I got distracted on my way to bed by a bunch of stuff that needed to be done. I know I am gonna catch hell for it later and I fully expect an irate call from my spouse when he pops in to read my blog, but I got sick of seeing stuff that needed to be dealt with and just passing it by. I don't like sitting there and twiddling my thumbs, waiting for someone to do something for me. It frustrates the hell out of my husband but it is just the way I am wired. Instead of napping I:

Started a load of laundry
unloaded the dishwasher
loaded the dishwasher
emptied the recycling
hauled the trash can and recycle bin into the backyard
scooped all litter boxes in the house
swept the cattery floor

I would have done more had my shoulder not started to bitch at me, so now I shall go eat some tylenol and apply the heating pad and sit quietly like a good girl in front of the tv for a bit. I know I shouldn't push things but if I sat there tamely, twiddling my thumbs then I wouldn't be me now would I?

Sorry babe, I know you will be upset at me but I just couldn't sit around and do nothing. I was getting so antsy. I will go relax now. I promise I won't do anything more until you come home tonight.

Puurrs to all,

Currently listening to: Amy Winehouse "Rehab"

Now that my back is improving somewhat and I can find a comfortable position to lay in for more than 5 minutes, all I want to do is sleep. Still feel drag-ass tired but am getting better. I am thinking my body needs more sleep than it's getting right now and I need to make up for all I lost. I know pain saps a lot out of you but I need to bounce back a lot faster than this.

I just want to get better quick so I can go back to my normal every day life. I am horny as hell (despite the pain and tiredness) but I am scared shitless to do anything. I got 2 awful back spasms the last time we fucked a couple days ago and I DON'T want that to happen again...the pain was unbelievable. I am no fan of pain and after experiencing pain like that during a sex act made me question the sanity of people who find pain a turn-on. It was horrible. Nothing about it was pleasurable, it HURT. Just thinking about it makes me cringe. You folks that are into the whole hurt-so-good thing can keep it, I want no part of it. On that note I am gonna go take a nap.

Puurrs to all,

Currently listening to: Beck "Timebomb"

I did get some sleep today. Hubby saw how messed up I was and took our son to school so I could have a few hours of rest. Thankfully he did that for me, because I was to the point that no matter how much caffeine I consumed, I wouldn't be able to stay awake.

After he left to run the carpool and go to work I went back to bed and basically passed out. I was so far gone that when he stopped back at home to pick something up and check on me, I didn't even hear him. He said I was waaaaay out. Trust me, that NEVER happens. I am such a light sleeper that any little thing wakes me up but not this time. An earthquake wouldn't have woken me today!

After sleeping the sleep of the dead I woke up and ate some lunch (yeah it was lunchtime by then) and did my best to gently stretch my back and shoulder muscles. I had become very stiff after tossing and turning all night and then passing out and sleeping in one position for about 3 hours. I didn't push it much - I didn't dare - and then opted for a super hot shower. My husband had just installed a new massaging shower head last night and it really helped. I turned the water on as hot as I could stand it and turned the massager on and just stood there for like 15 minutes. Yeah a huge waste of water, but I really needed it. It did help ease the muscles somewhat. I think I will do it again before I go to bed.

It's funny that life seems a lot more bearable when you are well rested and even pain can be dealt with a lot easier.

Puurrs to all,

Currently listening to: Book Of Love "Witchcraft"

It's 4:39am. I should be in bed. Asleep. I can't sleep. I hurt too much to sleep. I tried and tried but couldn't. I am ready to cry from frustration, exhaustion and plain old pain. In just a couple hours I have to wake my son up for school and start my day. I am unsure how I will negotiate my day in a fog of tiredness. I happened to glance at my reflection in a mirror and I look like a zombie. I guess that is what happens when you have gone without any meaningful rest for 3 days.My skin is so pale and my eyes look glassy. The dark circles under my eyes are so prominent I look like I have been punched in the face. I just want to be able to lay down and sleep. I am so damn angry at everyone around me because they are sleeping and I can't. Hearing my husband snoring away is making my blood boil because I can't get to where he is. I hurt so bad I can't find a comfortable way to lay so I could sleep. This fucking sucks.

I admit it. I do stupid shit at times. Things that really make me sit back and question my intelligence (or lack thereof).

Three days ago I hurt my back. I wasn't lifting anything heavy or anything like that; I was in my car lying on my side trying to reach for something shoved under the drivers seat. Somehow I managed to pull something. When I stood up it felt like a glass of ice water had been poured down my left arm to my hand and the pain from my neck to under my shoulder blade was horrible. It hurt to breathe! Hmmmm. Not good. I still don't have a clue as to what I did to fuck myself up. I am used to working my muscles - I work out with weights 3 - 4 times a week and I am quite flexible, but I must have strained something in a way it didn't like, cuz I am hurting. That was Stupid Thing #1.

Now for Stupid Thing #2. I was horny last night. Yep. I let my hooha do the thinking for me rather than the brain. It sounded really good at the time and it felt really good at the time. Until I came. I was feeling nice and blissed out while hubby was going down on me and when I had an orgasm it was shocking. Shockingly pleasurable and then PAINFUL. I had forgotten how much my back arches and my body twitches when I orgasm, and my god it felt like I was kicked in the back. What started out as whimpers and moans of pleasure turned into whimpers and moans of pain. I not only got a most excellent orgasm, but a muscle spasm in my back, too. Yippee!

Ready for Stupid Thing #3?

I had him go down on me again.

What a dumb shit I am. My pussy wanted more and it overrode my brain which was desperately trying to convince my body that it was a bad bad idea, that it hurt like a motherfucker and just might hurt again. Did I listen to my brain? No. I listened to my clit. I should have known better; my clit is very selfish and cares only about it's needs, unlike my poor brain who is thoughtful and cautious. The brain lost and the clit won. So guess what happens then? Another orgasm! And another big ole back spasm!!! The second one was worse than the first and I was in major pain till the spasm subsided. My husband was getting really concerned and wanted to stop but that led me to Stupid Thing #4: I told him to fuck me.

I know it was the last thing I should have done, but I had a momentary lapse of reason and did it anyhow. I know my hubby was having second thoughts but I insisted and kept insisting, so he got to work. After the first 2 minutes I realised what a horrible mistake it was but I didn't stop it (Stupid Thing #5) and just kept going. Every thrust was agony and when he finished I was in tears. It wasn't his fault it was mine. I was stupid and greedy and didn't listen to what my body (and brain) was trying to tell me and I paid for it. I spent an agonizing 15 minutes waiting for the painkillers to kick in so I could go xxxxxxxxxxx and forget the pain in my body. My poor husband was trying to soothe me and was rubbing a numbing ointment into the muscle in my back that had tightened up - it was like a hard lump on my back - while I lay there in tears silently berating myself until I slipped off into lala land. I don't know if he came to bed or not, but I woke up around 3:30am and the painkiller had worn off and I was hurting so bad I actually got out of bed and threw up. Lovely. I had forgotten that pain at times can make you nauseous. I crawled back into bed and tried to find a comfortable position to lay so I could sleep but it didn't happen. I just shifted around in misery for a couple hours till my body gave up and conked out from exhaustion.

I got up just a bit ago and I look like hammered shit. Big dark circles under my eyes. Ugh. And tired. So tired. Drugged sleep is not refreshing in the least, so I look as if I haven't slept for days. I am a mess. A stupid mess. A lot of this could have been avoided if I hadn't been so cock hungry and stupid.

I hope all of you will learn from my mistakes and not ever let your crotch do the thinking, cuz it will get you in trouble. It certainly got me into trouble. Now I am going to limp off to a hot shower. Maybe that will help me. My hubby is gonna have to wash my hair for me and my back since I can't seem to move very well or reach my left arm higher than my shoulder.

Puurrs to all,

Currently listening to: The hum of my hard drive

Did you miss me? Course not! I wouldn't expect you to. I really have missed you, though.

My couple of days away turned into a lot longer than I had expected. Thanks to our DSL modem taking an utter dump we had to wait for a new one to be shipped out and it finally was on Friday. Isn't it amazing how in thrall to technology we are? I actually sat there wringing my hands in despair "what am I gonna do?!?" I couldn't chat. Couldn't shop. Couldn't send or receive email. Couldn't perv. Couldn't pay bills on line. Couldn't get maps or directions. Couldn't google anything. Couldn't buy new music for my itunes. I actualy had to do it all"the olde fashioned way" and get up off my ass and leave my desk. Oh, the humanity!!! It was bizarre. I felt dead in the water. Such an odd feeling. Yeah my husband would have his laptop with a wireless card in the evenings when he would get home, but he spent most of the time on it and I really don't like using his laptop so I just threw in the towel and decided to just live without for a while. I did get in a good amount of reading and finally got thru that backlog of my stuff on the tivo.

But now I am back and have my internet connection again but I am reluctant to do much. It is kind of hard to type right now. I somehow managed to hurt my back and pinch a nerve so my left hand is numb. It makes it really really hard to type, I am going so slow right now and my head is all muddy from the painkillers. I have my shit back but now I don't want to use it! It is to uncomfortable. WTF?!? I guess it is a case of 'be careful what you wish for.' I wanted my internet back in the worst way but now I am all messed up and can hardly type this shit out. Meh. Ah well. At least I have it if I feel up to using it. Right now I feel like taking another painkiller and checking out for a bit. Maybe I will feel better later.

Puurrs to all,

Currently listening to: Len "Steal My Sunshine"

Need a couple days away from this place.

Be good everyone, and don't do anything I wouldn't do


Puurrs to all,

Currently listening to Jethro Tull "Aqualung"

Rubbing alcohol will remove tree sap from clothing. Really. It works!

Fancy that...


Puurrs to all,

Currently listening to: The Dream Academy "Life In A Northern Town"

I was going to blog about my sexy late night fun last night but fuckit, I am just too damn tired to bother. I think I will have a cup of tea and go to bed early. Maybe tomorrow I will feel more like blogging. Meh.

Puurrs to all,

Currently listening to: The hum of my hard drive

First day of the new school year today! My baby is in 3rd grade.

Holy crap I just can't believe it. It seems like only yesterday I was trying to pry him off my leg while he was crying hysterically for his first day of pre-school. I will never forget that morning; I peeled him off of me, handed him over to the teacher and walked back to the car and burst into tears. My husband had to keep hold of my hand or else I would have run back and rescued my baby from the scary pre-school. Things seem to have happened in the blink of an eye. My baby is growing up. No longer the terrified, clinging 4 year old. He is now 9 and barely stops to say goodbye when I drop him off at school. I have to remind him to "Give your mother a kiss!" before he runs off to be with his friends. I am happy but sad all at the same time. I am thrilled that he is a happy and well adjusted kid, but sometimes I miss the baby that clung to me and thought I was the center of his universe. *sigh* In a few years he will be a teenager and won't want to be seen in public with his boring old mom, so I had better enjoy everything I can till then.

Puurrs to all,

Currently listening to: Audioslave "What You Are"