So Ash finally broke up with her idiot boyfriend, or they broke up together, whatever, they're done. I don't know how *long* it'll be, but I'm relieved it's finally over. They went so damn long, I was scared they'd never stop, and maybe they wont, they haven't. Maybe they'll end up together again and all this really is, is a break.

In either case. I told her I was sorry. When she said she believe in romance anymore I reminded her I'm still quite taken with her, though deep down I'm still cared I'm nothing more than a lesbian itch to her. In any case, I'm not going to push anything, I'm going to give her her space. I wont see her again until July anyway. But maybe now that he's out of the way we could be together? I'd like that. *Sighs*

Okay, so here's the story based on the comic I'm doing with Ash:

The basic state is that there's a young stripper who dies and is picked up by the Grim Reaper gets a Second Chance, though no one's sure as to why, she just is. She's taken to this house, separated from all family and friends to start over clean and meets another girl there, who had died but was picked up by a Soul Stealer instead of being sent to the afterlife, and they become best friends.

ANYWAY! There's a fellow in that house as well named Jax, and he's got a big thing for Red and Red ends up having a small thing for him, but she hasn't been in a relationship since she was left at the alter when she was 18. So she just wants to get laid and isn't too excited about the ideer of a relationship, but Jax wants her to fall in love with him first. Well...one thing after another, he ends up losing the chance to his brother, the Grim Reaper that picked Red up in the first place, Jag. Jag has sex with her and a relationship develops on accident.

So last night I was chilling and I saw the cover of this romance book: [url]http://www.cassieryan.com/assets/images/ceremony%20of%20seduction%20hi%20rez%20cover.jpg[/url]

And I made this picture from it:

I woke up this morning, checked the deviant art page I had put it on, and saw my dear Ash had done a response comic:[url]http://grimalkn.deviantart.com/art/Touche-121622793[/url]

This is all very awesome lol

I get crushes on all the wrong guys. Like presently. Since 8th grade I've had the biggest crush on my American History teacher (of that time). I dunno what attracted me to him, at least not then. Now it's just his sense of humor, he can make me laugh, he's such a funny guy, we can spend hours just talking and talking about most anything. He's intelligent, a fantastic writer, and just piques my interest in all the right ways. I'm attracted to him to the point that, despite the fact there's quite a few things I find physically unattractive about him, I really can't give a damn because I'm so happy to just be around him. His personality alone is sexy to me.

But he's gotta have a girl friend, and he's gotta be in his thirties. It's just not fair. He's a wonderful writer and considers me one of his better editors, which is, in and of itself, an honor to me and a huge compliment. So he told me how a friend of his has a money-making scheme and blah blah blah, in the end, he had to write a short story, about 60 pages double spaced, on anal sex, and he wanted me to review it for him, though how he blushed when he asked! I, of course, agreed. I got it, and it wasn't the sexy, steamy porno I was hoping for, more of a self-help short story, but there were a few parts that got me all warm and fidgety, and it's just not fair. *Sigh* We were hoping to grab dinner together this week, but it's crazy on his end, especially since the school is nearing its end of the year so they're doing all sorts of things. So perhaps next week, or the next week, it really doesn't matter, I know if this guy snapped I'd struggle to answer. Bugger lol

In any case, I drew a new picture tonight. Came out cute I think:

We had left over Italian for dinner last night. I guess there was something wrong with mine. I woke up around 3 in the morning with bad stomach cramps, and it's been bothering me ever since.

Now sissy's moving, and I'm going to miss her terribly.

I don't feel good and while I'm happy for her, I'm not happy.

*hides in bed*

So I had my first day in the bakery. Got up at 5:30 and went there for my 6 a.m. shift. First thing I did was start packing french bread and cuban bread and putting it all away, then the bagels, then some pastries. Well after that I started packing bread, which I did for the rest of the day, one rack after another. And it wasn't that bad =) I only messed up about three loaves. One of them I accidentally dropped, the other two I kinda squished in the bread slicer, which I am NOW a pro at. I must've sliced at least a hundred or more loaves of bread today lol Course it probably just feels like that, I was slow, being new.

I also only made one fairly big mistake, which was to label about fifteen bags of french hamburger buns as just plain hamburger buns, which meant I was selling them at about a dollar less than they were. My assistant manager was cool about all of it, so far a really nice guy. He was patient, answered all my questions and was generally always about when I needed him.

It was fun packing. I mean, I did have to interact with customers, but on a far lesser level than I did as a cashier or as customer service. I'll ask people if they need help with something or other but in general it's just me, and I love it. I also think I was fairly liked by some of the people there. My manager told me I was doing an awesome job for my first day and seemed surprised when I got something done and one of the lady's that works there that's been there FOREVER asked me at one point when I was leaving to go home and I shrugged and said I didn't know, I guess whenever my manager wanted me to. And she kinda brightened and said that was great and she wanted to keep me now lol so I'm feeling a smidge better.

All around, it's been a pretty cool day. I'm due back tomorrow at 6 again, but my boss said I'll be working in the decorating section on key lime pies. Hopefully it'll be as nice as it was today =3

So I went to my new store today and talked to my new assistant manager. Anywho, he's finally got me on the schedule and I'll start working tomorrow. 6 am to 3. I felt like such a dork when he said 'Can you come in at 6?' and my response was this blond little: "In the morning?" Der.

It's been a while since I've to be up that early though. Not a biggie. I'll just wake up at 5:30, get in a quick breakfast, put on new uniform, which I don't really have yet, they were out of baker whites so I'll be wearing a cashier's shirt (ugh) and my black pants, which is fine. I gotta go to K-mart today and get the approved shoes.

I also got in contact with that former teacher of mine I have the huge crush on. He says we can do dinner sometime next weak at the local cheap Chinese food place, which is fine because it's actually one of my most favorite places to go =3 And generally as long as I'm hanging with him, I generally don't care where we are. So it's melding into a pretty good week =)

Fuck people. I'm tired of people. I'm tired of trying to be friends with people that would rather buckle under mommy and daddy and be a good little robot that try something new, I'm tired of being friends with people that would rather point a finger at me than accept responsibility for things. I'm tired of trying to get a boyfriend because no matter what I do it seems people aren't going to be interested and I'm personally tired of trying to help people that will listen to my advice then shrug it off, give an internal 'fuck you' and then come crying to me when things aren't quite working out.

I don't get it. I don't WANT to get it. If they all just leave me alone, fine. I don't fucking care anymore.

I fucking made a *B* in Experimental Psyche! A *B*!!!! I did more than pass! I did even BETTER! WOOOOOOHHHHH!!

The tattoo artist I TOTALLY have a crush on agreed to be my friend on myspace! *Flails like a little girl*

So I lost my temper with Filo yesterday. Didn't actually do anything to her besides ignore her. I dunno, Noel's just been bummed and I never get to spend time with my dog anymore, because whenever I try to Filo comes racing over for her OWN attention and the two would get into a fight. So at one point I walked into the kitchen and Noel's just sitting there sighing and looking sad, so I give her half a treat and it perks her up and she waddles into the living room to eat it.

Well...Filo sees Noel has a treat, comes over and literally snatches it out of her mouth and Noel just kind of sighs and looks sadly on as Filo eats her treat. Well that just did it for me. I picked up Noel and took her into my room and sat her on my (new and very big =3) bed, and brought my laptop into my room, shut the door and just spent the rest of the night playing WoW, watching Repo and cuddling with Noel.

I dunno if she liked it or not, but it was good to finally have some time that wasn't interrupted by the puppy. I know I was really excited when we first got Filo, and I know it's not Filo's fault, but I'm starting to regret getting her =/