Viewing Member - beachdreamz

AKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

I have a toothache and its killing me. OMG So much pain.

I was reading through my blog last night and its like I am reliving it...almost everything is the same right down to the toothache and its scaring me.

There is NO way possible I can afford to have this pulled at the moment so I need to find a cure. I went online and of all things it says to use a raw onion -something which I actually do have so I am going to use that and Pray like never before. Anyone know any other home remedies that work in case this doesn't? I am ready to pull my hair out and I have a job interview tomorrow..going with a lot of bald spaces may not look good. Then again neither does crying or a mouthful of raw onion

I just spent a lazy saturday night -which is ok because I know that is going to change soon. I was getting somewhat tired and thought "hmm I should go to bed early" then I can wake up at a half decent time and head to the gym...so what do I do...turn some music on and soon its 3 hours later and I am bopping around with the tunes cranked way up....LOL the older and cheesier the song the more pumped up I am getting.

When will I learn? I am worse than a child lol

The Ultimate SEX Survey


Do you like it rough or sensual?: both..more sensual
Do you prefer to be with the opposite sex or the same sex? or both?: opposite
How often do you like to have sex?: all the time
Is sex a top priority for you?: yes
Do you have sex face to face with your partner?: yes
How often do you get drunk and have wild, crazy sexy with a complete stranger?: never
How do you feel about one night stands?: not for me
How many one night stands have you had?: one
What's your favorite position?: all
Where's your favorite place to have sex?: in bed
Do you prefer to make love or f*uck?: love
Have you ever watched porn while having sex?: yes
How long do you usually fore-play b4 doing the deed?: mmm long time
Do you get off first or do they?: dont matter
Do you like kissing during sex?: yes
Do you moan? If so, are you loud or quite?: yes/medium
Do you prefer your partner to be loud or quite?: medium
Does size matter (for girlz-- dicks/for guyz-- boobs)?: umm a lil
How old were you when you lost your virginity?: 19
How many sexual partners have you have in the last month?: 1
What does your favorite fore-play include?: bj, manual
Do you ever play with yourself during the act?: some
Do you prefer to sleep with randoms or one person?: one person
Have you ever done anal? If so, did you like it?: yes..was ok
When and where was your wildest sex ever?: didnt happen yet
What's your ultimate sexual fantasy?: center ice
Have you ever done porn?: no
Have you ever have sex for money?: no
Have you ever bribed someone to sleep with you?: no
Is the sex still good when your cheating?: um not for me
During sex... what are you thinking about?: more sex
Do you prefer the top or the bottom at first?: bottom
How many positions do you like to do during one episode?: varies
Do you ever worry about how your pleasing your partner?: a lil but not much
Could you live without sex?: wouldnt want to but have been
How often do you find sex boring?: never
How long does a typical sexual episode last for you?: 1 hr
Do you like to perform oral sex?: yes
Do you like to recieve oral sex?: yes
Have you ever taped yourself in the act?: no
Have you ever had a 3-some? 4-some? 5-some?: no
Have you ever had interracial sex?: no
Have you ever been caught in the act? If so, by whom?: almost
Have you ever had sex while at work?: no
Have you ever had sex while at school?: no
What is something that you would never consider doing?:
Have you ever had sex on drugs?: no
Would you ever have sex in public?: yes
What's your biggest turn on?: men
Do you spit or swallow?: swallow
How many times have you gotten off in one night?: 2-3
Would you let other people watch you have sex live?: no
Have you have ever sex in front of your best friend?: no
Have you ever had sex with your best friend's b/f or g/f?: no
Do you ever have sex in the shower?: yes
What's the weirdest place you've ever done it?: stairwell
What was the biggest age difference with a partner?: 8 yrs
Do you feel your up to par in bed?: somewhat
Are you still gonna have sex when your 70?: hopefully
What was your most embarrassing sexual moments?: bleeding
How old is "too young" to have sex your in opinion?: under 18
Do you like to be completely naked or half-assed?: half
Have you ever done it at your grandparent's?: yes
Have you ever done it on a boat/yacht?: no
What's the most public place that you can think of that you've had sex at?: beach/field
Do you like having sex in cars? If so, driver seat, passenger, or back?: yes back
Do you were protection as often as you should?: no
Has any of your one night stands resulted in a child that you know of?: no
If your over 18, have you ever had sex with someone under 18?: no
Do you prefer to sleep with someone older or younger than you?: same
What's the perfect size? (for girlz-- inches in dicks/for guyz-- cup size)?: no idea
Have you ever done bondage sex (chains,whips,etc.)? If not, would you?: no
Have you ever slept with someone out of pity?: no
Can you remember who gave you the best sex of your life?: umm no
If you could sleep with ANYONE, would would it be?: i lost my chance with him

I just watched one of my favorite movies "Bring It On" LOL yeah its pure cheeziness but its got catchy tunes and makes me laugh..Plus I always wanted to be a cheerleader-- haha I should find a cheerleader costume someday and take pics just so I can pretend lol

/me heads out singing

I'm sexy! / I'm cute! / I'm popular to boot! / I'm bitchin'! / Great hair! / The boys all like to stare!

Freakin freezing!

I went to the gym today and when I left it was pouring rain out and I got soaked waiting for the bus. I am that deep shivering cold where nothing but sex or a shower is going to help...haha so I guess shower it is

I need help -although this may pertain more to Canadians but I'm am not sure.

Where do I find the rules regarding landlord/tenant agreements?

I am having trouble with my landlord but I really don't think there is much I can do.

I rented this apartment in Nov on a 6 month lease. I moved in on Nov 2. Since then my landlord has been here I would easily say 10 or more times with things to do here. For the most part I do get notice but its getting crazy. Today he had to come to rip out a part of a wall so a new furnace can be put in. Now tomorrow I will have a construction crew here all day to install the furnace and then he is coming back on Thursday to fix the rest up.

While yes I am obviously thankful he fixes things that need be be fixed I want my privacy. I am trying to find a job and I am trying to be home to anwser the phone a much as possible yet I am leaving because I live in a small bach apt and I don't feel comfortable being here with a bunch of people I don't know. Plus one day I came home and my door was left wide open while he was off in another unit...I was home 20 minutes or more before he even knew I was home so anyone could have come in and taken anything. Plus there are lots of squirrels and etc around.

Today I appoached him asked how much longer all this was going to take and he exploded at me. Yelling and going on. Finally I had enough and pointed out I rented from him and I was going to be treated with some respect which his comeback was basically that it was the other way around. I was in debt to him for allowing me to be here. I also pointed out if all this work needed to be done maybe it should have been done before it was rented.

Do I have a leg to stand on per se if I contact authorities? Yes I do get notice but just because he gives me notice does he have a right to be here any time he wants, as much as he wants?

OK this is something not everyone is going to understand considering I have posted on this site but I wanted to share.

When I first joined NN it was because my confidence was so low and NN made me feel good about myself to a degree. I loved the compliments and it was nice to know I wasn't considered a freak and that someone out there may find me at least not totally unattractive.

Anyways back to now...In the past month I have lost..get this...27 pounds to date. I don't know how and I don't even care how. At this rate I have 28 more to go (according to the gym and where they think I should be).

Getting ready for a job interview today I decided to stay nude so I didn't stain my clothes. When I looked in the mirror I couldn't believe my eyes. I LIKE what I see. I still have a bit of belly but not so much. I like my hair, my eyes and my smile. I am finally seeing cheek bones and I feel sexy. Most of all though is just the fact I like what I saw. I have an hourglass figure emerging and I feel so feminine.

It doesn't matter if every single person in the world tells you you are smart/sexy/beautiful until you believe it, its useless to you.

On Wednesday I am joining the gym and I am going to tone this body up and lose the rest of the weight. Good thing people can't see into my apartment because I think being naked may be happening a lot more in my future.

Ok so Today makes it 3 weeks since I hit the big city. Its getting better thank goodness. I am still not working but I think I start a one week temp job at the end of next week if nothing else.

I have been slowly getting around seeing more and going a few more places. Its been so nice out that I love being outside and exploring.

Now for the really, awesome, fantastic, incredible news (well for me...probably not for anyone else lol). I have been checking out gyms to join and today while I was at one I asked to use their scale. I am down........dun dun dun da da.....TWENTY ONE lbs!!!! in 3 weeks! Thats like 7 lbs a week! I try and go walking/running every day and really watch what I eat. I knew I had lost some but I didn't think that much. At this rate I would be the size I want by Christmas...I know that won't happen as the loss is going to start slowing down but thats ok because by the time it does hopefully I will be working and then I can join the gym.

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

How much are people supposed to handle in their life? I have always believed that we are never given more than we can handle..although I don't always agree with this when I have seen people around me suffer so much.

In the past 2 weeks I have:

Ended a job
Moved away from friends
Been lied to, cheated on and dumped in a round-about way
Had a job, then had it taken away
Got a new apartment
Missed my friends and family from home
Been alone more than I want to
Been on interviews
Tried to find my way in a strange city
Been worried about 2 friends
Took new risks
Reached out to people who I wasn't sure how they would respond
and goodness knows what else

Yet I am still here, still alive and still fighting for it to get better which I am sure it will. I do believe things happen for a reason even if that reason isn't clear now or ever. Maybe I will meet a better guy, maybe I will get a better job and maybe this stress will be the kick in the pants to motivate me to be the person I want to be.

Already I have learned from these 2 weeks to:
trust myself more, to go after what I want and I also got a good long look into what makes me tick and what makes me do some of the things I do.

Well enough rambling and time to get back to the job search.

OK so I lied on one of my previous blogs and caught it as I was rereading them. I have let other people in, in the past few years. I have made a whole new group of friends online, made new friends day to day and for a while I lived with my grandparents and got to know my grandmother even more which is awesome.

As for me well I am doing new things everyday. LOL I finally rode the subway and buses and not only that but I found the exact place I was looking for--which just happened to be an interview I went on. Hopefully I will know in a few days as the jobs are supposed to start very soon.

LOL I have noticed one thing. Even though I am living in a new city I am still a homebody. I am still not comfortable going out at night alone yet plus I am not one of those ballsy girls who goes to clubs on their own. I am not looking for a one night stand and I know for the most part thats what does happen there.

My friends are coming to visit me, we are all just on seperate schedules at the moment so there hasn't been a good time to meet.

I know I will survive (if my ulcer doesn't kill me first that is lol)and I will be stronger in the end. For anyone out there who thinks I am psycho well then you have never had any stress in your life. Looking back I think I dealt with quite a lot on my own and this is a place I can let it all out. I don't write my blogs for other people they are for me. For anyone who reads what I write --are you considered normal? LOL just joking.