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Laid-back, easy going guy until my passions are aroused. I've been here 3 other times... I keep trying to get it right, I guess. lol
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| Friday, November 15, 2024, 8:01:37 PM- A worthy quote | ||
"It takes two years to learn to speak and sixty to learn to be quiet." - Earnest Hemingway ~ | ||
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| Thursday, November 14, 2024, 7:22:02 PM- That be true | ||||||
Why do girls rub their eyes when they wake up? Because they have no balls to scratch. ~ | ||||||
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| Wednesday, November 13, 2024, 7:23:23 PM- Call soon | ||
Overeaters Anonymous hotline - (88  888-8888~ | ||
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| Tuesday, November 12, 2024, 7:55:13 PM- Egg-zactly | ||
One morning I walked into the kitchen right after I got out of bed. My wife was standing there in front of the stove and a pot of eggs she was getting ready to boil. The only thing she was wearing was the t-shirt she sleeps in. She looked at me and asked me to make love to her right then and there. Not wanting to lose the opportunity, I had her on the kitchen table. The wife then walked over to the pot of eggs with her t-shirt still up around her neck. I asked her why she wanted to have sex in the kitchen and not the bedroom. She smiled and told me the 3 minute egg timer was broken. ~ | ||
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| Monday, November 11, 2024, 8:25:22 PM- Needed info | ||||||
A hacker called and told me he had all of my passwords. I grabbed a pen and paper and told him Great! What are they? ~ | ||||||
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| Sunday, November 10, 2024, 6:57:27 PM- Pro tip | ||
When preparing for a date, always make sure you smell good. Your date's nose will be the first thing you penetrate. ~ | ||
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| Saturday, November 9, 2024, 6:58:26 PM- Waiting | ||
You know you're leading a serene life when your main goal for the day is waiting on dusk to see if the parking lot light has been repaired properly. ~ | ||
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| Thursday, November 7, 2024, 6:58:00 PM- No bones about it | ||
Why can't skeletons make music in church? Because they have no organs. ~ | ||
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| Wednesday, November 6, 2024, 8:13:27 PM- I'm not buying it | ||
The salesman said the car would seat six people, no problems. I told him I don't know six people with no problems. ~ | ||
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| Tuesday, November 5, 2024, 7:23:06 PM- Odd but true | ||||||
Of all the things that taste like chicken, it's weird that eggs aren't one of them. ~ | ||||||
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