What's your ringtone on your phone?

I've been searching for one that sounds like an English tone

(that little pause between the rings)

but for now I'm using the old standard land-line ring.

The reason I'm wanting to change mine is because if I'm in a room of people my age,

it's both funny and confusing when someone receives a call -

because most other people my age use the same ringtone.

I want to be different so that I know it's my phone ringing.

~

If I want to be able to fly commercial in my state after May 7th, I have to have a little 'star' on my driver's license.

One has to jump through hoops to prove you're a resident of this state.

You must show the BMV:

A copy of your birth certificate ($20.00 for a copy from the Health Department).

Proof of where you live (2 copies of different bills with your address on them).

Then buy a new driver's license ($20.00).

I hope the person(s) who came up with another way to gouge us for more money at least got a raise or a bonus,

or as I refer to it - blood money.

~

Glad to see the snow go,

but

now it's allergy season.

Last night I had a sinus headache so bad I had to go to bed early.

Today

I woke up with an itchy watery eye.

The things we go through for warmer weather.

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt."

~ Mark Twain

It's hard to tell sometimes if someone is being sarcastic with you.

See if you can see the sarcasm in the following statement:

I am SO looking forward to eating my little microwave meal!

If you can see the sarcasm you're on top of things.

If you don't,

best of luck to you.

~

A pretty girl from Montana who loves anal would be called...

A Butte beauty pirate..

~

When I was a boy, my parents would have a cup of coffee in the living room.

Sometimes they would have a second cup and usually would only drink half of it.

That's when I would be asked to take those half finished cups into the kitchen and put them in the sink.

I would sneak a sip - at first to gauge the taste.

Dad put cream in his cup. I didn't like it.

Mom put a little sugar in, no cream. That I liked.

After awhile, it got to where I would finish mom's second cup and pour dad's down the drain.

When I started high school, I also started smoking cigarettes.

To pay for them (and other things I wanted, like records) I learned I could live on coffee and save the rest of my lunch money.

I also liked the caffeine buzz that kept me awake in some of the more boring classes I had.

After high school I started drinking tea.

Partly because I liked the taste better than coffee,

but mainly because there were so many different types to try.

After I got my first computer, over 20 years ago, I switched back to coffee.

It fit into my morning routine better to me.

Coffee, paper, computer.

I still drink a cup of green tea on Sundays,

but I have come full circle on coffee.

God help us coffee addicts if something ever wipes out our supply.

~

I absolutely love the speed up measures implemented in MLB this season.

No more of those 4 hour marathon 9 inning games because

batters had to step out and scratch their balls

or

pitchers had to wander around the mound to get psyched up to throw a pitch.

It's nice to watch a game that,

even with a lot of runs scored,

is usually over in 2 to 2 1/2 hrs.

More like the games I watched growing up.

The extra bullshit is gone and I'm delighted with the results.

In 1959, at the wee age of 7, I was crushed by the headlines that Superman was dead of suicide.

I knew that Superman was not real. I knew it was the actor who played him on t.v. at the time.

But it hurt me and millions of other kids that a hero was gone.

I've lost a lot of heroes over the years, but this was my first and it cut me deeply.

When I became an adult, I often wondered why a man adored by so many would take his own life.

Thanks to the internet, I was able to delve into the mystery,

and find out that maybe he didn't kill himself,

that it was possibly murder.

This movie, based loosely on events that transpired at that time,

only serves to make me think that it was murder.

See for yourself:



~

Always make sure to use capitals when describing things.

Otherwise,

Helping Uncle Jack off a horse

becomes

Helping uncle jack off a horse.