A mom is tidying her son's bedroom and finds a hidden stack of bondage and fetish magazines. She asks her husband what to do. He says DO NOT SPANK HIM!

I don't like selfish people. I saw this guy pushing like 50 carts at Wal-mart last night. Really!? You think someone else might want one?!

1.Do you know why a prostitute makes more money then a drug dealer? The prostitute can wash her crack and resell it !!

2.saw a middle-eastern friend shaking a carpet on 6th floor balcony. I called out "whats up Ahmed, won't it start?"

3.Two 80yr old men, Tom and Jose. Tom says "I sure feel my age, I ache all over." Jose says "I feel like a newborn, no hair no teeth and I just peed my pants"

4.Worlds shortest dirty joke. Little boy sitting in the bath tub, looking at his privates. Says 'Mommy are these my brains?' Mommy said 'Not yet'.

5.THE BEST WAY TO BATHE A CAT... add soap to the toilet, add the cat, close the lid... it's self agitating... flush a couple times to rinse, lift the lid and run

The job interview was going well,until i realized i was fucked up ,naked standing in a cornfield,talking to a scarecrow

Shot my first turkey today
Scared the shit out of the people in the frozen food section

Oh... the look on the Home Depot associate's face when I asked him if the pruning shears will cut through bone...

priceless.

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"

The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she m
ight need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"

The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already?" he asked.

"Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."

use to get a laugh from the blogs and forums,now just want to take a baseball bat to some,guess its time for a break from NN,,,not deleting just taking a break