A 47 year old woman spends thousands on a face lift.

On her way home she stops in a ladies' shoe store.

She asks the salesperson:

"How old do I look?"

The salesperson replies:

"35."

"I'm 47", she happily says and leaves the store.

She then stops in a McDonald's for lunch.

At the counter she asks the person taking her order:

"How old do you think I look?"

"I'm 47" she says happily, and leaves.

As she is walking to her car, she meets an old man.

"How old do you think I look?" she asks him.

"Well", he tells her,

"my eyesight ain't as good as it used to be,

but if you let me feel around under your skirt I can tell ya."

Befuddled, the woman looks at him.

Seeing no one else is around, she tells him it's okay.

The old man puts his hand under the woman's skirt and feels around for a few seconds.

He withdraws his hand and says: "47."

"That's amazing!" the woman says. "How could you tell?"

Smiling, the old man looks at her and says:

"I was behind you in line at McDonald's."

I read somewhere that a tablespoon or two of apple cider vinegar is good for your digestion.

Trust me on this...

don't take it first thing in the morning.

Unless you want your eyes to fly open and get the feeling you've been sucking on a lemon.

~

There is controversy in the U.S.A. right now about whether Donald Trump could be elected president with a (possible) felony on his record.

In my hometown, which has had a long standing nick name of 'Little Chicago' because of corruption since the 1920s,

we have lived through that scenario over the years.

One mayor was sent to prison for corruption after he resigned his office.

After his release from prison, he was elected mayor again.

We have had two ex-mayors sent to prison after their terms, both for corruption.

This is America...

where dreams, and sometimes nightmares,

can come true.

~

I was out of bar soap for the shower.

I bought one bar to get me by,

then bought 30 bars online which should last me longer than my last bulk purchase of soap.

That lasted 4 years.

And I only buy large bars of soap -

5 to 7 oz.

Then I bought 2 pair of camo trousers and a couple of olive green t-shirts.

I should have stopped at the soap,

but I can't resist a good deal.

~

Got up this morning.

Had a good walk,

then a nice cuppa coffee.

I was ready to shower and shave.

BUT,

I forgot to buy more soap for the shower Saturday.

I haven't done it in a long, long time,

but I washed my entire body with shampoo.

Now I'm off to the store.

At least my body hair smells good.

~

Have a safe and thoughtful Memorial Day.

~

I've put flowers on 8 family graves for Memorial Day

(or Remembrance Day as they say down south where my family came from).

I've done laundry.

I've washed and waxed my car.

One more stop today at the grocery,

then it will be time to relax with a beer and watch a baseball game.

Life is good.

~

I have, in the past few days, had a certain word x-ed out by NN.

It is not a naughty word.

It is a word that starts with a b and ends with a t.

It is another name for an animal.

I asked support why this word was x-ed out.

They told me it was on a list of words not to be used on NN.

I wrote back a bit befuddled -

when I see so many certain four letter words used frequently on an adult web site,

the word I used is nothing compared to the others.

My last line was:

It is to laugh.

Is NN confused?

??

Being
Eagerly
Adamant
Since
Tuesday.

~

Have a wish bone,

a back bone

and a funny bone.

And don't say the word xxxxxxxxx or it will be exed out.