At school one day, the teacher was trying to approach the topic of sex education and asked her students if they'd ever seen anything that was related to sex education on TV.

Mary raised her hand and said she had seen a movie about women having babies. “Great,” said the teacher, “that's very important. ”

Then Judy raised her hand and told the teacher she had seen a TV show about people getting married. “Well, that has to do with it too,” said the teacher.

Then Johnny raised his hand and said he had seen a western where some Indians came riding over the hill and John Wayne shot them all. The teacher said, “Well, Johnny, that really doesn't have anything to do with sex education.”

“Yes it does,” said Johnny, ” it taught those Indians not to fuck with John Wayne.”

Some people just aren't missing a screw
They are missing the whole tool box

I got in an elevator this morning
There was a Busty woman already in it
She asked if i could push One
Swelling in eye should go down in aday or two

Dont be a Window Licker

Well Ok..If you must ,you must

If you fart loudly in public
Say JET POWER and walk faster

When someone asks Wheres your Christmas Spirit
Is it wrong to point at the Liquor Cabinet

Three nuns die and go to heaven where they are met by St Peter at the pearly gates. St Pete says "Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives, that I'm granting you six months to go back to Earth and be anyone you want." The first nun says, "I want to be Bo Derek" and POOF she's gone. The second says, "I want to be Madonna" and POOF she's gone. The third says (with heavy Italian accent), "I want to be Sarah Pepalini." St Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he says. "Sarah Pepalini" replies the nun. St Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, that name just doesn't ring a bell." The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St Peter. He reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says, "No Sister, this says, Sahara Pipeline laid by 500 men in 7 days!"

The cop pulled me over and asked
You been drinking
I said you buying
We laughed and laughed
I need Bail Money

Q: Why do men take showers instead of baths?

A: Pissing in the bath is disgusting.

Today 2yr olds can unlock a cell phone,pc and open apps
When i was two i was eating Dirt with a spoon