it's been a while since I've accepted myself AS-IS... well, I have to every day... but sitting here, and contemplating my life, my experiences... lessons learned and relearned...
love given freely and love received... joys and laughter shared...

and then alone... time to reflect and say.. forgive yourself, Dawn.

You thought it was the only way to get the job done. You did what it took, and you had to be firm, hard and tough... crying on the inside.... and standing still.

Life isn't easy. Oh what a struggle it seems to forever be...
without the shining moments, it wouldn't hold me here, to be honest.

The moments of positive, of joyous laughter smiles, hugs and kisses... sharing this great world of ours.. and MY view of it...
I suppose that's why I'm alive...
to share my love of beauty and of life.

still amazingly cold here.... going to be snow in a few days, so the weather channel informs me...

I'm wondering... will you see the silver lining in the middle of a darkened storm?

I'm not sure that I do appreciate the glimmers of light often enough that life provides.. reminders of what we can have, if we're patient, if we retain some hope... if we go get that which we seek and find... embracing it as our reward for patience and humbling experiences.

gusty frigid air. It's been impressively freezy all day here. The wind's been knocking on our door off and on all day.. the Welcome plaque banging against the door sounds like there's someone knocking desperately to get in!

Today and last night, my daughter and I enjoyed watching movies. Her guy friend had taken her out for breakfast and stayed through two movies with her, and with me... I tried to share food, but for some reason nobody but me wanted the chili encrusted salmon and mixed veggies. I polished off all the veggies and ate little morsels of salmon... yummm

Long day with the daughter... and a painful neck and back made her taste a bitter pill. I WAS planning to go to another concert, tonight... to dance with friends and goof off... but dancing with this level of pain would be far from a wise choice. She'd had plans for a night of watching movies at home with a guy she knows.. but due to MY changes he backed out. She's frustrated, hurt and pissy so we're apparently NOT going to be watching the Redbox movie together tonight. And maybe not tomorrow either?

Dunno how to help her. But I do know how to manage this if this is a tantrum. Nip it in the bud before it blooms into a full scale blow out.

Meanwhile I've been texting with a friend from here who I don't get to talk or chat with often so it was nice to hear from him... and, I got to text a bit with a local man I am getting to know when we both have time for a bit. He's one busy man. Got to keep himself making the world a better place his yards and home more to his liking. Can't fault anyone for wanting and following through on that.

Eyes are burning.... may go to bed early tonight....

I had a lovely time at the concert. Bought an albumn from one of the other bands... didn't see the new one from The American Hitmen on their table or I'd have snagged it, and gotten their autographs. as it is, now I've got to go see Betty Hates Everything again, just to get their autographs on my purchase...

I got to spend time with friends from work... friends at my site and two fantastic ladies I adore from the Las Vegas site... One was my supervisor for about a year. Love that gorgeous young lady. And the other... she's savvy, sexy, tough and soft hearted. God blessed me with fantastic people to love and enjoy.
They'll be up again end of next month and we've promised we're going to have a Ladies Night out together then. I can't wait.

Meanwhile, I get to open the goody loot bag I was given by the woman who'd sold me my CD... It's dirty, naughty and cool... a condom packaged with their logo... lip balm, a dog tag necklace, sticker and a lifesaver... all with their logos... *smirks* you know.. all the things you need for that date where you need to smell good and be safe *winks*

I think I'm going back to the club tonight. Gotta get and give more hugs to friends I adore, and hear some of their new music... what IS it about this time of year?

I know at least five bands who're putting out or just put out new CD's.

I'm proud of every one of them.

the two drawings I've shared this week (profile pic and the forest in my blog) are now on eBay, for sale... started them at the mandatory $0.99 each, which is always scary... but it's fun, too.

I'm hoping to get decent bids. We'll see.

Tonight's the concert. I hope it all goes well for the guys.

$500 into debt, but my rotors and everything brake on the front was replaced... bad bad bad things were replaced with new nice safe safe things....

I get to find out an approximate cost for my removal of dead and ruined wisdom teeth in the next few days... and will be having it done in March before my benefits change from one plan to another.

Tomorrow i get to drive a car that doesn't groan grind and shriek, to work... then in the evening get to hugs a bunch of friends I adore at the CD sampling celebratory concert for American Hitmen...

So the week's not bad. It's pretty good, really.

I just finished this drawing and the one I've got for my profile, last night.... THIs is my favorite one of the three I've got posted on FB, so far...

[img] [/img]

thank you, newromantic for helping me get this posted.

I almost forgot to share...

good news. For the first time in over 2 years, I'll have real live health insurance. Limited, yes, but ohhhh, it's real. The company my daughter represents through our outsourced call center is providing us two different health insurance options, dental and vision, too. I'm dropping that waste of money indemnity and replacing it with the simplified medical coverage, keeping the catastrophic and short term and term life(also offered through the other health ins co.). I'll toss the old life ins policies once I can get the right fax # to fax my divorce decree and termination request for BOTH life insurance policies plus, cancel the one I'm paying for for my daughter, too.

my kid.. has decided to take advantage of the benefits, too.. her father chose a worthless health policy so she's going to get the same limited one. I'm relieved.

a song I've never hear Neal sing... but it's absolutely lovely... this is the lead singer and song writer for Royal Bliss along with the painist Jon.

a friend shared it with me, the other day.


such a dear loving song dedicated to his wife.

Yes, guess I AM still a romantic. Even though I doubt I'll ever be loved by a man... I do still wish. I didn't get to experience the tenderness I thought I'd have for the rest of my life, in person for more than a few days in total... I'd like to be able to share such dear and joyous loving some day.. with a man who could want, cherish and see the good and beauty in me.