Well I just took another step in this thing I call my life. I put a deposit down on an apartment (haha a shoe box really) in Toronto. So for the minimum next 6 months I shall call that my home.

Its funny..the more I want something, the more scared I get when I get it. I have finally met someone and its going well. The real test will be whenever we can see each other whenever we choose. The fact we even talk about the future (I don't mean kids/marriage etc..I mean about 3 weeks from now...2 months etc) encourages me he wants more than a roll in the hay.

I think I view life as going from great event to the next..I always tend to have something I am looking forward to...all summer it was meeting my friends, before that it was moving to Ontario, etc and maybe thats why I get scared when I get what I want. I can't ever imagine a day going by where I can't dream of something yet to come...but maybe thats the secret to life...always have something to aim for and something to dream about and you will always have some sort of direction. Then again maybe I waste my life waiting for whats yet to come. Either way I think this is a step ahead and even though it will be one of the toughest things I've ever done, I think looking back I will pat my back for being fearless (at least on the outside) and taking a chance.

When I first started working here in April I went around one day and looked at all the rooms to get an idea of what was in each room. Well I fell in love with our best room..its nothing overly fancy like you would see at a 4 star hotel but its more suited to me.
There is a fireplace, a huge bed..and best of all a 2 person jacuzzi. I joked and said I was renting it at the end of the year even if it was just me in it...which i figured it would be.

Well if things go right I will have that room Saturday night...and the guy to go with it! (If not..I think I still have the guy when I hit Toronto, so not all is lost) Sex followed by a long bubble bath leading to more sex sounds like a blast to me!

OK so who out there believes in fate? Or uses that to base decisions?

I WANT to move to Toronto so bad. Yes everything is against me. My family and friends do not want me to go there and are quite vocal about it. Every apartment I find there doesn't end up working out and now the girl who was going to help me with furniture just realized she can't so now I need a cheap, furnished place...like thats going to happen! Not to mention I need a job, but thats actually the part I am worried the least about. I could rent a room in someones home but thats really not mystyle and I would not feel comfortable at all. I found one place that is furnished...but you share a bathroom with 4 strangers....EWWWWWW! I am not picky (I swear) I will even take a room the size of a closet at this point.

Its funny in PEI...I had a job and a place to live..yet not a lot of friends and no boyfriends

in Toronto

I have friends...and the very good possibility of a guy...lol why can't I have it all??

beach ~ working on not having to live on the street

Hmm once again not much to blog about.

Lets see...my job here is almost over like...17 more days *scary*. I am still planning on moving to Toronto which is as frustrating as hell. Looking for an apartment online is hardddddddd. I am waiting to hear on a sublet..hopefully that works out. I know I can find a room somewhere but I really don't feel comfortable with that. I like my own space. But I may need to do that until I get a job I guess and see what kind of rent I can pay.

What else is new..Oh i am like totally obsessed with sex again. LOL its on my mind 24/7. You would think I finally got some that I would be ok for a little bit but noooooo I want MORE! LOL I even told him that last night. We barely made it out of the stairway and all I wanted was to drag him back in. We both agreed next time we will be somewhere more comfy and private because I sure plan on taking my time...oh and YES! there is going to be a next time *wink* scoreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Beachy...happier every day - Don't wake me up

OK

So the this point we are in the stairwell leaning against the wall...clothes are all pushed to the side and its getting quite warm.

Reaching down I took his cock in my hand and ran my hand up it the best I could with the barrier of the jeans in the way. Reaching the tip, I swiped my thumb over the head and collected the drop of precum. Without even thinking, I removed my hand and raised my thumb to my lips and licked the wetness off as I looked up into his face. His head tilted back and he groaned.
Pushing me completely back against the wall, he yanked my jeans down further and started pumping his finger in very quickly. I am sure we were quite a site with me reach for him and him trying to get futher and deeper into me.
Suddenly we heard the noise of the door to the stairs opening on another floor. Quickly he closed the last little bit of distance between us and I wrap my arms around his shoulders and burried my head and started licking at his neck again.
Once we were sure they were gone, he tilted my head back and started kissing me again. I couldn't wait anymore, I pulled his shirt out of his pants and licked my way down his chest stopping once to raise up a little and bite his nipple. Sinking down even lower, I pulled his jeans open, and pulled his cock through the out of the boxers. Leaning in close I licked the head and then looked up at him and grinned. Slowly, inch by inch I took him in my mouth, quite proud of myself because he was not small and I got all of him in. Three or four times I did this, teasing him. Then using my saliva to lube him up well, I slid my hand down his length and combined a hand job/blow job. Not wanting him to cum, I released my hand and licked at his balls and then swirled my tongue all over his dick. Then putting all of him in my mouth again I looked up into his eyes and then once again started to pump him into my mouth.
Moaning he grabbed me by the arms and hauled me up and kissed me passionatly. Fully pushing both our jeans down he grabbed his cock and started sliding it along my clit. At this point I don't think I would have cared who came along. He whispered into my ear asking if this was ok, and did I want him to stop.
After hissing "noooooooo" he fully entered me. I arched my back against the wall and raised one leg and hooked it around his waist as he pumped in and out of me. I swear it felt so good I have no idea how long we were like that. Finally we tired of that position as we were both standing and it was hard for him to go any deeper. Turning around I placed my hands on the concrete wall and smiled back at him. He thrust into me with quick hard thrusts. HAHAH once I forgot where we were and I let my arms down and ended up hitting my head off the wall - that hurts a little more than a headboard!
Within minutes me was moaning he was going to cum so I pushed myself back even further, clenching my muscles even tighter. As a wave came over me, I felt him jerk and pull out. Mmmm mmm
My only regret is that I never got to see him cum, and as well I would have liked to finish him off in my mouth. Hopefully there is a next time.

I swear on my life this is all true..haha and if you could only see me - blushing as I type the work cock. I can pose nude but I can't say cock...go figure

ok so where was I....

oh right..

We pushed the button for the elevator and got on. As soon as the door closed he pulled me in for another kiss that was short lived as soon we stopped to pick someone up at another floor.

We left the hotel and we went for a walk. As soon as we were on the sidewalk he took my hand (going sappy for a moment--this means a lot to me...that hes saying to everyone that I am with him). So we walked for a bit and he pointed out some buildings to me and some good places to eat/shop. We talked about family and some other random things. Too soon we were back at the hotel which I didn't want because I knew he had to be up early the next day for work =0(
Once again we got on the elevator and again, a make out session although this time we weren't disturbed. We got off the elevator, went down the hall and turned to go down the section near my room. As soon as we turned the corner he grabbed me and we backed against the wall and started getting pretty hot and heavy in an instant. In no time we were getting a little too into in the hall way where anyone could see. Lucky for us, right in front of us was a stairwell so we made our way there.

OK now I have to switch narritives as I feel odd telling the story as I am. Please bear with me

We entered the stairwell and very quickly kissing was not enough. I reach under his shirt and started dragging my nail along his stomach right above his jeans, loving the way he jerked back in reaction. I wanted more and I wanted more now. I pulled him in closer and started licking and nibbling on his neck, ears, jawline.

Soon his hands were roaming too and pulling my tank top down and pushing my bra to the side. When he leaning in and took my nipple in his mouth I know for sure I moaned.

Again after a few more minutes of teasing this was just not enough. His hand slid down and undid my belt and the button on my jeans. Pushing the material aside his finger slid into me with no problem as I was more than ready for him. Not playing innocent I quickly reached into his jeans, looking for what I wanted. Finding it was no trouble and I could tell the feeling was definitly mutual...

Now at this point I am unsure if I should go on. Part of me feels like its wrong and I need to respect his privacy too...then again this is like a diary and I need somewhere to put all my feelings in perspective. Hopefully I will be back soon with the rest of the story

woot another good day! Possibly awesome but I will explain that later....

Dear NN Penthouse,

A few weeks ago I met up with someone I've until that point only known online. Being me I was beyond nervous and didn't know what to expect. We were supposed to meet at 7 but I got caught up and didn't make it back to the hotel in time and in all the excitement I had forgot to take his cell number with me.
Finally I was able to reach him and he was on his way. Being a typical girl I pranced around and changed a million times. By the time he was there I was only just starting to get ready.
I made my friend anwser the door and let him in. From the bathroom I listened to them chat and I tried to asses him from there. Finally I couldn't stay in the bathroom anymore and I went and made my apperance.
I walked into the living room and tried to get a good look without being obvious. Now if you ask me what was said in that first ten minutes I have no idea. All I remember was thinking was "Damn! He is cute" I finally got the nerve to ask him if he had seen the view from our balcony. We excused ourselves and went outside. After about a minute of small talk where he pointed out various buildings and landmarks to me, we kept getting closer and closer until we were touching. A pause hit the conversation and I turned to look up at him and as natural as if I had done it 100 times before, I went right into his arms. With the tension broken I looked up into his eyes, and he leaned in and kissed me. Not bad I thought..quite a setting...a balcony on the 21st floor overlooking the city.
After a few minutes of kissing we went back inside, where we talked to my friend for a few minutes and then I went into the bedroom to grab my jacket so we could go for a walk....he was talking to me and followed me in. Instantly we were in each others arms and I have a feeling if we had been alone we would have never left the bedroom. Things heated up in a hurry to some heavy petting and some longggggggg hot kisses. Finally I pushed him away, not wanting to start something we couldn't finish. I said bye to my friend, and we left the suite to go for a walk...

OK so I don't bore you I will continue more later. Call me a slut, or a whore if you wish for what I did that night but I am an adult who wanted this and I knew what I was doing the whole time. I was determined for once I was throwing caution to the wind and I was going to enjoy being with a male and not worry about anything else -the future, my reputation, nothing. Whatever happens between us in the future I won't regret this night. (for the record we are still talking and plan to meet up again)

Evening all!

LOL I want to blog and I have nothing to blog about so I will blog about that lol.

My job here is almost done...wow I've been in Ontario for almost 6 months now and I have to say the changes are for the better. I've actually met some people, I'm fairly happy, I have a new set of friends who I feel like I've known forever, I don't feel the need to be someone I'm not, I've had sex (haha I just realized I don't know if I let that slip...*blush*) remind me to write about that....it was something you could read in penthouse forums..well at least I think so...anyone wanna know the nitty gritty??
I've lost 10 pounds so far, not enough but a start and thats what counts and overall I am pretty happy. BTW for anyone who knows where to look there are new face pics of me up..I am almost starting to look good. I hope the rest of the year continues out the same way

On the way to happiness

..since I have been with my friends I miss them already. But in just 4 more weeks I will hopfully be moving closer to them. I am excited but oh so nervous. Surviving in a small town is one thing..surviving in Toronto is another.

I hope I am moving for the right reasons. I really believe I have a chance to find a good job there and be able to not only survive but thrive. Already I have some good friends there and there is still the matter of the guy I met.

I like him - a lot- but he confuses me, as do all guys. We've gone from xrated to PG yet he says he wants to see me when I move to Toronto. I know I am crazy..first I was upset it was all xrated and now I upset its not. I keep telling myself there is no reason for him to continue to talk to me if hes not interested and I hope thats the case. My insecurites just creep in however and they give me reasons like He just doesnt want to be a jerk, He wants a fuck friend, etc.

I've decided I am just going to go with it and hope something happens and if not..well at least I can finally stop claiming to be innocent all these months lol. I have no regrets really for what we did while we were together because I wanted -and Needed- that closeness. If hes the guy for me I can tell you now he will be one lucky guy. Already I am dreaming up some naughty things to do..and if he chooses to walk away then I guess I just look for someone else. For once there are many prospects around

BTW in case you didnt notice I got a new digi cam(yeah about time) but I just can't get into the groove to take some pics...hopefully you will see some more new stuff from me soon

..........I did it! I finally met people from the internet *cue music lol*
and....it ws effin awesome! OMG we had sooooooo much fun! The whole weekend was perfect and we exactly what I wanted. I felt like I've known these people forever and a day. We all fit so well together. ANDDDDDD

I met the guy I was thinging about meeting! It went awesome -haha at least from my point of view. From the huge hug and kiss I got I think it went ok for him too. LOL he's still talking to me so that has to be good. Looks like in 5 weeks I am moving to Toronto baby..lol if all else fails I will work on a street corner, or become a hobo.