don't really deal with her.

I am so sleepeh u.u

Dun wanna go to work tomorrow. *hides under blankets*