I'll be so glad when this week is done. Monday was the last time I met with my old therapist. Friday I meet with the new one again. Glad for the change, the reasons anyhow, but even good changes are stressful. Tomorrow, I take my youngest to the orthopedic center. Then I have next week to look forward to. Going to my best friend's (although that's pretty much family) which for the most part isn't too bad. My daughter's fiance's mother also invited us to their house...I told her I'd go if she wanted me to. Though I'd really rather not. But I am looking forward to baking sweet potato pie, duck, and my wild rice stuffing. Which I don't actually put in the duck. And if I'm feeling really motivated, I might even make cookies.

Had a mostly great weekend. Out with the girls, practiced flirting. No drama. Watched a movie with my daughter and her fiance last night, so I stayed up quite a bit later than I intended. But I ended up taking my youngest to the emergency walk-in clinic yesterday afternoon. She had a school dance Friday night...and I guess she was seeing how high she could kick her leg...must of been pretty high cause she managed to kind of flip herself and landed on her elbow. They called me this morning to tell me it looks like there's a cracked bone somewhere so I have to take her in for more x-rays Thursday cause I guess since it's a small fracture (that they can't pin-point) it's not dire. I would think the sooner the better, but I'm not a doctor so what do I know?

Tomorrow, I think is going to be a good morning for writing. No appointments. Or commitments of any kind. And it's been too long since I sat down to write. Who knows? Maybe I'll even clean my room.

Had the whole house to myself most of the afternoon, and now again for a couple hours. Feeling so much better. I've always needed alot of alone time, even as a small child. And right now it's nice to be able to listen to loud music and not be pestered for 101 different things as I'm trying to get ready to go out with friends.
And now I'm about to run to the store for some caramel vodka and apple cider. I was so disappointed earlier cause I really wanted to get Leinenkugel's Snowdrift Vanilla Porter but they didn't have any. And I love dark beer. Especially when it's slightly sweet.

Maybe one of these days I'll share some of my poetry...but I have to really think about it cause alot of it is deeply personal and it's very few people whom I have ever let read much-if any-of it. (And also that whole if you put any online, publishers consider them to be "previously published" and most take only unpublished works.)

Think I'll go to the tanning bed again tomorrow...have yet to see any difference, but I guess tanning beds are different than laying out in the sun. Yesterday was only the third time ever I've tried that. One of the things I miss about living in the Tampa Bay area; I never had to try to get a tan, just hit the pool around 4pm most days.

Time for bed...maybe if I experience "la petite mort' I'll sleep well. Lack of privacy, worst thing about my daughter being back home.

I didn't schedule my appointments on the wrong day...I had started to, judging by the fact I had both the 6th and 7th written down for one. And it's not like I don't have a wall calendar to write these things on, or a little one I carry specifically for scheduling appointments.

Met with my new therapist today. So next Monday may well be the last time with the other one. Because I have to see my shrink at a different office, yesterday I had go and do an intake/initial evaluation...very emotionally draining.

Took my oldest to vote for the very first time. (For her, not me.)

Went tanning today. I don't think it did anything, though. Other than make me horny.

I'm thinking maybe this Saturday, even if it means going by myself, I should go out. I haven't gone out by myself in awhile.

Realized a couple hours ago I scheduled two appointments tomorrow, 45 minutes apart. So I'm going to have to try to reschedule one of them in the morning. I hate making phone calls. The same way I hate spiders.

Kept myself busy today. I was feeling a bit on the moody side, well maybe more like alot, and just wanted to hide in my bed. But instead, I made myself get up and vacuum my car, clean the kitchen, and do some laundery.

Didn't go out last night. Kinda got ditched. But that's only a little bit cause for the moodiness. Some of it's for no reason, it just happens. Some of it's because my feeling's are hurt. And even though I know logically that I shouldn't be bothered or hurt, feelings aren't based on logic.

I'm hoping my schedule will start to even out a bit this week. I need to sit down and finish something I've written. Other than poetry, I mean. I have a few short stories I've started but I always manage to get a bit...distracted. And it would be good for me to actually finish something I've started. Whether or not it's any good is beside the point.

Had a great birthday. My oldest made cream cheese stuffed chicken breasts. They were delicious, but I had to laugh. She's never made any stuffed chicken breasts before, and did her coating and pan frying BEFORE stuffing them. Needless to say, they wouldn't roll up properly. Her and her fiance brought me over to my best friend's and had a couple drinks with the girls and me.

Tonight, think I'm just going out with my best friend, though. The one with the hots for me is making me feel uncomfortable...she came in the bathroom with me, which I thought nothing of, because girls do that all the time...however, she wanted to make out with me. She kept trying to get me to go in the bathroom with her again which I would of never done in the first place if I'd known that. Even if I wasn't practicing abstinence, she has too many issues...and I don't want to get involved with someone who isn't available to be in a monogamous relationship at some point. And preferable someone with a penis. Cause while I do find women to be beautiful and sexy (and girls together are so hot!) I love men.

And I know someone who likes me, has for a very long time. But (there's almost always a but with me, being the commitment phobe I am) I found out he was dating (and sexually active) with a close friend. (But obviously not close enough for her to tell me, cause I was under the impression they were just friends.)

Well, I'd better get a move on things. Still have to fix dinner and shower. My kitchen wasn't cleaned up last night, not really, but at least the food got put away.

I know I tend to be suspicious by nature, but when people (and I mean mostly men) show me time and again that they have ulterior motives for whatever they're doing...well, it's learned behavior. And since I don't flirt for the sake of flirting or boredom, I have the tendency to get more than a little pissed when someone does that to me. Especially finding out they have a girlfriend.

But anyway, I had a fabulous time out last night. I don't usually go out on school nights, but hey, it was Halloween and that's my most favorite holiday ever. So I went out with a couple of my girls and didn't get to bed until about 5 this morning...so I'm going on about 2 hours of sleep. I know I need to sleep, or tomorrow is probably not going to be as much fun as it should be.

The reason for getting my hair highlighted: My oldest needed a model for her new job. Her supervisor wanted to see her strengths and weaknesses, I guess, even though she just graduated. So whatever. So I come in, and she's asking her supervisor if she should use a dye to highlight my hair-since it's already blonde and been lightened a few times, or if she should use something with a toner. Her supervisor told her to use bleach. Which is not something they EVER used on clients at her school. Because you can fry someone's hair that way. Which is exactly what happened to mine. So, I ended up with a haircut as well-pretty much like how she refused to cut my hair before-and I told her, it's no big deal. It's just hair. It'll grow back. And next time, she shouldn't doubt herself.

Interesting, though. I didn't know when hair got fried from over-processing, it would get soft and mushy. I always thought it would be like straw.