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Laid-back, easy going guy until my passions are aroused. I've been here 3 other times... I keep trying to get it right, I guess. lol
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| Monday, June 2, 2025, 5:57:13 PM- The odds | ||
What's the difference between a man buying a lottery ticket and a man arguing with his wife? The man buying the lottery ticket has a chance to win. ~ | ||
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| Sunday, June 1, 2025, 4:34:35 PM- (cough) | ||
On the local news, it was reported Saturday to expect smoke from Canadian wildfires to drift down into my state on Sunday, but they wouldn't cause any health problems. I awoke at 6am coughing and there was a haze in the sky. I had to put on my Covid mask while I put on the fans to draw the 'haze' out of my home. Six hours later, the haze is gone, the sun is shining brightly and the air is now clear. Always take news reports with a grain of salt. ~ | ||
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| Saturday, May 31, 2025, 4:55:09 PM- An ounce of prevention | ||
I learned the hard way that when your vet tells you to get your pets their shots, he did not mean taking them to the bar with you. ~ | ||
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| Friday, May 30, 2025, 6:06:19 PM- A good description | ||||||
A policeman finds a little in the park, all alone and crying. "What's wrong, honey?" the policeman asked. "I lost my xxxxxxxxx." she replies between sobs. "Maybe I can help find him." the cop says soothingly. "What's he like?" he asks her. "Big tits and beer." She replies. ~ | ||||||
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| Thursday, May 29, 2025, 6:27:22 PM- Refreshing | ||||||
I ran out of coffee this morning. Tequila seemed a reasonable replacement. Everyone is so pretty today. ~ | ||||||
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| Wednesday, May 28, 2025, 6:09:01 PM- Things that go bump | ||
A woman passes away. After the funeral service, the pallbearers are carrying out the casket, when they accidentally bump a wall. They hear a moan from inside the casket. Quickly opening the casket, they find the woman is alive. She lives another 10 years before passing away. As the pallbearers are carrying her out after the funeral, her husband says "Be careful not to bump into anything this time." ~ | ||
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| Tuesday, May 27, 2025, 6:21:30 PM- I dare ya | ||||||
The next time you pass wind in public, say "Do I smell popcorn?" Then watch everyone take a deep breath. ~ | ||||||
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| Monday, May 26, 2025, 6:21:06 PM- I'm living it | ||
Funny thing about getting older... Your eyesight dims, but your ability to see through people gets much clearer. ~ | ||
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| Sunday, May 25, 2025, 4:37:43 PM- Responsibility | ||||||
I thought for a long time that it was the dryer shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the fridge all along. ~ | ||||||
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| Saturday, May 24, 2025, 5:28:27 PM- Back off! | ||
There's no need to tailgate me when I'm doing 50 in a 35 zone. And Those flashing lights on top of your car look ridiculous. ~ | ||
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