Well so much for putting up my Christmas-y shit. It didn't get done. Some stuff is out but the tree is not in nor are the rest of the decos down from the closet shelves.

T&K were supposed to come over for dinner last night with their kids but instead of 8 for dinner it turned into an impromptu dinner party for 11 as our friends J&S hadn't dinner plans so they were invited as well. 6 adults and 5 kids, a full house. I made lasagna and ceasar salad so it was easy to just make more and put out more plates. The kids played downstairs in the basement while the grown-ups hung out upstairs. I was pretty tired after everyone left (around 10:00) so no decorating for me.

Ah well, it will get done one of these days. I am shooting for tomorrow and I intend to get the husband to at least bring up the tree and fetch me down my boxes so I can get a start on it tomorrow morning. I won't do the tree until our son comes home from school, he would be heartbroken and hate me forever, you know how 9 year olds are lol.

At least I will be posting a couple of pics that I had planned on putting up around Thanksgiving but then with the death happening in my family and everything going haywire, I just wasn't up for it. Hubby is going thru the files and choosing some nice ones so hopefully everyone likes them. They will be posted in a bit so stay tuned...

Puurrs to all,

Currently listening to: Rush "The Color Of Right"

We had a nice dinner with my mom tonight. We all went out and just had a relaxing meal and some conversation. I think she needed to get out of the house. We stayed out later than I had planned so my intention of setting up the tree and putting out the Christmas decorations didn't happen. Ah well there is always tomorrow, right? Hubby is probably grateful to not have to wrestle the tree up from the basement on a full tummy anyhow lol. Or get on a ladder to put up some of the stuff I can't reach, being that I am exceedingly vertically challenged. So Tomorrow is the day I intend to put it all up come hell or high water - my house WILL be Christmas-y dammit!

Puurrs to all,

Currently listening to: White Zombie "Thunder Kiss '65"

The funeral was yesterday. (it's 2:00am, Saturday morning) I fell into bed as soon as we got home. I woke up a bit ago and now I can't sleep. All I can say is it was an utterly bizarre and confusing day. I keep trying to make sense of it all but I can't seem to. I actually feel oddly numb. I didn't cry once. What is wrong with me? Why do I feel so strange and hollow? Why was everyone around me weeping but I was just staring off into space and wishing I was a million miles away? I don't know why I feel so disassociated and it scares me. The whole day all I could think of was "I want to go home and go to sleep." I was desperate to do that and now after crawling into my bed and succumbing to the exhaustion, I am stuck here - awake and unable to go back to sleep. WTF?

Puurrs to all,

Currently listening to: The hum of my hard drive

Been a busy girl this a.m., gotten a lot done. Started some laundry, stripped the bed, loaded dishwasher, fed chickens & cats, swept the kitchen and started to take down the fall decorations and put up some Christmas ones. Now I am getting ready to bake a pan of brownies for dessert tonight. our SO's and their kids are coming for dinner tonight so I will be cooking for 8.

All the activity is good for me right now; I need some distraction. The less I think about the funeral tomorrow, the better. Sounds possibly heartless and terrible but I can't do anything for the dead other then remember them as they were when they were alive. Remember the good things. It's the living that is going to be causing the problems. There is a shitstorm of family drama & angst just over the horizon and it is coming in fast. If I could hide from it I would, but I will be doing my best to just keep my head down and get out as fast as I can with as little damage as possible. I don't know why families are so bloody hard to deal with.

I have a lot more chores to do and some errands to run but first I have to make those brownies.

Puurrs to all,

Currently listening to: Daft Punk "Da Funk"

You opened up your door
I couldn't believe my luck
You in your new blue dress
Taking away my breath
The cradle is soft and warm
Couldn't do me no harm
You're showing me how to give

Into temptation
Knowing full well the earth will rebel
Into temptation

In a muddle of nervous words
Could never amount to betrayal
The sentence is all my own
The price is to watch it fail
As I turn to go
You looked at me for half a second
An open invitation for me to go

Into temptation
Knowing full well the earth will rebel
Into temptation
Safe in the wide open arms of hell

We can go sailing in
Climb down
Lose yourself when you linger long
Into temptation
Right where you belong

The guilty get no sleep
In the last slow hours of morning
Experience is cheap
I should have listened to the warning
But the cradle is soft and warm

Into temptation
Knowing full well the earth will rebel
Into your wide open arms
No way to break the spell
Don't tell

"Into Temptation" by Crowded House

It is 4:34am and I am wide awake. We are having a wind storm that is freaky and intense. It just blew up out of nowhere! The house is creaking and the windows are rattling like nobodies business. I am scared shitless of the sound of the wind so I am sitting here biting my nails. Been afraid of the sound of the wind since I was a child - yeah I know I am 37 and should have outgrown that fear, but I never did.

I hope that when the sun comes up in a couple hours that our fences haven't been blown down and that we haven't lost power. It would also be nice if our neighbor's house doesn't frigging fall on us as well. It is a 2 storey Italianate Victorian that looks like the Leaning Tower Of Pisa. One of these days it's gonna fall over. I just hope the wind is blowing in the opposite direction that day.

Gonna try and go back to bed now, maybe if I pull the covers over my head...?

Puurrs to all,

Currently listening to: The sound of the wind - creepy

I am tired. I am cranky. I am in the mood to suck some cock. I NEED to do it. I NEED to feel it throbbing in my mouth and shooting off down the back of my throat. I am in one of those moods...a NEED mood...

Puurrs to all,

Currently listening to: The hum of my hard drive

Another day. No mention of death or funerals, I don't want to think about it. Tired of thinking about it, so not anymore for today.

Instead I just got out of the shower and finished drying my hair. I am going to make a lunch and bring it to my husband's work and we can share a lunch together. Just need to throw on some make-up and and I am out the door.

Puurrs to all,

Currently listening to: Rancid "Salvation"

Been cooking this afternoon again - this is Thanksgiving part II. I cooked an entire Thanksgiving meal on the 23rd and shared it with friends. It was good to have caring people around me, I needed that. 6 adults and 5 kids and everyone ate till bursting. It was a good distraction.

Now my parents are home and we are doing a mini version of Thanksgiving since we missed out on it. It is hard for me to handle right now as my mom is having a tough time coping and I am flat out depressed. I am so tired of crying. Let's hope I can get thru the evening without more tears.

Puurrs to all,

Currently listening to: OutKast "Hey Ya!"

At 2:05pm yesterday my uncle was removed from life support. He was pronounced dead at 2:20. He is gone now. Off to the great golf course in the sky (he was a rabid golfer).

He was a good man. A good husband, father, step-father, grandfather and uncle. An all around good egg. He will be sorely missed.

Tell the people you care about that you love them - you never know what can happen...

Puurrs to all,

Currently listening to: The hum of my hard drive