Today isn't quite going the way I pictured it in my mind. (Neither did my hair when I used mousse and blow-dried it a tiny bit.) Now, all I want is a little peace and quiet before I get dressed to go over to my friend's. Haven't decided yet about going out later. Kinda want to. But I was so busy yakking on the phone this morning, I forgot to run to the bank before noon. Not like I spend that much, unless I'm buying someone else's drinks...I guess it will depend how I feel later. I should probably stop procrastinating, though. Otherwise later will end up being too late. And I've got that restless feeling again.

Today did not go as planned. I was supposed to make a cake and go over to visit my friend. Not have sore legs from shoveling. (Not that I particularly enjoy having sore legs, but jeez, if they're going to be sore, couldn't be from something way more fun than shoveling?!) Almost got stuck in my driveway cause apparently, I didn't shovel my driveway wide enough. Anyway, I went to the store for jello, cake, and booze...and I ended up getting Three Olives Marilyn Monroe Strawberry cause it's MARILYN MONROE! What an awesomely beautiful woman. I bought my youngest biological brother (the same one who had the seizure last summer and almost drowned last summer) a cookbook based on some movie from 1970-what one, I can't remember-but there was a beautiful nude of Marilyn in it. Almost tempted me to keep it, but I'd picked it up for him...he collects cookbooks. Has hundreds of them, he certainly didn't need more, but after paging through it in the used bookstore downtown, I knew he definitely didn't have anything like it. (It contains recipes for corn beef HASH and chicken POT pie...and other similarly titled recipes, stating the herbs are optional.)

Feeling kinda bad about my friend's birthday, but I have no control over the weather. And if her daughter and daughter's boyfriend weren't such selfish asses, we'd be out celebrating right now. My birthday (in spite of the crazy girl obsessed with me, her psycho mother, and NOT hearing from the one person I wanted to hear from) was much better. Because I still got to mostly do what I want.

And speaking of girls who like me...this one who hit on me that had a thing with one of my nephews...is going to be moving upstairs from my friend. I'm wondering if it's going to be awkward. I hope not. She's a sweet girl. And she's fun to hang out with.

That's my view from behind my house.



It's still snowing. Definitely got my exercise today. Spent over 1 1/2 hours shoveling. And I'll probably have to shovel again, if I want to go anywhere. Though right now, the only places I'm interested in are the shower and my bed.

Just what I want to see in the later half of April.



Therapy was cancelled due to someone else's personal emergency. That was alright. I didn't want to clean the snow off my car to go anywhere. Could of rescheduled for tomorrow afternoon, but I have plans. It's my bf's birthday. I asked her what her favorite cake is and she says something about booze. Normally, for a friend's birthday, I'd be making jello or pudding shots (or both) but she isn't supposed to have alcohol until after all the court stuff. Maybe I should make her a booze cake...there's tons of recipes...and now I'm making myself really hungry for cake.

"And being alone is the best way to be
When I'm by myself, it's the best way to be
When I'm all alone, it's the best way to be
When I'm by myself, nobody else can say goodbye."

Had a good laugh, enjoyed my dove mint and dark chocolate swirled...just about time for bed.

So, the bridal fair apparently has been cancelled. (Due to unforeseen circumstances, whatever that means.) I feel so disappointed as I was looking forward to having a day with my girls and her fiance's sisters and mom doing the girlie thing...I never had any of that when I got married. (I didn't get anything I wanted, which was a big clue where things were going. I didn't even get cake!)

I am so proud of my oldest. She's the first of any of her cousins to graduate college (some didn't even graduate high school) and the first out of her siblings, as well. (She has four half-siblings.) My ex used to tell me that if I left him, she'd be pregnant by the time she turned fifteen and drop out of school. More like if I'd stayed with him, that might have been the case.

My friend wanted me to come over, help her move into the downstairs apartment. But when I thought about it, that wasn't what I really wanted to do. I have things to do here, and then there's my writing which I need to be spending way more time on. But that's not what I did cause I had the house to myself. (I watched porn and had some, uh, quality time with myself.) Tomorrow, I can always write. And later today, too. It's not like I'm going anywhere. It might snow again. All this snow was getting old a couple months ago...I might as well be living in Alaska. (At least there are more single men there.)

Not bad, for a fan-made video.



Spent most of the day with my oldest...it was pretty nice. I read her cosmo while she played her Sims3...then treated her at the coffee house (I had an almond breve and she had a strawberry steamer) and bought her lunch. Left me with about an hour of having the house to myself after she left for work. Didn't have any of that yesterday, with the fridge issues. And now, I need to get ready and run to the store. Have major grocery shopping to do; my fridge is looking mighty bare. (But it's so clean!)

The one thing I want-and fear-the most.



"If I never take
This leap of faith
I'll never know
So I'm learning to fall
With no safety net
To cushion the blow"

Was listening to old cds I burned ages ago...had forgotten about her. It's kind of funny, cause I always thought she wasn't white. (Is that like reverse racism?)

So...my friend and I were talking about men, in particular men who like having a stay-at-home wife. She was surprised that I have no problem being that woman. "I thought you'd be the last woman being okay with a man telling you what to do," she tells me. "I don't like anyone telling me what to do," was my response. (And I don't-I usually won't do something if I'm told I should, or I need to, or just plain told-even if I was going to do it in the first place.) But that is not the same thing as realizing my strengths and weaknesses, and that, in general, they differ from a man's...I LIKE men to be men...and taking care of someone in a relationship is a two-way street.

Is it just me or does Natasha Bedingfield look kinda like Chelsea Handler?

I have blogs to read and food to eat (though there are a couple other things I may want to put in my mouth...) It's a good thing I never became a nun...